Saturday, May 03, 2008

Life in the fast lane

Thank you for all your birthday comments and such, it made me all warm and fuzzy inside..


So this is a re-cap of the week gone by..


Ok, I told u about the girls who think I am 18...yeah, well I had a total 360 happen after that..


See our business had a salon fair, in which many salons in the surrounding area come to the school to mingle with all the students, set up booths and try to get us to want to work for them when we are done with school.

So as I was making nice with some salon owners I had this tap on my shoulder. I turn around and this woman is standing there..The way she touched me was as if she knew me or something..


I look at her and say...YES...cause I was kinda ticked about being tapped.


This woman was around 50 or so, had a nose ring and the wire was hanging out her nose. The part that is suppose to be tucked inside the nose, and I couldn't stop looking at it..


As I am staring at her nose she says to me in the nicest way possible..



hey, I would hire you in a heart beat, we are always wanting to hire older women for salons because they bring something that an 18 year old cant, I assume your not 18 or anywhere near it..hardy har har.


I killed her.





Then on my birthday I had to get my Minnesota drivers licence because well, im a loser and put off everything till the very last second. ThaTs how I roll.


My Michigan one expires on my birthday so this means I'm up shits crick with no paddle.


I head out to the DMV, because that's where u go.

I go in, give them all my forms of ID and take the test on the computer.



I finish and it says.


u got a 78%....



U did not pass

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD someone please kill me now.


How does a 33 year old woman NOT pass her drivers test ON her birthday?


I just start giggling uncontrollably..because I mean, what else can ya do?




Then I take my giggly ass back to the car and text everyone I know to tell them I failed my test.


I can not take it again till Monday, so I am in deep crap...



Then its pouring rain and my wipers decide to stop working...and I have 30 miles to drive to get home..


with no valid licence..






Go ME..

So if I disappear for a while, it might be because I have been pulled over on my way to class and I cant afford the bail money, and I don't have enough lip gloss to buy my way outta that.

The woman at the DMV asked if I needed a book. I was like , A book for what?





Shes like, to study.


OHH, u can study? Im all over that like flies on shit, because I have no idea how many feet away a car needs to be before I turn my high beams off..


Im a tool .


~



Here are some pics.



These are just pics from my birthday...


Enjoy.


























My cake, now don't be jealous, there is plenty high school musical to go round people




















Me, my cake and two of my tots...





















Me and the hubs...


















































U might think he was the one drunk, but alas, it twas me...







































Now there u can clearly see I was the intoxicated one..










































This is just us....all partyin like its 1999...





Gotta party while im not in prison...gonna enjoy my freedom while it lasts..

38 comments:

"T" said...

Crap. Forgot your birthday. That's okay you forgot mine too :) I am one day older and several years but we won't talk about that.

I'm also a hair stylist. omg! Could you be stalking me? Oh, wait. I am here at your place. I could be stalking you.

Really it's cause I like your shorter hair. No, I am not hitting on you. At least I don't think I am. I can't wear mine short like that.

So there you have it.

Groovy Mom said...

You dyed your hair! Cute!

Looks like you had a great b-day!

Flip Flop Momma said...

T,
Shit, I did 4get, well happy belated birthday sweets..

No one likes my hair...everyne is stupid.

Groovy,
I chopped it all off them colored it cause i am retarded;)

Shannon said...

Oh my gosh, that cake it just TOO HILARIOUS! I love the new hair. We just have to get a new picture made when our license expires here, as long as you do it before your birthday. Just a sign test, eye test and a quick pic. Don't know if I could pass a big test after not being in drivers education for many, many years, lol.

Gette said...

Usually you post the 'do pics almost in the middle of the cut, so I was surprised by it. Like it, tho.

just_tammy said...

I can't believe you didn't pass your test especially after taking the day off to do it! Guess your mind is shot at 33. We know mine is long gone!

Thinking Sage said...

haaaaaaaaaaaaa
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
does hubs make those faces intentionally??????????
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
that cat tickles me!

well you don't look to old!
haaaaaaaaa
happy b-day

Foster Communications said...

That cake is PERFECT!
Your hair looks rockin, not like someone waaaay over 18 at all. :)

Flip Flop Momma said...

SHannon,
I know, that cake is priceless right?

well when u renew here its the same, but I dont even have a MN license...I need one..thats the issue..im bad.

Gette,
huh?

Tam,
totally shot!

Sage,
he didnt want his pic taken, its his own fault..

Jess,
thanks girl:)

Haphazardkat said...

ever see that movie Powder?

About the albino kid who had super powers?

I suspect your pale friend is a relation.

She could use her powers to bust you outta jail and peel your cellmate Bertha off you with a casual flick of her lily white wrist.

I fear her.

