Thursday, January 01, 2009

New Sensation

So, I thought I would wake up today and feel something...besides a hangover, but I feel nothing..not even a hangover.
I was glad to see 2008 leave, as I feel as though it was a very bad year. Not in the sense that I lost any loved ones, or hell that I lost anything, but shit loads of money, but thats neither here nor there..

I just wanted to wake up and feel something. For the last several weeks I thought for sure that 2009 would be my year, I could just feel it.

Alas, I feel nothing.

I know you have to make your own luck and your own happiness, yes yes, I know that. I was just hoping for something to fall out of the sky, land on my face, lick me, and call me George.
So far, it has been a quiet start to the new year.

I do however want to make some changes this year...and sure I will indulge you with some of them, because that's how I roll.
* First up, I want to change my attitude as I tend to have a shitty one, and I know this. But really how do you change something you were born with. And God wants me to be a bitch, and I don't know why.
*Next, I want to make more time for myself..I do not want to do things just to please others..I will no longer take "vacations" to my homeland, because frankly, its like a waste of a vacation. No one else takes a vacation here, so why do I need to go there?..I don't..My kids will go on a real vacation this year..damnit.

although I am going in June for my class reunion, my 16th year reunion, don't ask..But if it was not for that event, we would not be going at all.

*I want to hit the gym at least 4 days a week...maybe 8 days a week..I don't know, we will see how tired I get.
* I would love this year to get a boob job, a nose job and lipo on my ankles..

I don't foresee me succeeding at any of this..So that right there lets you all know I have a bleak start.

Lets talk about Christmas shall we?...One good thing did transpire, my FIL did not come..I did not ask why, because frankly we were both so relieved that we did not care..

Lets see, what else..
Oh I did get my very own karaoke machine..yes yes...I did..

I will just shower you with a couple shots..

See. I did not drag the fuckin tree out to the road like I wanted..but when I set it back up after its fall, I just threw all the crap on it, at this point I was so not in a holiday mood I coulda gave a crap less..and it shows.

The mess afterward...and we all know this bitch has messes.
We will fast forward to New Years, because truthfully, there is not much to report on from xmas day till now..

Other then my hubs has been home since Xmas Eve, and it makes me wonder how when we both hit retirement age, how i will not kill him when we are forced to be together all day everyday..

I'm just sayin..

Anyway, on to New Years..I had a small gathering at my dwelling with a couple close pals and my lovely personality.

My boy and my boo..

My boy and my Blondie

Pale Girl with my girl tots and my mother on her lap...

We broke out the DDR and here is Hubs doin his best to get some sort of grove on, my mother is on the couch watching..

See. who says white boys cant dance?...see me, I am planted firmly on the couch with my friend barb..right where we should be...we are not making asses of ourselves.

There is my Boo and Pale Girls man and his big ass dog..

Look all my babies are tuckered out..wussies.
The night was pretty dull, I really did no drinking, was in a bad mood and was super tired..One thing that did happen though, when hubs and I went up to bed, my son came running up asking if we were moving furniture.
And NO we were not naked and doing anything X rated...
The boy said he heard some loud noises so he went down to check it out..
When the hubs got downstairs he looked out our side window and there was a man in our yard walking away from the door and our garage door was open.
So of course this bitch could not sleep after that because holy shit, a level 3 sex offender just moved to town and I was sure it musta been him wanting to get his rapist hands on me because he musta seen me outside or somewhere and thought maybe he needed to tap that.
But I do know, because I do have inside info at the jail, that he is under constant supervision and is living at the jail and is only let out 4 hours a day and that is to find a job, and if this fucker gets a job before I do, holy shit I will foam at the mouth.
But a level 3 sex offender is someone who they are sure will strike again and this is why they keep a watchful eye on them.
I have heard he is not a pedophile, but rather he likes to rape women..
Now try and go to sleep after a strange man is in your yard and there is a sex offender on the loose..
Sweet Dreams assholes..
Oh and my finger..
I sliced it open on a piece of glass from a picture frame..sliced the bitch wide open and even sliced thru my digital nerve so now I have no feeling in that finger.
I had three stitches put in, they are out now and all is well..
This is a special bonus we will be doing from here on out...Blondie got this book for Xmas, its called 1001 horrid but true facts, and I thought for shits and giggles I would post two facts per post..
it will take us years to get thru it, but hell, all I have is time.
*the stomach acid in your stomach is so strong it can dissolve razor blades, but its still not a good idea to eat them.
*A beef tapeworm,caught from eating eggs in infected beef, can grow to 39 feet long in the human gut.


Krystal said...

