Thursday, May 29, 2008

We are the world

There has been all this talk in the last couple years about going green. don't get me wrong, I love the color green, in fact my living room and kitchen are both painted nice shades of this color...Grass is green, and hell, who doesn't like grass?..

Some folks are taking the whole green thing too far. Sure I hate paying 6bucks a gallon for gas...this is why I ride my bike now....It cost me nothing to gas that bitch up.

I will use the hubs as an example, because well, he is a prime example of how assy going green can make u seem.

We all know I have been with no dryer since December, so this means I wash the linens and things and hang them to dry in the laundry room, which can take anywhere from two days to two months...

We have been talking about breaking down to buy a dryer...but now he is all gone ape shit on me.

Since its nice out now, he has assembled what he refers to his "patriot line..or freedom line"....Now I have no issue with clothes lines outdoors for the most part...just don't hang your two gallon underwear out there...because I don't want to see it...

He has the freedom line on one of our porches. Now for some reason this house has a door leading to the outside in nearly every room...the door off my living room has a small deck with steps that lead down to my backyard..

Its on this little deck he is hanging shit out on.

I think it looks pretty stupid.

he thinks he is like the most awesome person for doing this..

He has also planted one herb garden and two vegetable gardens and plans to live off the land this fall and winter...

We are going to moving sometime in the near future and he wants to now go to a land where he can garden all year round, and even have his own fruit trees and ponds for fish...

Im about ready to tie him down and make him watch me use a leaf blower.

Another thing...

I am a freak about my dishes being done...they must be washed in a dishwasher because I don't feel they are clean enough unless the water is so hot the steam from it gives u a good chemical peel.

Our dishwasher has decided to take a shit...well more like the diarrhea...it works, but it doesn't do an effective job, so I must wash them a bit before I put them in.

This causes issues because he thinks washing them by hand is good.

My thought is thats gross.

I don't ever want to eat off a dish that has been sitting and soaking in water that other dirty dishes have been sitting in..

have you seen the water in your sink after the dishes are done?

does it look good to you?

NO...it doesn't...

Another thing we are fighting about is my mop. My nice mop took a shit too...a real shit.

I had severe issues with the mop to begin with, as I find it kinda caveman like to use the same mop to mop your kitchen as u do to mop the piddle off your bathroom floor when your 11 year old son lets his wizzer just wiz freely.

So I wanted to get another swiffer. Those things are just insanely awesome.

He was all pissy about the purchase...to me it makes good clean business sense.

I don't like dirty floors...and washing my floors with a mop head that looks like it was used to clean a dirt road, just wasn't giving me that warm clean fuzzy feeling I tend to like.

I am thinking about building him and Eco - Friendly dwelling to live in...complete with outdoor plumbing and gravel floors.

before I know it he will be wearing hemp clothes and going to nude beaches.

I cant take it anymore...

He now buys shirts that are made from plastic bottles.

yes yes they do exist.....trust me

I'm all for saving the planet and whatnot...

But damn it all to heck...

Don't force feed your crazy on me...

30 comments:

cathouse teri said...

Hunny bunny, there is only one thing to do in this situation. If he wants to have the laundry hanging out to dry for the sake of freedom and he wants the dishes washed by hand for the sake of freedom and he wants the floor mopped with a crappy mop that takes three times as long as a swiffer for the sake of freedom then tell him he's fucking free to do all of that!

No harm in his opinions. As long as he's the one responding to them. You respond to your own, thankyouverymuch.

Groovy Mom said...

Teri is a smart woman!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Teri,
amen sista...amen sista...

Groovy,
yup...thats 4 sure..

Humincat said...

My husband hasn't seen our mop, or the inside of our dryer, and doesn't know if aliens wash our dishes, so be glad he is even on par with ya over this shit. And yeah, I'm all for green, as long as it doesn't mean I have to carry my groceries to the car bagless or start drinking tap water. (And I won't eat our homegrown chicken eggs, but I might start feeding them to the kids....is that evil?)

Packof2 said...

Perhaps you can have him clean for a couple of weeks so he can see how well all of these broken items are working.
Pretty sure you'll get your dishwasher, mop & dryer then:)

S

catscratch diva said...

Well, tell him you know a chick who's husband is an eco terrorist.

He drives 100 miles twice a week to go to a fleamarket that is full of worthless shit and livestock.

Nay, no garden for me. I wanted to plant a teeee-tiny herb garden and some tomatoes... NOSIREEE.

He's a dick.

Of course, the day he comes home with any kind of live stock you will know a chick who is living in the pokie cuz she killed her husband.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Humincat,
well he "tries" to clean...I mean he does, but well...its just not up to MY standards...

typical man...


but he does want chickens to have the eggs...


Shelly,
wonderful Idea my dear:)


Diva,
u crack my ass up...

Tom said...

I hope you are in MN long enough to do a little karaoke this autumn! You can compromise with Mr. Shakey and use green enviromental cleaning stuff...it is made and works good!

