Sunday, January 11, 2009

we're not gonna take it

I will make this short and sweet, as to save you time on reading worthless crap.

I am so damn stressed out right now, I cant even think straight. I have been spending more time then I should at the gym, just to get out of this house before there is bloodshed of any kind.

My 5 year old never stops talking, even in the bathroom she talks when she is sleeping she talks.. it never ends, My nearly 12 year doesn't stop fixing his hair and sassing me, my almost 9 year old wont stop being cute, my mother wont stop eating, and my hubs wont put the dishes away.

My dog wont stop barking to go outside, she likes to play in the snow, my cat wont stay off my pillow at night.

Its everyone in this damn house. They are all killing me slowly.

I know when its my time to go its my time to go...so I am prepared.

The year that was suppose to put me first for once, is turning into being the fucking opposite.

And its wearing on whats left of my nerves. Every year I am shoved to the side, because I make sure everyone else is ok and taken care of..I take care of people who don't even live in my house for Gods sake.

I give up...

And I just don't feel close to any of my friends anymore. Hell I don't even call them anymore, or have the need/want to.



Most of my friends only want to talk about themselves, and never ask about whats going on with me...and I never tell them, cause they never ask. Its all about them.

I am drained.

Over the years this has wore me down.

This is me..I am wore down.

Thats all I got.




23 comments:

Jeannie said...

Yup. You have to learn to tune out everyone and go to that happy place in your mind. Tequila helps. The various phases will pass,or not. I withdraw from friends (if I had any) when I feel like crap. No one ever gets that it's those times I need them more. Remember that - when your teenagers get the most quarrelsome and irritating is when they most need a hug. A real one. As for you, you need to start asking for your hugs. Really.

Rocker_MoM said...

Jeannie,
amen to all that!..

we should go out sometime and discuss this..haha

just_tammy said...

Yep, it's all about everyone else...It can't help that you're all trap in the house thanks to the weather. You need to curl up with your karaoke machine since Mr. Shaky is...well, shaky. Hope this week is better.

Humincat said...

HEY! You can't be living my life all the way in bumfuck egypt or wherever it is that you live! That is MY story and if you want it, you can have it, 'cause I'm pretty sick of it.

Lola said...

hey Rocker GIRL
Kudos to you for sharing and for realizing all that s%J^
now time to do something about it
don't be caring what others say or think and if they can't think to tune into you and put you first then you have to show/teach them-for your sanity for sure! Winter doesn't help either does it!
Tomorrow, forget the gym and go get a cinamelt and just enjoy and think and make a plan:)
xo

Rocker_MoM said...

Tam,
the karaoke machine has not been turned on since day after xmas..and i dont see me wanting to turn it on anytime soon..sad huh?

Humincat,
well this has been my life for a couple years now, and I was hoping to get rid of it this year..fuck.

Lola,
I just love u.

Carrie said...

Hang in there - I got nuthin' else to add, but hang in there. Thank you for being honest, and you have to know, you're not alone!

Rocker_MoM said...

thanks carrie!

Meow (aka Connie) said...

Sending hugs ... not sure if it'll help ... but I'm sending them anyway xxx

Lola said...

Cinamelts bring the love honey:)
xo

namaste said...

oh i feel your pain on the "friends." we're in the same boat on that. i've stopped talking on the phone with most of my friends. tired of listening to them talk about themselves and never ask about me. oiy!

parenting can be sooo friggin daunting! it gets better, hon.

KrazyMom said...

Well maybe if you hadn't moved away and left all of the GOOD friends behind, you'd feel a little better about it! You just need to move back this way, that's all there is to it!

You know where to find me if you need to talk! Hell, any adult conversation is more than welcome with me. I can only take preschool talk for so many hours.

Scarlet said...

I know EXACTLY where you're coming from. It's like God took the shielf off and you see everything for what it is.

We just need to move on and do things that make us happy...and delegate. I let my kids do more and more for themselves because for a while there, I did every little thing for every little somebody and it wasn't making anyone happy, especially me.

Hang in there. You know you're not alone. :)

Scarlet said...

PS - That word up there is supposed to be "shield" by the way. ;)

Rocker_MoM said...

Connie,
thanks my dear!

Lola,
roads were too bad, i couldnt leave today..

namaste,
friends suck ass sometimes huh?

Krazy,
the hubs had a doc appt today and it didnt go all that well..I just need a drink..so get in your car, come here and lets go drink till the cows come home.

Scarlet,
I knew what u meant:)

Cliff said...

So would this be a bad time to ask you to pop some popcorn and get me a big glass of iced tea?

Haphazardkat said...

So....How ya doin? :)

I hear ya on the stress thing. Hard to take time for oneself when everyone and their pet cats take up every freakin' minute of the day and night.

I shall think good thoughts your way while I visit my Pale Girl shrine.

Janell said...

You're sure right about one thing - most people only want to talk about themselves. If you need to vent some more, you have my email. HAng in there, Rocker.

Shannon said...

I hear ya!!! All it, the whole thing, it was like you were talking about me!!!! The sassy 11 year old is killing me the most, if you find a way to stop it let me know, lol.

JoeinVegas said...

Hmm, I'm not much good on the phone but feel free to text or email me as much as you want. You can call and I will be glad to keep saying 'uh huh' and just listen.
Here, have a margaritta, put your feet up and I'll get you some cheese and crackers to go with it. Or popcorn? Anything you want.

KrazyMom said...

Hey, that sounds like a plan!

Sorry things are so shitty right now! You know where to find me if ya need to chat!

{{hugs}}

raino said...

ain't life just the shits sometimes.. lol

Monogram Queen said...

Oh honey I tease you alot but you have really gotta take care of YOU. You need a change of scenery. Come down to South Carolina - we'll have a few drinks, you can sing karaoke and all will be right with the world. For awhile..