Tuesday, October 21, 2008

sunspot baby

My mom has not even officially moved in yet, and I think I have a raging bleeding ulcer..

I mean raging.

I have been spending the last couple days bagging up up shit to get rid of, and trying to get things in order for her to move in this weekend.

Its too bad you cant do with parents like you do for a stray animal. Take it to the shelter an let them find it a good home.

I have already done more for this woman in the last 15 years then any kid should be asked...And she isn't even in diapers yet..

She has lived with us, I have supported her, I have driven her around for 2 years because she was unable to drive, I have helped her move, put deposits on places, bought her furniture..u name it, I have done it already.

Its like she is totally spoiling her golden years...Because by the time she is senile, I will be so sick of doing this shit, I will take her to the shelter.

Over the last 15 years she done some pretty awful things to me. I will not go into any detail or anything, but there use to be plenty of drama surrounding her..

I need a drink just thinking about it.


Remember during the summer when I was in the homeland and my poor dad crashed into the back of my hot mom wheels?

I mean my mini van.

Well when I left he told me to go get an estimate and he would have it fixed..I have not done that yet.

Mainly because well, its my dad...and well, I don't want his insurance to go up, or have to fork out money..or whatever..

The bitch is startin to rust where it was smashed..

And there is not an auto body in town I trust...they all seem like douche bags..

But everyone here seems like a douche bag to me...

I may just have to drive it to Lincoln, NB and have Cliff son Dan fix it..

He doesn't seem like a douche bag...plus he is cute..and he owns a collision shop.

Can u fit me in?

Now mind u, if my father in law woulda been the one to ram my car, THAT fuckin day I woulda called the police, said a fat bastard hit my car, just plowed his huge back end right up in my ass...repeatedly...oh and he gave me the finger..

And I would of made him fix that shit before I left the state...and I mighta even sued him for damages.

What damages?

Just knowing him...thats damage enough..

He doesn't send my kids real gifts for holidays or birthdays anyway, so its not like I would be taking away from his grand kid fund.

He sends them worthless savings bonds...

Ya no, savings bonds my kids received when they were babies, and are suppose to be mature in 7 years...I have taken to the bank to put into CD's..

Then I have the teller tell me this worthless 50 dollar savings bond aint even worth the 25 bucks an asshat woulda spent on it.

Now I don't have an issue with savings bonds per say..but when its your only token of love to your grand kid..kinda makes u look like a douche bag.

The children know you have put absolutely no thought into a gift for them..

So therefore, I would milk him for all he aint worth just for hitting my car ever so slightly.

Cause that's how I roll.


The other night I watched this movie on HBO, it was called fast food nation.

holy mother of God.

it was very disturbing...I mean it takes a lot to disturb me.

The last ten minutes they showed actual slaughter of cows...

I totally didn't see that coming..I was caught off guard.

Now I know people make a living killing and slaughtering animals so we can eat them.

But its something I do not need to be seeing...

I mean they showed them skinning it, slitting its throat, gutting it...

and at the end they showed a bucket full of cow heads missing skin and and muscles, with its eyeballs staring up at you.

They need to put a fuckin disclaimer on that shit...before they started the cattle prodding and throat slitting, they shoulda said..

all u peeps who might find the slaughter of a cow a tad disturbing, go take a crap, by the time u are done, we should be done killing stuffff.

but they didn't..

and I saw it..

And I was in such shock, I couldn't even move to turn the channel..I was frozen.

So next time, you film makers with the fucked up minds...warn a girl next time u start butchering shit..mmmkay?


Sarah said...

Is it irony that you speak of ur mom and father in law in the post as slaughtering cows???

I've heard about that documentary but have never had the nuts to watch it. After reading this I think I will pass!!!

Flip Flop Momma said...

its not even a documtary..i dont think..its has greg kinear, bruce willis, patrica arqutte, the guy from that 70's show..ethan hawk..

i thought it was just a regular movie, it was not in documtar form or i woulda been fore warned..haha

and nice call on the other...your paying attention:)

u get a gold star:)

Jennybean said...

