Monday, October 13, 2008

Lay down your love

In case any of you were wondering....all the flies in the world reside inside my house.

And even there nasty cousin the fruit fly...

all here...its like a big fuckin reunion.

I'm not sure where they came from, or why they chose to buy real estate here, but they have.

I am going to go buy some of those fly tape things, you see the people who live in trailer parks hanging as decorations..

I like to keep up on the current trends, hell even set them....

so everyone go buy one..and leave it hang all winter long with the dead flies on it..

trust me, its the cool thing to do..

I swear everyone room in my house has its own fly family living in it.

But the reunion ends today..


Ok, when I watched my new favorite show over the weekend, NEws To Me...they had a story of this kid with political signs in his yard who kept having them stolen, so he set up a sophisticated system to track em down..


I thought to myself, who the hell steals signs? That's kinda retarded.

Until this morning when I realized BOTH my Obama signs were gone.

I live on a huge cornor lot, so I have two signs, I mean HAD.

Every house on my street has an Obama sign, so why do they take mine? Then I noticed some houses with Obama signs, that had NOT had any signs in their yard yesterday.

Then when I take Boo to school, I hear a couple parents saying their McCain signs were stolen, and some other Obama ones were taken as well..

Then I think this kid is on to something, I need to set up some surveillance camera's to get to the bottom of this.

Then I email hubs to tell him about the missing signs..

He said he has heard a bunch of these damn teens are stealing signs and putting them in yards that had not had any signs, or putting Obama signs where there were McCain signs and vice versa..

Now, why cant kids go have teen sex and steal cars like they did in my day?

go smash some kids pumpkins or go skin some cats..

Just leave the damn signs alone.

If someone has a McCain sign, leave it...

If someone has an Obama sign, leave it..

Thats the beauty of America, you have the right to chose...

And if you chose to take my sign out again, I may just bust your knee caps.

So I made some calls, and I am getting two new signs put in my yard...

I need to go out and set some booby traps.

Yes I said booby.


Brooke said...

I think I would be more upset if someone put the other persons sign in my yard then just stealing the sign.

Flip Flop Momma said...

yeah, but thats an easy fix, just put it in someone elses yard;)

Southern Sage said...

get out your bb gun
put on your face paint and camo stuff
get in the green tree so the camo works and shot em when they come to steal!
that'll teach em!

Humincat said...

Sounds funny. I mean, irritating, definitely irritating. And to be honest, you had me at Booby.

Jamie Dawn said...

Yep, you did say Booby. There's this bar featuring topless ladies that is along the highway in Alabama that is called Westley's Booby Trap. That name just cracks me up!

Flies are the bane of man's existence!
They are a plague on humanity!!
I hope you kill them before they make their way to my house.

Sign stealing sounds like the kind of caper Taylor and his buddies would do.
It's not very nice at all.
If you catch who did it, I suggest you beat them with heavy pipes.

Monogram Queen said...

OH lord! Sign switchers.... I thought of stealing some to use as Yardsale signs - but I swear I didn't!!!

Flip Flop Momma said...

4 the record, my tree is a sickly looking yellow now..haha

yeah I knew Bobby would get u;)

amen on all counts...

its dem dang teenagers..

what r we gonna do wit dem?

i wouldnt bust Taylors knee caps, i would just make him come inside and draw tattoos on me;)

Flip Flop Momma said...

haha, yard sale stealing..

it better not be u taken my signs..hehe

Groovy Mom said...

Good luck getting the perps! Put some dog doo around the signs.

Flip Flop Momma said...

now we r talkin.

Gette said...

Our senior social teacher was somewhere left of Karl Marx, so, of course, we all thought it was hilarious to fill his lawn with Republican lawn signs every Halloween (in election years).

Flip Flop Momma said...

I have been known to do that in my day....

but damn, i miss my signs..

help me.

Scarlet said...

Stealing and switching signs?? What's so cool about that? They need to get a life!

As for those sticky bug strips...I don't even think they sell those anymore. I'd love to get one just for giggles. Let me know where you find 'em! ;)

Jennybean said...

grrr.. let me tell you about flies!

well we only have one... but I have been a bit under the weatehr and the damn thing will not leave me alone when I try to sleep on the couch!

the dog poop is a great idea for your sign stealers...

