Sunday, July 13, 2008

Nine Lives

I am now just for shits and giggles of course going to give u a brief run down of the last month...

I get to Michigan and stay 90% of the time sitting in my grandpa's recliner and grandmas house. Want to know why? Because there wasn't shit to do.

I listen to my tots fight, I listen to granny tell me all sorts of things that now I have let slip from my solar powered thinking tank.

I seen some pals, now many and not for very long...

I go hang out with my brother in law and sister in law, we drink, I learn lots of interesting things....lots..I mean shit, they are nearly as cool as I this was a plus.

I hang with my dad and step mother....we go golfing one night...we go to a golf dinner..we dads backs into my car...we go to the beach.

I spend time at my mother in laws, which makes me want to put numerous forks in my forks and even a butter knife or two.

I take my tots to the beach one day...and mind you, the whole time I'm there the weather is that of a cold October day...with rain and no fuckin sunshine.

After the tots frolic in the waves, I see this..

Appears we were swimming in a lil I'm sure we will all have bloody diarrhea till we die which could be any day now..

God Speed.

Here are the tots on the beach..

See how the hot sun is blazing down onto them?...see all the E-coli ravaging their tiny bodies?

damn sun was on vacation somewhere.

Lets see, what else...

I don't know,..oh here is one of me and Jill..(half Mexican momma)

I only saw her once, but it will have to do.

The days all started to blend together...I was unsure what month it was or the day and hell even the time.

My cell phone hardly worked at all...Which in turn made me very cranky. Kinda like a baby with bad gas.

Honestly what the hell is the point of a cell phone tower? I tell u I was right in front of one and the bitch still didn't work..

It worked in grandmas driveway, a couple park benches (depending what direction I faced) my dads sporadically, and other various restrooms and such..

Can u hear me now?


There is my dad, my Boo and my step ma...

one big happy family...

Here we are on 4th of July..

So the very next day we leave for home. Which was nice..

Between Sunday and Thursday I drive thru Michigan, Wisconsin, Minnesota...then Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, BACK to Illinois, BACK to Iowa, and BACK to Minnesota..


I have a roaring case of restless ass syndrome.

While in Waterloo Iowa, I am pa-rusing this mall cause frankly my ass hurts and I need to urinate and consume mass qaunties of food..

I'm driving in the parking lot trying to decide where to park, when low and behold I end up going down the wrong way on a one way street while oncoming traffic is heading right toward me.

Thank you sister...I hope your decision was well worth it...Hope the wandering pecker gives you many good years of STD's and love-less nights..

I get back home and NEED to order a Def Leppard ticket.

I mean after all that this bitch needs a vacation.

I was not going to go to Iowa for this show, I mean when I traveled outta state for a show in April, we all know how that panned out. But I just need something to look forward too.

The though of driving back to Iowa makes me have bloody dieharea all in itself..

But I go and order a 5 star ticket...which was a steal because normally they run about 350. And this one is only 185. How could I NOT do it?

So I will be seated in the first 8 rows..(which I normally am)...will mingle at a pre show party , have crowd free shopping and oh did I mention..I'm going ALONE.


its ok though...I am going to meet up with some people I know from the bands forum.

No, it does not make me a loser, so stop saying it out loud because I can hear you.

Oh and the opening act is Everclear. Who the hell are they? I don't know...

And I don't wanna know...

I'm use to good acts like Journey, Styx, Foreigner, Bryan Adams, Joan Jett, Billy Idol.

EVERCLEAR?..holy toots say it aint so.

I will leave u with some pics of my Blondie climbing a rock wall, cause I know thats what y'all came here for.

I guess that's all I have for now people...
I was going to tell you about our city parade Saturday that lasted over 2 hours...and how Blondie cried half way and wanted to go cause she was tired..
But I wont bore you with that....
But people, there is such a thing as a parade being too long.
Damn losers.


doozie said...

You should probably try not smiling so much in pictures if you want us to believe how miserable you were ;)

It sort of looked like your tots were the only ones on the beach? Maybe that was a hint? Although a little bird shit never hurt anyone.....or did it?

Flip Flop Momma said...

speaking of bird shit, I 4got to say that one shit right on me at my dads cookout..

Southern Sage said...

FFM, I was thinkin in Mexi-Mom needs anything like light bulbs changed or sumthin give her my hook up!

Ur ole dad did good to I'm thinking!

well glad ur home now.

on the everclear thing, Suagr its Iowa, come on now how would they ever get star power like Haggard or Jones to go there and sing??

Flip Flop Momma said...

I wont even ask who JOnes and Haggard are:)

just_tammy said...

