Friday, October 17, 2008

The heart of rock and roll

Its been a rough couple days. My tots do not have school today, nor did they yesterday. And no, its not because we had a snow storm. Damn people.

So they have been bugging me for things like food, drink, and clean underwear.

I think one of my tots has been in their jammies since Thursday morning, and you know what I say? Good, because thats less washing of clothes I have to do.

I don't think my girls have brushed their hair either. As I glance over at them, I think I can see a small mammal living in each kids head.

but damn, their teeth are clean.


On a serious note, I have another raging damn yeast infection...I know...over share right?

I just like keeping you up to date on my vaginal health.

I think I caught it early, because it just kinda itches and burns with the wrath of one million bee stings and skeeter bites, instead burning like the firey pits of hell.

In my life I have never had so many...I didn't have my first one till I was in my 20's..and I wanted to die..I thought I was dying.

But I think I caught this one before I tore up the area trying to stop the itching...

I know...over share..

Its my pills I think....well thats what my doctor says, and she is smart..cause she is a she.


So, anyway...moving right along...

Tomorrow is my dads birthday. I don't see my dad but twice a year, and it may dwindle down to once a year, cause I just cant afford the trip there anymore...and people choose not to come here for some reason, guess they figure I should be the only one to waste money on trips....thing is, i think I wasted all mine...the well is dry and there is a family of field mice living in it now.

And if I don't find a job that pays me what I am worth, which is at least 6 figures, I wont be doing any traveling ever..

Back to my story, I got side tracked...I do that alot.

Saturday is my dads birthday...I sent him a card last week..cause I'm a good daughter

I found out last week that not only is October 18th the day my dad burst thru the seams of my grandmother, but it is also the day Zac Efron was burst thru the seems of a beautiful fairy to bring joy to all the middle aged women who basically have no life outside watching HSM....

that would be me.

I know some of you would say I am not middle aged, that possible my dad being 54 now is middle aged...Sure he is..but I am too...

I went thru my mid-life crisis about 3 years ago, and you cant have a mid life crisis unless your mid life. Right?

So I was in my early 30's, so this means I will be dead any time now.
I'm OK with that, cause its not like I can enjoy anything, cause I never have any damn money.

I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to buy Halloween candy..I'm thinking of breaking open my bottle of TUMS and telling the kids they are sweet tarts.

Anyway, shit I'm getting sidetracked alot, must be my over production of yeast.

So its Zac's birthday Saturday...shit, I mean my dads....

My dad has never seen me do karaoke, when I use to do it back home, I never told anyone I was doing it, cause wasn't cool...

Never even brought up the word to anyone...ever..

But here, there is so little to do, and so many drunk people, it kinda all goes hand in hand.

Every time I am home I try to find a place to do it, and I try to drag him, but he says he needs to go to bed cause he is like old and shit...

so I thought I would bring the karaoke to him...

I made some songs yesterday and will add more today for his listening pleasure. My dad and I basically have the same taste in music, only mine is a touch better..

I mean The Who, Neil Young?..get outta the 60's dad....

Someday my kids will have this same intervention with me, telling me to get outta the 80's, but I like it here.

And if you think I'm funny, you should try and have one conversation with him. I inherited his funny bone and his wit for sarcasm...

SO if you don't like me, you wont like him and frankly, we both don't care...


My dad and I went to two Def Leppard shows together when I was a teen...

When I got older I bought him tickets to an Elton John show and we went...just him and I...Then the next year we went and seen Billy Joel and Elton John together..I took my hubs to that one, he just sat and read a book..

which is better then what he did at the last Prince concert I took him too...wanna know what hubs did?..

he slept..yes he fucking slept...he totally missed sheila E..he totally missed everything, he slept, in his chair....fucking slept..

So anyway, got side tracked again..

I have brought the karaoke to him...

now when u listen, u hear two voices, thats cause i am harmonizing...with myself...cause two is better then one...