I'm in awe of her glowing whiteness.

Must go now. Must make a shrine.

oh. and PS. WTF at the woman coming up to you and saying that shizzle about hiring "older" people?

Pfftt. Sad case of jealousies I'd say. I hope you hip chucked her down the road with your tight 18 year old butt cheeks.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Kat,
I can NOT stop lauging at your Powder comment..

OMG, ur the bomb girl!

Scarlet said...

The pics are great! Love the new look and hell no, you don't look old! That 50-year old wants you to join her club...stay away from that!! It's the young girls that speak the truth! You look 23, end of story!

As for the drivers license...it's just one more thing you have to study for. You can do it. The 23 year old mind can do ANYTHING!

Scarlet said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jamie Dawn said...

I'm loving your red hair!!!
Great color and cut.
You look totally cool... for an old lady.
I would have killed that woman too, also, as well, in addition!!!!!!!

I'm glad you had a good b-day.
Happy Belated B-day from Me!

Thanks for sharing all those pics.

Dame Wonder said...

don't you just love it when ppl you don't know say dumb shit to you and meanwhile think they are being amusing?! yeah, that comment about your age deserved an eye-wallop.

too bad about the dmv test. just study the book and take it again, hon.

glad you had a FUN time at your birthday!

Humincat said...

Oh, looks like somebody got into cosmotology school....J/k! Cute do, cute cake, cute kids, ugly friend. HAAHAHAHHAAHA. Sorry, it just came out.

Tom said...

Bossy, Love the hair....you really need to push the limits of the Clairol Color chart while you still look like a school girl.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Scarlet,
wanna join my 23 year old club?..cause I will give u a free pass.

JD,
Thanks..

No one likes my hair in the real world, so I am glad u guys like it at least:)

Dame,
yeah, im off to take it tommorow...gonna have to miss school again cause im a dumbass..

Humincat,
OK, u just busted my gutt on that comment...I didnt see that comin..haha

Tom,
u know I will...

cathouse teri said...

That was a funny story. Who wants to be confused with a fucking 18-year-old anyway? They can't even buy a fucking drink!

Glad you had a fun time. :)

Bella said...

Hope you pass your test!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Teri,
Amen girl, at least we can go to the bar past 10pm..

Bella,
Thanks...Its gonna be pretty shittin funny if i fail its twice.

Trukindog said...

I know a place that might help, check my post from 4/2/o8.

I think your hair looks great and so does that cake mmmm.

dakotablueeyes said...

I like your hair too very cool. Omg I would freak to not pass the test. Hope you get it done today!!!

gina said...

OMG- How funny was your cake. u crack me up. Hey I love your hair btw.

1 plus twins said...

ha ha only you would have a high school musical cake!! too funny!!

Patti said...

Y'all are too cute for words!

Failing the drivers test - that would be me! I have to renew this year too. Boo! Hiss~

I am still laughing at that tacky chick at the salon show. I hope you gave her a good go-to-hell look!

Bradley's Mom said...

I don't know HOW I missed your birthday, but I apologize!

I hope it was super happy, and that you have a healthy and happy year to come!!

Your escapades have me roaring with laughter, as always!!

Love ya!
Linda

Jeff said...

So... it's Monday. WELL?

Happy belated b-day!

IamDerby said...

Cant wait for the next installment wherein you pass your test!!

Flip Flop Momma said...

I did not take it yet...taking it Tuesday...

I am not holding any expectations..cause im a retard like that...

doozie said...

You're not just a tool, you're the entire tool box

aatank said...

Did you pass your driver's test yet?

Funny News from back home: It was on the radio this morning that Troy Mata is running for Sheriff. If that happens I'm leaving town for sure.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Doozie,
true...true..

Tank,
I did..I got one wrong..but I passed..haha

HOLY SHIT no..yes, u move here if that happens..our sheriff and one judge are under house arrest for selling drugs or something...thats better then a Mata running the sheirffs dept..haha

JoeinVegas said...

Well, looks like you had a good time. Hope the cops don't get you before you pass the test.

just_tammy said...

So tell us about the Matas! Congrats on passing your test. You are once again a legal driver.

CMB said...

I am glad to hear you killed the lady with the messed up nose ring. That totally sucks about your license. I hope you are studying - hehehe.
Looks like you had a very nice birthday. Glad to see some fun photos.

Neurotic1 said...

I hope you haven't gotten locked up somewhere. I dig the new do!

Anonymous said...

Happy Belated birthday :)
By the way the new red hair and cut/style are absolutely beautiful on you , Much better than the blonde ,hope you like it :)
It really is a big beautiful change ,,,,SWEEEEET!
and no I am not into chicks HAHAHAHAHAHA just a compliment:)

Miss G