Wednesday, May 21, 2008

I want it all

Have you ever noticed that when you go to get your haircut, the second you walk in the salon, suddenly your hair looks freakin flawless and you wonder what the hell your doing there because frankly, you look awesome and your hair is the shizzle.

that was totally a run on sentence and i recognize that fact..thank you.

Then as your sitting in the chair after they have washed your hair, you get a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and you look like some freakish monster. Suddenly you went from one hot momma to some ugly fuddy duddy who desperately needs a haircut.

Why when your at home and you get out of the shower and start doing your hair, you don't look bad with wet hair, in fact, you look damn good...

Not a care in the world, you look good, and you know it...

Then BAM your in the chair with the cape on, and suddenly your like the monster that lives under the stairs..

How do these things occur?

Another thing, I am always uneasy when I have to speak to someone with crossed eyes or someone who has a bum eye or a glass eye..or anything of that sort, because I just don't know where to look.

I took Boo to Burger King today, because she is cute...I got a salad and a dt coke and she got some chicken and applesauce.

This was actually the second time I have been to Burger King in this town...I hate Burger King...there I said it..

The woman who waited on us was either cross eyed, or had one eye that a eagle pecked out...I'm not sure which..

I found myself just wanting to write my order on a napkin so I didn't have to make eye contact, because I didn't know what eye was the good one..

And if I had a moment, and if it was politically correct, I coulda figured it out with a good long stare..

But since that is not polite, I just didn't look at her.

I felt bad, but I didn't wanna talk to her whilst lookin in her bum eye...

So those are my delima's for today..

C u suckers next week...

17 comments:

Groovy Mom said...

Next time that happens with the bum eye, just look at the spot between the two eyes. The other person won't be able to tell the difference, especially because being cross-eyed or having only one eye messes with one's depth perception.

Bee Repartee said...

Thank you for your grammar comment. I think your writing rocks, too. :)

As for Salon Head, I'm figuring it's the florescent lighting that makes one look so pasty and gross. I have thought EXACTLY what you feel. It's the stair monster.

I hate figuring which eye to look at.

Bella said...

I hate sitting in the chair and looking like crap.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Groovy,
I tried that...but she had a growth there...

Bee,
they make u wanna look retarded so ur glad u came in...huh?

Bella,
yup...4 sure...

Shannon said...

I always think the same thing when I go get my haircut!!! I think it is the lighting and the HUGE mirrors.
Glass eyes freak me out.

runningwildkids said...

My mother in law has a wandering eye and I can't seem to look her in the eyes when I talk to her either! I don't know what the heck she is looking at.

Dame Wonder said...

you know you're a certified crack-up, right?! LOL! i can just picture you writing a bk order on a napkin, right under the nose of that cashier. hahaha!

as for the hair. you're right. and i agree with others. it's definitely the lighting and that shower curtain bib.

as for the wandering eye, next time follow boo's lead. kids always know what to do in these new situations.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Shannon,
yup...it seems everyone thinks its the lighting...Must be...it sucks ass though.

Runningwild,
damn...that would suck to have a relative with a wandering eye...How do u do it?

Dame,
well poor Boo woulda told her something like.." I cant tell what ur lookin at"

or

"whats rong wif ur eyes lady"

hahahaha

Southern Sage said...

Well I go to my hair stylist every other week for a touch up and I feel the same way, I don't get it either!

I neer look in he correct eye, do the people know u think, I mean are they thinking "that dude/chick is dumb as donkey shit cause they can't tell which eye is good?"

Gette said...

We had a nasty drive-by clairol incident here earlier this week. Luckily loreal came to fix it. I'm worth it.

just_tammy said...

A post to ponder...lovin gette's comment!

1 plus twins said...

as for how you look at the salon that is what happens when you get as old as you are. lol welcome to my world!! lol

Cliff said...

yeah, I know what you mean about looking sensational just before getting a haircut.
Not.

catscratch diva said...

Good advice from Groovy Mom for sure. The girl at the karaoke bar has that goin on. Of course, by the end of the night, I'm just as crosseyed as she is.

Happy weekend!

cathouse teri said...

I know! That is exactly what it's like to get your hair done! You walk in all gorgeous and half expect the hairdresser to say, "What the hell are you doing here? I can't improve on this!" And then they make you look like a wet dog they dragged in from outside. Can't blame 'em. They have to make it seem they've made an improvement for their money, right?

I like Mike Meyers' approach in the movie "View from the Top." I think they should just honestly say to us, "Here. This is the good one." Help us out, right?

I just look at the one that's lookin at me. :)

Jamie Dawn said...

I know what you mean about sitting in the salon chair and looking in the mirror. It doesn't matter how great I put on my makeup, I look like a corpse when I'm in that chair. I think it must be the lighting... yeah, that's it. Good grief!

I hope you have a good holiday weekend.

:-)

Monogram Queen said...

I want it all too. I have a friend who latched onto me at work and we go to lunch every day and she has a wandering eye and OMG I go to make a comment about someone else with a squiffy eye and CLAM UP. One day... it's not gonna happen and that will be the day you read the Monogram Queen's obituary cos' I will DIE of embarassment. It's an ongoing project to keep my mouth shut about wall-eyes, cross-eyes etc. and they fascinate me so.