Level 3 sec offenders should NEVER be allowed out because they WILL rape again! The only reason he IS out is because MEN make the laws.

Personally, I know a few men around here who would hunt his ass down and kill him, making sure the body would NEVER be found!

That aside, you really could accomplish something off your list this year. Just pick ONE, ONE ITEM, and work at it. You just can't let things be that bleak.

Congrats on the karaoke machine. You'll never do laundry again... LOL!

Haphazardkat said...

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSLICK!! "George George George of the Blogland"...

There. New Years Wish granted!

And the Mom on top of Pale girl?


Thanks for makin' my New Years!

Rocker_MoM said...

I know...the only thing that is getting me thru knowing this man is out there, is knowing he spends most of the day surrpunded by cops...and even that is no comfort!

I knew u would enjoy that!

Tutu said...

You know there are just things better left unknown. Hope the book doesn't cause nightmares for Blondie--but at least it will give her ideas to write school papers about.

Rocker_MoM said...

My Blondie is an odd child, she loves that kinda shit, thats why santa got it for her:)

Jen - Queen of Poo said...

DDR and a karaoke machine. Everything you need to party!

Happy new year, and your boobs are fine just how they are.

Humincat said...

I swear, all I heard was:

"Sweet Dreams assholes..Oh and my finger.."

I had to read it three times to make sure you weren't wishing sweet dreams to assholes and your finger.

Well, on that note, Happy New Year, assholes and all!

Scarlet said...

If that sex offender gets a job before both of us, I'LL be foaming at the mouth! (I loved that line, btw...classic YOU!) ;)

Happy New Year, girl friend! Keep your fingers away from sharp objects and sing your heart out on that karaoke machine!

Rocker_MoM said...

all thats missing is u...u need to come and belt out tunes and dance with us...u know u wanna.

looks like u covered all of it:)

Happy new u 2 u 2 my dear!

and I am tryin my best to stay clear of the sharp things, I am kinda scared straight now;)

KrazyMom said...

I wouldn't have been able to sleep after that either. Hopefully it was a harmless man that just got too drunk and couldn't find his way back home. Where was that guard dog of yours? Hiding in the closet again?

Rocker_MoM said...

I think my dog had partied 2 much and was sleeping somewhere..useless damn dog!

Anonymous said...

You are too funny! Sounds like you had a nice Christmas and New Year's Eve. I don't feel anything either with this new year and it did seem like I should have. Glad I'm not the only one!

Karaoke!! You must have been very very good this year!! I know this is a gift you will enjoy!


Cliff said...

You make it nearly impossible to comment. We've covered just too much ground here.
Hope your hubby goes to work soon.
You and your own karaoke machine. It's like a dream isn't it. I assume this was to keep you home a little more.

Rocker_MoM said...

isnt it a big dissapointement to wake up and feel nothing...?

I just hope it kicks in soon.

the probelem is, I have not left the house in months, I think he is waiting 4 me 2 leave for a while.. Happy New Year my freind!

JoeinVegas said...

Well George, sorry I didn't know about the licking part or I would have visited. (no, wasn't me out in the yard).

Happy New Year.

Southern Sage said...

Damn girl, your local g'ment sux!! You should give them hell, they need mandatory sentences of like, never fuckin get out again!

I'm sure if he saw you he skrocketed you to the top of the list!
He wants to hit that for sure, you're the prize egg!!

Hope your 09 is mo better!!!

just_tammy said...

I shall attempt to make you feel better. Your new year celebration was way more exciting than the one we had here. We watched something - don't know what - on tv from about 11 to midnight and went to bed. The sixteen year old at least went to a party until 10:30. We picked her up since there was no way in heck I was going to let her drive with all the crazies out there. That's why we weren't parked in front of the tv even longer. Oh, hubs did call to say happy new year. Feel better?! If you get inspired, call me and let me know how so if might rub off on me.


you make me laugh , \i know some things are not so funny but it is the way you \'say it\'
your a toughie I tell ya ,I still would be whimpering over that finger LOL

and the prowler ,lets hope he heard you singing earlier and just wanted to use your machine \;-0 SCARY STUFF NO SLEEP INDEED!

enjoyed the pics , your kids are beautiful ,but we know where they get it from !\\MOMMY !


Shannon said...

"Lipo on your ankles", you are too funny!!!

Scary about the dude leaving the yard, WTF?!

IamDerby said...

Level 3 sex offenders should be castrated and then have their dicks wacked off as insurance. Why we try to "rehabilitate" these people is beyond me.

Monogram Queen said...

Okay what the heck was the man doing and why was your garage door open? You can't leave us hanging like this with no answers!
I need closure!