Sunday, May 18, 2008

Give me one reason

There are a few things that trouble me, and I feel the need to share.



When I see grown women wearing pig tails, it makes me want to run over them with my bike. And if the pig tails are braided...thats a hit with a double decker bus.



When I see people wearing shorts and a sweatshirt, it makes me wonder...is your top more chilly then your bottom, or are u just mentally retarded.


never mind the fact I am sporting that very attire right now, it does not look bad on me, just everyone else...

When I see 3 year olds with more silver in their mouth then I have in my purse, it makes me wonder, do their parents support morning breath and bad teeth?...because holy crap, it makes me shudder to think what their teeth must look like..

When I am out doing karaoke and someones name is called and they act like they had no idea....it makes me pissed. They are like...oh, what song is it?.

hey dumb ass, u filled it out, I saw you do it....stop acting like u had no idea u had a tune up there..

And another thing, anyone who takes their beer or drink up on stage to sing, really bothers me....

It looks assnine....

That sums up shit thats buggin me...

I had a can of spagettio's with meatballs the other day. I am wondering just what the hell those meatballs are made of, cause its meat I have never seen nor eaten till then. I took one bite and had to throw it out.....just the mear site of that mystery meat gave me the craps..


Me and Pale Girl went to see a live band at our local watering hole Saturday night, as there was not much happenin in the town..

The guitar player/lead singer kept staring at me...It was kinda creepin me.

When they took break number one they sat behind us, and at one time he tapped me on the shoulder and asked if the music was too loud.

I was like there is no sense in playin live if u aint loud brotha..

Then during the last break they sat at the table right beside us...

We were talkin music and such, and then the fucker asked me out.

I grabbed my cell phone and said..


let me call my hubs and see if he minds...

He still kept eye balling me, so we ended up leaving...

Oh and my 4 year old keeps referring to a boy in her class as her..

pumpkin muffin.

makes me just sick..

29 comments:

Brooke said...

there is a meal that you can buy that isn't cold or frozen, that this girl at work used to eat. She bragged about how good it was and how cheap. I figured might as well try it if it was cheap and good all in one. When I opened it I thought it was dog food. It went straight in the trash. No mystery meat for me!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Brooke,
no one needs dog food...good call girl...good call..

dakotablueeyes said...

I was thinking the same freakin thing about shorts and a sweatshirt just yesterday when I saw several people doing it lol

Jamie Dawn said...

That band member wanted you to be his pumpkin muffin.
:-)
There's so much about certain people that bugs me that I don't have room to comment on it all. I'll just read your annoyances for now and leave it at that.
I never wear shorts and a sweatshirt.

Bella said...

I am guilty of pigtails and shorts & sweatshirts. Sometimes all at the same time too. Except for now, because my hair is too short.

Southern Sage said...

Goat testicles. I think thats what it is.

The one that kills me in the vest........I mean whats the theory? My chesh is cold as a bitch but my arms nah my arms are warm, alls good on the arms!

Tom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tom said...

Braces and braided pig tails is a good look....D'OH~!~
With me, what annoys me is men in short sleeve shirts with ties...

Cliff said...

I see I need to have my pigtails cut off before blogstock.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Dakota,
Im glad we agree on this...I mean what the hell is that all about?


Jamie,
Im sure the two of us could go on and on about the things other people do to bug us:)

Bella,
lets keep it short, we dont want u goin back to old habits..haha

Sage,
oh yes, that bugs me too...I dont get the vest myself either..

Tom,
yup, that looks stupid...looks very juvinile..


Cliff,
im sure u carry ur pigtails very well...dont cut them off just 4 me.

metalmom said...

But where do you stand on white socks (or any socks) with sandals. Not the ones that old men wear--I mean the ones all the young kids wear these days?

Scarlet said...

You get a lot of action in your little town. I guess wherever you are, there it is, right? I fully understand.

I loved Spaghetti-O's when I was a kid and all that canned crap. Now I'm with you...I'll spit it out before I have to force it down my throat. Not even in hurricane season w/out power and light will I eat anything like that, especially from Chef Boyardee!

Pumpkin Muffin...I like that. I think I'll call the hubs that later just for giggles. ;)

Flip Flop Momma said...

Metalmom,
thats another no no...I mean the point of the sandle is to NOT have to wear socks...am I right?

Tiff,
the hubs will totally be all over u with pumpkin muffin..i just know it.

1 plus twins said...

i love the line you gave that guy. too funny! hey on the bright side at least you know you still got it in your old age!! lol

Dame Wonder said...