I think the point is to make you see it.. if we were warned, we wouldn't watch and the point of the show would be lost...

That being said, I am a farm girl, so just try and gross me out...

Flip Flop Momma said...


those kinda things dont normally gross me out..I have a high tolerance 4 weird shit..

but that just kinda threw me;)

Jen - Queen of Poo said...

Eh, cow guts don't phase me. My sister and I used to watch animals being slaughtered for entertainment at my grandparents farm. An afternoon of chicken butchering was BIG fun. Animals are tasty. :-D

Tom said...

Bossy, I can't fix the van or do anything about your mom, but I can treat to lunch when I get there, your choice of place.

Monogram Queen said...

I hope it works out with your Mom staying with you. I thought you & she were pretty tight. Had no idea of that bad stuff.
I DID however know how you feel about your FIL. Some poor kiddos just get ripped off in the g-parents dept. Glad your kids have YOU and Mr. Shaky!

Mrs. K said...

I can't imagine...I'm lucky though since my whole entire mother's side to include my mother has been completely chopped off my life, I have nothing to worry about. Except that i recently met my aunt again and on our second visit she starting humming and hawing about not being able to find a job here in the states- my answer? (very warm and sincerely of course) then go back to the island, what are you doing here if you can't get a job?

Her face was priceless- and I guess that came out of left field...but shit she and everyone else turned their back on me when I most needed it so....don't look here.

Flip Flop Momma said...

i dont mind eatint them, i just dont wanna see their demise;)

thanks, but i dont even think that would cure it.

well, my mother and i have been thru some rough times...because she can be crazy..haha

mrs k,
what island?..maybe i can send my people there too;)

Scarlet said...

I just got done eating (thank God it was seafood!). I don't like disturbing scenes in movies either...like the time Samuel L. Jackson has some guy's guts on his face and hair in Pulp Fiction...I don't need to see that!!

As for your mom, I guess there's a lot we don't know. Taking her to the shelter...that's worse than the shed idea. I have to give you credit for creativity. I would've never thought of these things...and I threaten my parents all the time (jokingly of course) about what awaits them in their golden years. "Be nice or else..." They laugh...now. ;)

Cliff said...

Yer Mom's moving in? fun.
You're starting on taking care of people...you might as well become a republican.
I taped a sheet of paper over the right side of your blog so I didn't have to see Al. He does the same to me that slaughtering cows does to you.

Flip Flop Momma said...

oh yeah, I really hate that movie pulp fiction, I dont need to be seein that shit..

well, i aint taken care of her, i will be damned if im wipen her behind or cookin her breakfast..damn..

ok, only two more weeks and i will take al down...just 4 u, cause i love u and thats how i roll.

Haphazardkat said...

...I had a hamburger for lunch.
*pats my belly and burps a delicate girl burp*
I thank the bucket head cows for their contribution.

Must go curl up with my hello kittys now....

KrazyMom said...

Wow, now I hate hamburger even more!

I was just complaining about not having any relatives that live near us. After reading your post I realize, maybe I should count my blessings!

Hang in there!

The Doozie said...

Cows are fuckin stupid. On that note I think I'll go Q up a juicy steak. Don't let those agenda toting little bastards turn you off from the god given right to Q juicy steaks. DAMMIT

You think that's bad? I opened up this catalogue I got in the mail for Pets Christmas gifts. And what to my unholy eyes appeared? They are now cuting the snouts off the pigs and smoking them in order for your household pets to gnaw on them for pleasure. Now if that ain't screwed up I don't know what its...hey, throw fido a snout!!

The Doozie said...

On another note, Jennybean that is probably the weirdest avatar picture I've ever seen, I had to enlarge it to see what it was and then I was like...huh? ;)

~Jobthingy~ said...

jesus. i was gonna watch that movie and was too tired to sit thru the whole thing so i decided against it.. now i am glad i did :|

i hear the book skinny bitch is awful like that also... to the point that it turned my friend into a non meat eater :-O

Jamie Dawn said...