1 plus twins said...

tell your hubby to do all the laundry and cleaning himself since he is going green!!

seriously? - shirts from plasstic?? that is crazy.

i am leaving for vaca on sat to the beach in cali so i will catch up with you when we get back. i still think you need to move out this way!!

Southern Sage said...

aint love grand!
damn the greenies!
everything at ur shack is taking a shit, you better bail soon!!

Gette said...

All the exterior doors may have been planned for cross-ventilation. Our friends live in an old farmhouse built like that. Works great in the summer.

Flip Flop Momma said...

SS,
I need to bail to the sunshine state huh?

Gette,
well, im not sure if thats the idea, I was thinking more like someone wanted to be able to make a quick get away:)

Monogram Queen said...

I am with you sister, oh I am with you. Freedom line my rear end. I want my DRYER DRIED CLOTHING dammit.

sweets said...

no way.... plastic shirts?!!!!

mwhahahahahahahaha... i'm sorry, this is too much...

you should really put down your foot, he is taking it a tiny bit far i think :)

Shannon said...

Let's see, tell him if he wants to wash the dishes by hand HE can do it, lol. Oh, and get him some of those swirly bulbs. It will thrill him to no end. With the money saved on the light bill, you can have your new "energy efficient" dryer.
Hemp clothes and nude beaches....too funny!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Patti,
amen sister..

Sweets,
and the plastic shirts looks just like a regular shirt...I dont get it..

Shannon,
He already said he was gonna wash the shit by hand...

but my whole issue is that I dont want to eat off dishes that have been sitting on gross water with other dirty crap:)

damm..just sick I tell ya..haha

KrazyMom said...

Maybe you need to remind him that the dishwasher gets so extremely hot it sanitizes things...meaning less germs! I couldn't live without mine, I even throw plastic daycare toys in it if I see the little ones chewing on them. I give you credit for being without a drier for as long as you have! I'd go insane.

That is exciting that you might be moving! I know you have wanted to for quite a while. How do the kids feel about it? Go somewhere awesomely warm so I can come see ya in the winter!!!!

So Not The Bradys said...

My husband has done dishes 6 times since '94. Yeah, I keep count. 2 of those times, I was away for the weekend at an Erma Bombeck writers' workshop.

The thing is, when he does something like that for me, he expects a tickertape parade or uh, other favors, for his actions. This annoys me because I sure don't expect someone throwing me a party when I scrape gum off the floor or I'm collecting dirty drawers off the bathroom floor.

Sounds typical though...a husband's wild and crazy ideas inevitably make more work for the wife. You'll be the one out there collecting eggs and getting pecked to death by the chickens.

Choppzs said...

I am sick of hearing about "green" shit on Days too! Everytime the characters talk, it's some inuendo about going green! Holy crap! lol

JoeinVegas said...

Can't just make him do things his way while you do your stuff your way? Sorry about the difficulties, perhaps an organic wooden baseball bat upside the head might change things.

Bella said...

I agree with what Teri said.

just_tammy said...

Teri took the words right off my keyboard! It's time to show hubs who wears the non-plastic pants in the house! He needs to understand that we have definite cleaning issues and can conserve in other areas. What is he going to do when a bird craps on his plastic shirts hanging on the freedom line? He needs to get over himself before you act on diva's plan...

Wethyb said...

I noticed the whole "green" thing on "Days" lately. Everyone's doing it!

Haphazardkat said...

I um...I'm uh...speechless. SPEECHLESS! After this post I got nuthin, Sistah.
How you have endured no dryer--a crappy washer and a crusty mop--I *shudder* SHUDDER for you!
Embrace the power of the pale one.
She alone can help you now.

Rachel said...

Wow, your husband is really involved isn't he?? Some men don't have a clue as to how things get done around the house. I don't think I can picture you doing the homesteading thing!!

Hope to see you at Blogstock!!

Dame Wonder said...

"...and hell, who doesn't like grass?" *giggle* funny girl.

maybe it's just a phase. a lot of ppl who obsess about going green are sometimes in a phase and then they tire of it.

i think my green phase lasted six and a half minutes. and then i woke up wondering where i was. or was that the vodka? eh. who the hell knows!

MamaMichelsBabies said...

Between your poat and Cathouse Teri's reply I was laughing out loud with Ug looking at me oddly.

I'm 100% with Teri, force him to do it for a while while you stand back and tell him how to get it done right and see how green he is then. He'll be beggin for the dryer and swiffer. Begging.

Thank God Ug pays no mind to how I clean and what I spend to clean it.

Yippeeskip said...

You sound like my girlfriend who is a bit germ phobic and goes on mold hunts. Just promise me this. Do not go on and get your Masters degree in public health. It will mess you up for life.

Janell said...

Well, Momma, I have never owned a dishwasher other than the ones on the ends of my arms. I do love the smell of line-dried laundry. But then again, my line is in the back yard out of sight. I'm not sure I'd use it if I had to share the sight of my undies with neighbors.

doozie said...

sounds like someone needs to be handed a longbow and a knife and told to go live in the wilderness for 30 days and if they survive, then they can have opinions about mops and such