Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Center of balance


My life is in shrambles. Is that even a word? I don't know, if its not, I am copy writing that bitch.

At least the weather is starting to look up, a little. I thought I saw the sun one day, but that could of been a momentary lapse of reason or some other medical malfunction.

I went and bought a Wii and Wii Fit over the weekend. Like I don't spend enough time doing physical activity. Between the 3 hours a day I spend at the gym, the hours I spend chasing the animals and my 5 year old, and my personal best which is done under lock and key in my nice king size bed, but thats another story..

According to this Wii Fit thing, I am 44 years old, simply because I can not maintain a good center of balance. how do they know I don't suffer from some sort of balance disorder, and them telling me I am 44 just set me off to the roof top. Do they care?

I'm thinking not.

I masted a couple of the activities, like Hoola Hoops..( I have some hot hip action, don't be hatin).

I rather like the bowling. The Hubs and I were playing and I swear to God he puts such force in his throw u swear he is holding a 20 pound ball. I tell him that he needs to take it easy before he pulls something. You are indeed not really holding a ball my dear, so back off before you clock me in the face.

I kicked his ass at tennis, bowling and of course, the hoola hoops. I am that good.

Ok, I have another gym story, I know how you guys love that shit, and I like to deliver. I am a people pleaser.

So I am at the gym, and this really nice looking guy is on the bike.(i dont know why all the crazies are good looking)just come off of my 45 minute run on the treadmill and am heading towards the bikes for a 20 minute ride..

All the good stuff happens at the bike area, I have noticed that.

Anyway, he has a remote and is surfing, and we all know I hate surfing. he lands on one of those religious channels. thats all fine and good, I don't care, I don't watch anyway..

After a while I think I start hearing things from his mouth, but since my Ipod is up kinda loud, I am not sure. So I turn it down a bit so I can listen.

Sure enough, its what I thought I heard..

"hallelujah"..Praise Jesus"

Yup, out loud, in the gym.

Not that there is anything wrong with that, it was just kinda distracting...because the only person who knew he was watching that was me..cause you can not hear it unless you are wearing the ear plugs for the tv..

before too long he is shouting to the Lord Almighty and praising his works..

while biking.

We both got done around the same time, when he was done I walked by him to get the spray to clean off my bike..we meet at the paper towel station.

He says..

" nothing like a good workout with the Lord"

"yup, sure enough,,shalom my friend"

He says..

"right on sexy"

so we go from praising Jesus, to sexual harassment.

And I liked it.

Amen

29 comments:

Southern Sage said...

haaaaaaaaaaa
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!

and I liked it made me pee my hotel bed!
haaaaaaaaaaaaa

Humincat said...

Maybe the lack of sunlight in your town in starting a bad epidemical outbreak of crazies? That was some funny picturing though, good story.

Tom said...

Ok...finally did it...sprayed coffee from my mouth onto the monitor at work

Scarlet said...

Remember: it's only sexual harrassment if you don't find him attractive. ;)

PS - I love your gym stories! OMG! I wish I could go with you next time.

Rocker_MoM said...

SS,
dont wet your wranglers buddy!

Humincat,
that could be it!

Tom,
well clean it up!

Scarlet,
Thats true, if he woulda been fugly, mighta had to cap his knees!

I would love for u to go with me too:)

Jeannie said...

ha!

Kim Ladd said...

OMG - there is nothing like starting my morning out with a good read by the rocker mom!!! That is some seriously funny shit!!

JoeinVegas said...

Right arm sexy - well, at least he is intelligent and observant.

metalmom said...

"and I liked it"

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Now I must change my shirt. It don't look good with cocoa down the front of it!

Jennybean said...

hehe....

how about this tropical heat wave!

XoXo Meg! said...

I just found you and thank goodness! Okay, I am loving this blog already!

Rocker_MoM said...

Jeannie
:)

Kim,
u just wanna be me dont u?..I know your jeolous of all my gym fiascos.

Joe,
do u go to my gym?..haha

Metalmom,
dont send me the cleaning bill.

jenny,
its damn nice huh?

Meg,
aww, thanks sugar.

IamDerby said...

Man there are not nearly enough crazies at my gym!

Monogram Queen said...

I am firmly convinced you have joined the "Weirdo Gym" Ha Haaaa!!!

I love Wii and don't feel bad - I am like 72 years old ~shut it~

cathouse teri said...

That is a hilarious story! Sexy. :)

Cliff said...

Sorta brings everything back into balance doesn't it. Like adding a +.5 and a -.5.
Right sexy?

Rocker_MoM said...

Derby,
your not going to the right gym!

Patti,
thats why I fit in so nice.

Teri,
muaw!

Cliff,
did u want me to spray dt coke outta my mouth? was that your intention? Gawd how I love u Cliff:-)

raino said...

now that's a laugh. that's almost as weird as the fella that asked me if i was interested in breeding his dog! all the strangoooos must hang out at the gym

Sheri said...

Praise Jebus Sexy Wow Wow

Cat said...

Still as bloody funny as ever.. Missed you.

JoJo

Rocker_MoM said...

raino,
ok, now thats damn funny!

Sheri,
right on!

Cat,
bless your cotton socks!

Dan said...

What a freak!! And so is the guy at the gym. hey I finally linked ya on my blog, I'm a slacker, I link one person a year.

Callie said...

Holy Cheez and Crakerz THAT was funny.LOL

Hey Sexy wanna praise and cycle?

Lurve it! Missed reading your works while I have been having my midlife crisis.

peace~ or is it shalom? hehehehe

~callie

Humincat said...

Tag!

Haphazardkat said...

what is it with work out freaks and jesus addiction??

This is why I choose to worship Pale Girl while chomping my 10lb bag of cheetos and washing it down
with a Mojito.

*burp*

Amen.

Jen - Queen of Poo said...

LOL! I am missing some big fun by working out at home instead of the gym. Man.

The Doozie said...

you should have asked him if he wanted to get together back at your apartment and read the Good Book and smoked a little weed

Jamie Dawn said...

Praaaaise the Lord, Sister Sexy!!
How funny! That's pretty strange to be shouting the glory down in the public gym.

Shrambles is not a word, but shambles is.

I played Wii Fit when we were in St. Louis this past summer. Bowling was fun, and I liked baseball too.
You really do work out a lot. I bet you are in marvelous shape!
:-)

Shannon said...

That was truly hilarious!!! Tell your hubs he is going to suffer from what we old pros call "Wii Arm"..... but he probably already knows that. It is when you can't lift your entire arm above a certain point without pain. It comes after the bowling, tennis, and baseball, among other things.