Monday, October 06, 2008

Sunday, bloody Sunday

I have done some pretty sweet things in my lifetime thus far..

Like travel 12 states in one summer, go to Niagara falls countless times, fly on a plane, meet many famous people, follow Def Leppard around every summer, dance on stage with Everclear, have random teen sex, been a groupie, wrote some pretty funny things for some pretty awesome things, partied like it was 1999, given natural childbirth three dang times..

the list goes on and on...not to brag, but I mean seriously..

But nothing is like seeing this..

This is my son walking from the field of a football game..Doesn't he look all bad ass and shit?

He is just so dang cute in his big pads and shit....

Even with the big pads, and his um...cup...he still comes home with blood and dirt all over his self...and most times he is unaware of who the blood belongs too..

Now when I am watching him out in the field, I admit, I have no damn clue whats going on. All I know is he is dropping kids like flies...

Aww, nothing beats that...

I should read up on the rules and what nots of the game I am watching...but that takes work.

All I know is he can tackle kids twice his size..

He cant throw or catch worth a shit, but damn it, his years of pummeling his sisters has finally paid off.

I had a pretty quiet weekend. got a little tipsy on Friday and I had a quickie.

get your mind outta the gutter.

Before I had my quickie, at the first bar we went to they had drink buy one get one free...

So b4 nine pm I downed 6 diet cokes with Cherry I was feeling sick..

thats too much to drink in a short 30 minutes..

not good, im lucky i wasnt passed out with my skirt shoved over my head and my crotch all exposed on the grass..

now onto the quickie.

its not that kinda quickie, I only had sex Sunday night, not on Friday..damn..

A quickie is this..

a shot of wiskey

a shot of rum

a shot of something else i cant recall...

all in one shot glass...a big shot glass.

and it was not good...not good at all.

It tasted sorta like how imagine warm horse piss with a touch of acid would taste.

I saw my life flash before my eyes...the room was spinning and my throat was burning.

Then I had a strawberry shooter...never had?

you poor poor fools.

its a strawberry with its innards scraped out and replaced with tequila rose and topped with whipped cream.

it was like I had died and gone to alcoholics heaven.

they were a buck a berry..

I had 15.

it was my fruit intake for the weekend.

So that was Friday..

Saturday I had Pale Girls daughters 16th birthday party at my house.

Not sure what i was thinking letting a bunch of teenagers run rampid in my yard and house.

See look...

My poor Boo is caught in the middle...there is no return..

Then they kidnapped Blondie....sure they look harmless and like they are having fun..

then look, one tries to leave with my tiny baby boo tot..

I don't think she woulda got far, cause boo wouldn't leave the yard without her High School Musical blanket...

Look at all the teens my girl tots and a wolf...
That wolf belongs to Pale Girls dog tried to eat him, but thats another story for another day.
Ya wonder where the boy is
He is upstairs in my room playing on the XBoX 360 because there were too many girls in his house.
On my DishNetwork I noticed something I have. A channel I never had before.
It is a channel called, and I shit you not..
And its got Obama on there talking about shit and whatnots...
I was looking for a McCain channel so I could have good listening materiel for when I have the such luck.
I don't watch the Obama channel, I have not yet been that desperate for mindless entertainment, but I found is comforting just knowing its there..
Kinda like knowing long underwear are in my drawers in case I get chilly..
Oh and I nearly ran outta gas going thru the drivethru on friday...I was getting my tots some dinner, cause every friday we get take out..
I took hubs car cause well, I figured it had more gas then my van..
I did not look at the gas gauge, which was a lapse in judgement on my part, because it was in the negaitve.
I practially sucked fumes to make it home..
I asked the hubs what kinda damn hillbilly he is to NOT have gas in his car...I mean what the hell..
I coasted into the drive way and went on a naughty word binge...
My son, God Bless him, when I start spewing 3, 4 and 5 letter words he says..
Aww mom..tot talk, tot talk..
When I start getting pg-13 he always says "tot talk"
oh and I said something to him about his pals having Playboys...
he got all red in his face and told me he would not ever look at one.
I asked him how he even knew what Playboy was, becuase that was a test and he had just failed..
he was not suppose to know what i was talking about.
He told me, and I quote.
"well parents out there who dont do a good job raising their kids and watching what they do, they let their kids look at playboy and the stuff gets around school"
and then he thanked me for being a good mom and not exposing him to Playboy...yet.
He told me all in good time.
Thats my boy, easing into playboy , all in good time


Southern Sage said...

a cup or just a padded jock strap??
not a cup

sounds like fun!!
the footbllin
and the drinks!

sounds like a stellar weekend!

Tom said...

Man, you can pick out Pale Girls daughter in those photos no problem! The lad really does look pretty bad ass!

Shannon said...

Great football pictures! Totally agree about Pale Girls daughter... she could be a mini-me, lol.
This is for Southern Sage- you can buy shorts now that are like tight boxer briefs and the cup slides into the front. Do people still use jock straps? Not around here!

Jennybean said...

Yep, that's one bad ass looking boy!

Glad you survived the rest!

Janell said...

You have the best son EVER!

And I hope Boo and Blondie are safe at home after the 16th bd party. Have you checked on them lately?

Flip Flop Momma said...

no, he has a real cup...I have knocked on it, and I bought it...its called an "athletic protector"


yeah, they look the same...but the kid is much cuter;)

mini me 4 sure...

yeah i dont think they call them jock straps anywhere anymore.

bad ass 4 sure.

yup, i am gettin them ready 4 school as we type;)

~Jobthingy~ said...

he looks total bad ass.. good on him

so how exactly did you still manage to stand up straight and host a party after all that booze LOL

Flip Flop Momma said...

I am not sure, but I didnt even have a hang over..

And I had not drank like that since my birthday in May..

Im kinda like a superwoman I think.

Gette said...

I think all that booze is a prerequisite to having so many teenagers in your house. My kids want to have a halloween party again this year. After last year, I'd better start stocking booze now.

"T" said...

My God Woman!

You can actually drink as much as me.

And that is no easy feat, I am here to tell you.

I want one of those strawberry things. Or a dozen.

"T" said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Flip Flop Momma said...

yup, better start preparing now..

i thought u were dead.

we need to go drinking sometime, cause i can drink with the best of em..

DFTF said...

I'll be staying away from the quickies, but I do enjoy porn stars. :-)

Jamie Dawn said...

Your boy cracks me up!

He is one bad arse footballer!!!

Looks like the party was fun for the teens and the tots.
Your house is most likely a cool place to hang out.

Go easy on the alcohol, girlie.
That berry thingie sounds kind of yummy, and I'm not a drinker. I DO like Mike's Hard Lemonade, which I have about once very two years.
I am a wuss.

Scarlet said...

Your boy is something else...not the Playboy talk, but man, he looks like a cutie that can kick some butt out in that field! Nice.

I love your McCain comment about having good reading material when you're in the pun intended. :) I had no idea there was an Obama Channel...I'll stick to belly dancing, thankyou.

Great party you had for the teens. Pale girl's daughter could pass for her twin!

The description of your quickie (and I'm not referring to Sunday sex) made me almost want to vomit, but the strawberries sounded cool. It's good you're getting your fruits. If you want veggies you can always go for the Bloody Mary with a celery stick in it, you health food nut, you! ;)

Dame Wonder said...

i love the pics of the kids. you got great shots.

and the convo with your son about playboy and neglectful parents? haha!! priceless!

Monogram Queen said...

I love that your boy plays football - I love me some football! The party looks fun but i'm not digging that wolf!

I thought you said you weren't getting drunk anymore *snicker*