I will be adding more songs today, cause well, I have nothing better to do.

And plus, it bugs the shit outta my tots when I do it.

So, I hope Zac and my dad have a great birthday...

If anyone wants to wish either one a happy birthday, go ahead...

And don't feel sorry for my dad, he has a 30 year old wife and a plasma screen TV that is bigger then one wall in my house...and a good set of golf clubs..

Thats all any man needs..


Jen - Queen of Poo said...

I like it in the eighties too. My mom came to karaoke with me once. She stayed for a couple of my songs and then went home to bed. She listens to me on Singsnap too, though.

metalmom said...

"breaking open my bottle of TUMS and telling the kids they are sweet tarts."
*wiping away tear*

Hubs fell asleep in the middle of a Genesis concert.I was furious. I bought the damn tickets for HIS birthday! I shoulda told him not to smoke that ... herbal cigarette...yeah, that's what it was!

catscratch said...

Happy B-day Daddy & Zac!!!!

I can't find you on singsnap. I even created an account :( WTF?

I'm always stuck in the 80s, and my kiddies are over it already!

Flip Flop Momma said...

my mom goes with me every wed..haha..we have fun.

i dont let anyone listen on singsnap...just u guys, and now my dad..hehe

i love Genesis...i saw Phil Collins in 91 and it was AMAZING..

rocker_mom is my name on sing link should just take u there..

just_tammy said...

Sorry to hear you are a bit yeasty. Just to make you feel better, I stood in another stupid line to mail your little gift. It should be there by Tuesday according to the clerk. You better ding dang darn appreciate the thing after all this.

Tell your Dad and Zac happy birthday. Does Zac know he has a 30 something stalker?

just_tammy said...

Oh, how the heck did your hubby sleep through a Prince concert?! Did you hear everyones' cell phones were messing with his sound system last weekend? The stupid people were refusing to turn them off!

Flip Flop Momma said...

im not a stalker, im a follower;)

what are u sending?...dont send me anything, it aint my birthday...

WHo dare mess with his sound?...damn..i had not heard that

just_tammy said...

If you got the odd phone message (since I didn't want to take the time to write a note), you will know it's a funny little something that reminded me of you that you can use for grown up things so no one will know you are a 30 something follower. Yeah, I know it's not your birthday or Christmas, but some times you just need a just because present.

KrazyMom said...

I remember going to my first rock concert (Poison) and my BIL fell asleep too. I am lucky to have a hubby that can 'rock it out' with me! LOL!

If you cared at all, you would have come to MI to see your pa and hang out with your old hometown friends.....geesh!

Flip Flop Momma said...


oh u left a message? machine is in the basement, so I rarely go down to listen cause well, im gonna have to go listen now.

I know right?....

but now with certain circumstances happening here in my house, i may HAVE to go there in decemebr 4 the parade, just to keep my sanity..

will explain all in good time;)

The Doozie said...

oh goodness...gracious....good heavens to betsy?

what? did you say something?
i'm sorry...I wasn't paying attention.oh wait, you said you want a job. aren't you going to a school to learn how to cut hair?

Haphazardkat said...

ARGH! I was lost in the land of singsnap...
Never did find you :(

Southern Sage said...

I sure hope your lil stuff gets mo better
it sounds bad
I say eat yogurt!
cause I know about these things!

Scarlet said...

I couldn't listen to your songs for some reason. :(

I love the joke about the bread with the yeast infection, but I liked your Tums joke better! lol

Happy Birthday to your dad and your boy toy. I can't believe your hubby fell asleep at a Prince concert. I would DIE for him!

IamDerby said...

I am so sorry about the invasion of yeast... it may be an over share but it hurts like hell... so you have my deepest sympathies.

Monogram Queen said...

I hope it was a great one for your Dad AND Zac!!!

Janell said...

I'm sending a belated happy birthday wish to your dad.

And to Zac.

Janell said...

And don't worry about the kods still in their pj's. A messy kid is a happy kid.