We have some serious catching up to do! It just cracks me up to no end how pissed off you still are about the cell phone thing since we know darn well you hate talking on the phone. Guess you want what you want when you want it...

Don't get me started on crazy family members wanting what they want when they want it free of charge to boot. Remind me to fill you in on my mom's newest line. She'd be dead except she's three days away by car.

A little Def Lep is all you need to cure what ails you!

Flip Flop Momma said...

well the thing with my phone is its the only way the kids could get a hold of me when they were away visiting others..only way hubs could get me while he was in mexcio, only way I could text other peeps to make plans..

damn f-ing phone...

Groovy Mom said...

Wow, that was some month! So? Did you all get deadly diarrhea? I'm assuming no. :-)

IamDerby said...

Because I cant read... I read the part where you were talking about the cell phone (it worked in grandmas driveway, serveral park benches....) I read that as: I worked in grandmas driveway and several park benches... and I just kept thinking...what kind of f*ing work is she doing??? LOL

just_tammy said...

I know...I was your life line at that moment in time...the one time you really need it...Hey, at least your home phone line works when you need it which is more than ours...Phone rings, run to answer, doesn't work, cell phone then rings, run to answer, end up standing on the porch to have the stupid conversation, repeat the whole crazy thing next time the phone rings...welcome to my world...

Flip Flop Momma said...

u aint kiddin

dont worry, i cant read either...

and wouldnt u like to know the kind of f-ing work i WAS doing..haha

that about sums it up...

u need to email me and tell me whats goin on w/u.

1 plus twins said...

so glad your home, hey i thought just you and the kids went to mich. i didn't realize your hubby went too!! so is your sister still with the wandering pecker or has she called for you to come get her again???

Flip Flop Momma said...

he was in mexico, then when he was done there, he flew there and we all drove home together.

well she is living in thier appt,he is living with friends..

Cliff said...

an interesting life C.
I'll agree a two hour parade is too much.

Shannon said...

I am right there with you on parades. Personally, I can't stand them. But the kids like it. Apparently anyone can be in ours. It was also about two hours long. I almost lost my sanity.

Flip Flop Momma said...

we need to mandate a law 4 the parade...cant be any longer then say..13 minutes.

anyone can be in ours too it seems...I coulda walked in it and no one wulda questioned it..

Janell said...

Whew! Your travels made me tired! Very nice collection of pictures, though. Welcome home.
I wish you could have made it to Blogstock. We missed you.

Haphazardkat said...

ha ha ha ha ha!! That would so have been me with the whole drag-the-kid-to-the-stinkin-beach-and-find-out-he's-been-frolicking-in-e-coli! bwahahahahaaa!!

girl--you almost gave me a heart attack with one of your pics! Its the one of your StepMom. for a second I thought it was a pic of my precious Pale One with a....*shudder* TAN!!! I'm gonna need some alcohol therapy STAT!

Your Def ticket was a SCORE...and I love Everclear its great on pimples---just look at it this way....its the grease smeared on the stage to clear the way for your DEF! WOO!!!
*head bangs*


little dizzy now...

Flip Flop Momma said...

I wish I woulda went to Blogstock, trust year if there is 4 sure going, no one is gonna stop me.

nope, pale girl has NO tan, none..

and please, dont tell me step ma look like her....step ma is very pretty...palegirl, is well...pale..

Tom said...

I don't know....I really think pale girl is very pretty. I hope I get to meet her this autumn...

Haphazardkat said...

Who's your Biotch, Baby. Who's your Biotch?!!
That's right.
It's me.
The bringer of High School Musical 3 Video goodness.
*Z snaps*
Step back alla you other commentors!

Flip Flop Momma said...

well she isnt dog meat, but she isnt a beauty queen;)


did u say high school musica 3?...I know it comes out in theaters oct 24 or something...but u have a video..must.go.see.

namaste said...

your dad looks like he's got a lot on his mind. lol!

aawww! so cool you hooked up with jill. tell her maria says hi.

blondie is a trooper for climbing so high.


Monogram Queen said...

Well it's looking like nobody contracted e coli - thank heavens for that! Awww I miss Jill (HMM) so much!!!

Scarlet said...

Great pics. You must be chanting, "There's no place like home," and clicking those red heels right now! Welcome back.

Mrs. K said...

ok may i ask- how old is your step-mama? :o but your dad seems young're brave. I dont think I'd be up for going on a long car ride with anyone but myself- but then I'd drive myself crazy after mile 100.

Flip Flop Momma said...

mrs k,
she is 33 my dad is 53..

one big happy fam:)

CMB said...

OMG - totally missed you. Funny as shit. As far as Everclear, I know 1 of there songs and I like it. Have FUN!