Mrs. K said...

that sign thing is happening here some people made their own signs it said something like- you can take my sign but you won't change my vote...lame -o.

Flip Flop Momma said...

I had one two years ago when flies invaded here, but i could not freakin find one totally bumming.

I know when im laying on the couch, there is one who likes to taunt me...sonofabitch.

Mrs K,
yeah that is kinda just getting two more signs...little suckers..

Slick said...

My 14 yr old stole some beers the other day....there's hope for him yet!

I'd booby trap it for sure...

Oh, and are you making the flies pay rent?

catrina said...

We've had Obama signs stolen three times! We've got other candidate's signs in the yard, but they haven't been touched. Hubby said maybe some idiots think they're stealing votes instead of signs.

Flip Flop Momma said...

stealing beer is way better then sign stealin...u r doin good;)

I know, like stealing signs is gonna make us 4get who we are voting 4;)

my local signs are still here too...weird.

just_tammy said...

Do you know what happened when our Aussie friend and a few of his buds got drunk one Christmas? They posed the neighbors' light up reindeer so they could make a few light up babies. Guess the neighbors' kids are scarred for life...The things that happen on unsuspecting lawns...

Yep, you said 'booby'!

Shannon said...

Cracking up, over teens moving signs around. That is just too funny!

Sweets said...

flies... must be those chillies LOL

you have politcal signs on your lot?? LOL how odd... but i live in another country so no wonder it's strange to me :)

Flip Flop Momma said...

that sounds something like I might do...I like messing with xmas displays;)

it wont be funny when it happens to u;)


its a common practice here in an election year...u put the signs of who u support in your yard if u want..

and two of mine are now gone:)

Dan said...

I had an idea about stolen pumpkins this year. "Pepper Spray Grenade!" I don't know if they make such a thing, but you could put it in the pumpkin with a string out the bottom attached to the porch. The loser gets 10 feet with it and BAM!, gets what he deserves, and it would be funny! I'm sure you could make this work with signs as well. That dog poop idea is awesome too. Maybe you could put an ad on craigslist for dog poop wanted.

Flip Flop Momma said...

the wAY u talk, its almost like u have dome this just saying;)

but u know me, im willing to try it..hahaha

~Jobthingy~ said...

*snickers* you said booby

i have a fly problem also. they all come in to keep warm and you know what i do? i suck them into the death vortex that is my vacuum.. HA!

JoeinVegas said...


I think the flies are bred in New Mexico, and travel around the country in dried peppers. Find out if they have a Mexican accent.

Flip Flop Momma said...

these bastards dont land long enough 4 me to suck em...

well there is one who is always flyin over the salsa..

but i got rid of my peppers a month ago..

i need to see thier greencard.

~Jobthingy~ said...

oh you make sure you have it on super suction.

then you get them all in the window.. they are stupid and think they are escaping. and BLAMMO! you suck them all in.

i just took care of like a dozen lady bugs and about 7 flies in my room.. now onto the other rooms.

Flip Flop Momma said...

wanna know something...i hate admitting this..

my vacume has NO fucking attachements..

my good vacume took a shit a couple years ago, so all I have is my small shitty dirt devil and it has no attachements..

i hang my head in shame.

Krystal said...

I have egg laying chickens in coops (had an escapee this morning hiding under the can read all about it on my blog). When we have too many roosters, I cut their heads off, clean & dress them, and serve them for dinner with dumplings.

My chickens aren't restricted like commericial heans are. They are 4-5 sq ft per bird. Most commercial birds get one square foot. They are also kept in wire cages where they can't scratch and can get infection on their feet (mine are in mobile pens so they can pick and scratch like they're suppose to).

Another thing about laying hens is that they don't generally spend years laying egg. The egg production of a hen just about cuts in half after their first molt. After their second molt, they're slaughtered. Life expectancy? About 2-2 1/2 years (unless they're fed all sorts of hormones and crap to keep them laying...which is really bad for them and you).

Wanna see a picture of me holding a rooster's head in the air after chopping it off?

Flip Flop Momma said...

I DO I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!