Oh my, you are a saint to have your mother moving in with you after years of YOU acting more like HER mother. I hope she loves and appreciates you very much. If not, you might need to slap her around until she grovels at your angelic feet.


I hope it is not too stressful for you.
Remember there's always valium and various muscle relaxants and marijuana and booze... but of course, you already KNOW about all that stuff!!


I saw Fast Food Nation. That last part was hitonious, but it didn't make me stop eating meat. I am a carnivore.

So, I take it your FIL is not on your list of Favorite People. Would it hurt him to buy your kids some toys too, also, as well??!! Kids like STUFF!

Our car is in the hospital racking up an enormous bill for us, so I can't feel sorry about your bohunkus ramming. I'm sure Cliff's son would do a good job fixing it for you though if you took it to Nebraska.


Flip Flop Momma said...

sorry peeps, been busy..

yesterday i went to a rally in the city 4 al franken and hillary was there...it was busy..she wore a sexy pant suit.

i spent time handing out shit to people..my dogs are tired..

had 200 repulicans come to us and explain to us how they were voting democrat this year..i was floored.

pleased, but floored.

and yes i still eat the meat, im just traumatized by what i saw..haha

i wont be around much, im doing lots of things 4 the election and stuff..im in need..

so until this is over, i will be scarce..

sorry i have not been by blogs, i just dont have time right now, plus im helping mom move in..ugg, just a ton of shit goin on..

love to all..

Anonymous said...

Any first signs of blood and I'm on that remote like a fly on shit... I can't watch that kinda thing.

Regarding the bond giving asshat. Fuck'm.

I hope you're able to keep your cool and calm.

If not, I look forward to hearing about it. You tell drama so well!

catscratch said...

Yah... that anonymous commenter.... that's me. I'm a moron.

Caffeine Court said...

Okay, I'm not watching Fast Food Nation. So sad. No wonder I prefer pasta to red meat.

You are such a good daughter. Karma will reward you.

JoeinVegas said...

Well, one thing for us is with your mom there you will have a lot more stories to put here for us to read.

Dan said...

As I look out the window of my office into the shop to see if we have room for ya, I see a 86 chevy pickup with mudflaps that say "Nebraska is Cattle Country." It's true, there are a thousand ways to make their gruesome deaths taste delicious down here!

Flip Flop Momma said...

that shit dont normally bother me when i know its fake, they totally duped me;)

Caffine Court,
i would prefer pasta as well, but will eat a nice juicy burger at Ruby Tuesday;)

i promise i wont dissapoint.

so does this mean u can fit me in?..haha

yeah, a good burger is nice..(i dont like steak or anything made with ground beef, other then a juicy burger)

but i just didnt need to see it..if i wanted to see cows be butchered, I woulda married a farmer;)

Southern Sage said...

I'm surprised that disturbed you. Who cleans y'alls game when you kill it??

me im 2 lazy to log in said...

well only game Im killing is what i hit with my mini van...

I will eat it, but this bitch aint killin it..

I may not even cook it, but I will eat it..

so u need to hunt me some animals, kill em, skin em, grind em, processes them, and send it here;0

thats how that works:)

Krystal said...

When some animals get old, they put it to sleep instead of taking it to a shelter...

I kill, clean and dress chickens. Just thought I'd share.

Shannon said...

Also a farm girl, so the cow stuff doesn't phase me. It happens. We have to eat, that is what God put animals on the Earth for.
Feeling for you and the mom situation. We take care of my father-in-law the same way. He asks for money, and eats supper here. I go to the bank and the store for him. The only thing that hasn't happened yet, is him moving in. Just a matter of time. He is our fifth son, lol.

Flip Flop Momma said...

so maybe they will put her down?..teehee

now what does dress em mean?...I know u kill em, I am still waiting 4 the piutre;)

I could never live on a farm...Not just 4 that reason, but I mean, u have to do shit..and I dont like doing shit..

Lola said...

You HAVE to set boundaries with your momma when she gets there.