"is your top more chilly than your bottom, or are you just mentally retard."

hahahahaha!! woot! friggin hilarious!

pumpkin muffin?! wtf?!

Monogram Queen said...

Ha Haaaa I am a shorts/sweatshirt victim. I can't stand for my arms to be cold but my legs never seem to get cold. I'm weird, I know.

The guy - def creepy. Avoid him.
Pumpkin muffin - hahaaaaaa she's taking after Blondie!

catscratch diva said...

Ahhhh, they grow up so quick!

Yes, I'm mental. I'm one of those friggin freaks with the sweatshirt and shorts and flipflops.

Flip Flop Momma said...

1PT,
well, I do need permission if im gonna go ona date..haha

Dame,
I know...the pumpkin muffin bit just irks me..she is 4 for Gods sake.

Patti,
well..Im guilty of it too...I mean, I dont care when I do it..haha

Diva,
yeah...me 2....I do it too...

Haphazardkat said...

I can solve your sweatshirt/short mystery.
*clears my throat and hops on soap box*
I wear a sweatshirt with shorts cuz my top indeed gets cold whereas I do not feel the same cold on my legs.
Annnnnnnnnd, I've been known to wear pigtails annnnnnnd *Z snaps* I make them look Goooooood! mmm hmm. *sucks air through my teeth and cocks my hip. Don't be hatin on me girl.
As for the mystery meat? unused man nuggets. Thats what it is. Whole lotta nuggetless men around of late ifn' you know what I mean.

oh and ...how dare you tease me with the words "pale girl" and not post a pic!! How's a sistah supposed to keep her shrine fresh?!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Kat,
oh damn girl...your too damn funny..

I need to see a pic with u, your braided pigtails, AND your sweatshirt and shorts..please please...u do it, and pale girl will have a pic soon...I swear..hehe

Shannon said...

Oh know! I have short hair, and sometimes pull it pack into two, tiny pony tails when it is hot. I call them my "nubin's", lol.
Too funny about the pumpkin muffin!

Groovy Mom said...

We make fun of the people who can't go up to sing without their drink in their hand. It's like a security blankie.

You reminded me about my dream last night. I dreamed I ran into an old high school friend, and when I looked in the mirror that was on the wall behind her when we hugged, I was horrified to see that I had braided pigtails, Pippy Longstocking style! ::::shudders::::

just_tammy said...

Great post as usual. I thought of you yesterday when I witnessed one of the funniest things ever. I was waiting for my Boo at the scary bus stop in the little scary town which is as far as the bus will go since we are out of district. Please keep in mind I really appreciate the fact she can ride a bus to that point especially with gas through the roof. Anyhoo, all of a sudden I hear all yelling and screaming from one of the country moms. She comes flying out of her 'sporty' 1980's mini van with her sweet yappy dog. Turns out the dog peed on her black acid washed jeans making it look like she had wet herself in the worst possible way. She proceeds to set the dog down on the grass like it had anything left inside. Proudly I did not wet myself even though I was laughing hysterically. Moral of the story -Be grateful your pets wait until you are out of your cloths to use them as their toilet!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Shannon,
I have short hair too...now i want pig tails.

Groovy,
ya, those people who need drinks to sing, cant really sing anyway;)

Tam,
it troubles me that a woman in an 80's mini van and stone washed jeans with dog piddle made u think of me..haha

doozie said...

I think you should have made a date with that guy and sent the hubs to meet him at the designated place and time.

I agree about the pigtail thing, I have never sported those, I have however sported sweatshirts with shorts on many occasions. That is because I find it vaguely comforting, in fact Walter is sporting that look right now

Flip Flop Momma said...

Doozie,
well walter and I have something in common.

Freak Magnet said...

I so totally can relate to this post. Especially the karoake one! GroovyMom and I witness often times people sitting there after their name has been called looking bewildered.. I don't get it. They're wasting time trying to look surprised and it's so lame! What is the point? Is it bad to look excited and eager to sing or something? ;)

Flip Flop Momma said...

Freak M,
I know..I mean when they call MY name, I am up there b4 they get my whole name out...

cause thats how I roll:)

So Not The Bradys said...

Sweatshirt and shorts? Guilty of that. Actually, it is because my arms get cold before my legs. It's also called rushing the season.

No way on the pigtails. Not only because it would make me look like I was desperately clinging to my youth, but mainly because my husband would try to use them as handlebars.