Monday, December 10, 2007

Welcome to the Jungle

So, ok, I am back..

I ended up leaving later then I wanted and then had to head back a day early..It kinda sucked.

On the way there BETTY my GPS, yup I named her Betty...was all bitchy and shit. She kept taking us off the highway and on to some secondary roads, only to take us back to the highway.

Now we did as she said as I thought she was like a God like figure and knew everything.

Turns out she is more like the devil and was trying to kill us.

Whilst there I did not do a lot of what I had planned.

All I did was spend time with my grandma and dad....spent a little time at the cemetery in the freezing cold...ok it was not freezing, it was a balmy 32....compared to the -5 here its balmy damnit....

Not sure why I went to the cemetery, I mean I don't like snow, cold, or dead things. But I needed to clear off the snow from the stone and tell him what a bitch Betty was..and that I was about to dig her a nice grave right beside him..and he could listen to this for hours on end..

beep beep, recalculating....

I recalculated her ass , thats for certain.

On the way home I drove nine hours straight, then had OCG drive the rest...and she decided that driving 80 on an express way was the PERFECT time to text people.

So I beat her and left her for dead on the side of the interstate....then took her phone and ran over it with my wheels.

Betty got a kick out of that.

I get home and one of my kids are sick, I am tired, very crabby.

So I must go..

Here is a couple pics..

That is us stuck in Chicago traffic on the way there

This is us and Half Mexican Momma, we are at the Chinese place.

I have more.

But thats for next time..

to wet your whistle...they are of us at the bar with my dad and my lesbian friend.

Good times, good times...


aatank said...

OK so I went up to the bowling alley to see you after the parade and I saw nothing, nobody, nada. So I had a drink and went home.

Glad to see you made it home safely. I'll be posting sometime this week about my trip.

Flip Flop Momma said...

I know, I know...My whole plan got off with me getting there late..we ended up eating with my dad B4 the parade...after the parade I had 2 go 2 my MIL house, then we went to grandma's...then to The Wooden Nickel then to Boots, then to Marltette for kareoke and we were the only ones there...

I am hoping to come home for alonger time this summer...when I do..we are so gonna go out..

I didnt get 2 see a lot of people I wanted was way 2 rushed.

we should be having a class renoiun this summer...right?

cant wait to read bout your trip.

Cheeky said...

I am glad to see you had a good time in spite of Betty's bitchiness!

KrazyMom said...

Sorry I missed ya. Next time I promise to drive up and have a drink!

Too bad Betty was misbehaving. Is she being sent to boot camp....or are you keeping her?

Katie said...

Sadly 32 is balmy to the gadgillion below we've been having.

pack of 2 said...

If you have a Verizon cell phone you can have GPS on your phone. I have it & it works great.

Sadly, I haven't named it.

Flip Flop Momma said...

yea, I didnt let Betty ruin our time;)

I grounded her....Right now hubby has her in south dakota, thats puinshment enough in my eyes.

yes, i better c ya next ime;)

very true isnt it..

well u best name it..

I do have GPS on my phone, but...its not great.

Jessica Foster said...

Well when she misbehaves call her UGLY Betty!!!

Hell today feels balmy compared to recent days. I was outside at recess for 2 hours and I wasn't even that cold. I guess I'm a true Minnesotan!

You do realize you're hilarious and shit, right?

Tom said...

I guess sometimes a road atlas works. Glad you and Steph are back OK!

GeL (Emerald Eyes) said...

Hey, Hi! I feel at home. Named your GPS! I can't sing, but I'm an artist... no not weird- that's everyone else!

Anywhoo, I'm a longtime reader of Cliff's, Ralph's, and Rachel's blogs among other terrific bloggers on these lists. I've been getting to know Nora and trying to systematically meet other mutal bloggers (that's whose link I jumped from to plop here) so when Blogstock comes around, you all be more familiar.

The name of your blog alone intrigues me. Makes me think of the beach! Glad you got home safely. Liked the photo of you and your friends.

Flip Flop Momma said...

we were calling her every name in the book...she is lucky she still has a pulse.

I cant read a owuldna got me nowhere, maybe new hampshire or somehting..

Flip Flop Momma said...

opps I missed u..

thanks for stopping over...

I love all those blogs too..Blogstock is gonna rule..

thanks for stopping by..I will be sure to stop by and see u;)

Scarlet said...

You were at a bar with your dad and your lesbian girl friend? Those pictures are going to be good! Welcome home! It's good to have you back.

icanseeclearlynow said...

you are HILARIOUS! seriously. i'm loving your gps story AND your text messaging-while-driving pal you beat and left for dead. lol!

welcome back!



Fantastagirl said...

I think Betty needs to be reprogrammed or something...naughty, naughty...

Glad you had a safe trip.

Neurotic1 said...

See what happens when you take a trip home without me! Just give ol' Betty a good knockin' around and she should work better next time! Glad you made him home safe and sound ;)

Yarn Tails said...

Welcome home! Glad you made it safely. Maybe Betty was PMSing she took it out on you.. LOL ;)

Have a great week!

Chels-Puddle Jumper said...

I don't trust those GPS thingies...I know I'd end up driving over a damn canyon if I put all my trust in one. You're a brave soul.
Glad you got there and back in one piece, and you got to spend some quality time with the fam.

Wendy said...

Maybe I should name my soon to be ex Betty. He is quite bitchy and has led me to hell and back. Anyhoo...glad you made it back in one piece. Waiting on those pictures!

Bradley's Mom said...

Hi FF!

So glad you are back. You were sorely missed!!!

Sorry your trip got kinda messed up.......I hope you at least enjoyed having a little break!

Looking forward to more pictures and posts from you!! We ALL missed you, for sure!!


Humincat said...

awwwww, HMM!!! She looks so perty, I miss her. And can't wait to hear more.

Cliff said...

I may be sick too. I thought this all rather uplifting. Funny stuff BB.

Flip Flop Momma said...

sorry I have been missing again...

Not sure when I will get the other pics up, as OCG has them on her camera..

Thanks for your comments..I will be back later.

Yippeeskip said...

Holy shit you were missed. Welcome back! WTF is blogstock?

1 plus twins said...

omg, i was just thinking of half moma!! how is she doing?? i have been so worried about her. next time you talk to her let her know she is in my prayers. i am sorry you had a not so great trip. make sure you update your gps on line cuz they don't always have the latest and newest info. it can be a pain. sorry your little one is sick. my twins have colds and i have broncitis. i feel like shit but still going to work to infect and cough all over my boss!! ha ha

patti_cake said...

Glad you had your visit anyway even if it was cut short and Betty was a bitch LOL
I am so glad to see HMM, she looks GREAT!

Chels-Puddle Jumper said...

OMG Bossy, I SWEAR to you, your "twin" lives here in Cincinnati. I just about went up to give this lady a big fat hug and scream, "Flip-Flop Momma! Bossy! It's me! Chels, Puddle Jumper! From Blog-land!"

But there were two things wrong with the picture...she didn't talk with your Northern accent, and she sure as hell didn't have your cute little kids with her. Her kids were WAY less cuter than yours.

I was so disappointed. I thought I had run into a blogger-pal. Of course, the whole Ohio and Minnesota not being the same state thing was the real tip-off, too.

I know that woman thought I was some crazy wacked out person...I just kept staring at her. I swore it was you!

Kelly said...

My boss named her GPS "Jill". I think Betty is much better, but that's my Mom's name, and she has no sense of direction whatsoever. Hey, maybe that fits in light of this story - your GPS is haunted by my MOM! LOL

Flip Flop Momma said...

thanks..Glad someone missed me;)

she is doing good, didnt get 2 spend much time with her though.

Betty is still on my shit list;)

Nope, I didnt even g thru Ohio @ all on my trip..unless of course Bettyreally took me off course;)


Flip Flop Momma said...

thanks..Glad someone missed me;)

she is doing good, didnt get 2 spend much time with her though.

Betty is still on my shit list;)

Nope, I didnt even g thru Ohio @ all on my trip..unless of course Bettyreally took me off course;)


Flip Flop Momma said...

my dads GPS is Jill too...mine didnt ocme with a name, so I just gave her one..

Tell your mom to get the heck outta my GPS, I bought to dig her a grave..hehe