Sunday, June 01, 2008

Something to believe in

Thursday after school my Blondie brought home a note stating she was invited to a sleepover at a friends house.

We will call this friend "Shirley" only because it makes me giggle.

Anyway, I don't know this kid but I have seen her parents at the regular 2nd grade shenanigans like picnics and school trips..

I didn't even know my kid was friends with her.

But because I am a good momma I let my baby go...

So I wrote her a note to ride the bus home with Shirley.

As soon as my baby left 4 school I began thinking...I don't know these parents.

Do they have a rap sheet?

Do they run a meth lab?

Do they sacrifice goats?

Are they Holy Rollers?

I didn't know any of these things....and it was troubling me.

Were the gonna kidnap her, and use her to hang clothes on their freedom lines?

I didn't even know where these people lived.

I was having these images of Nancy Grace talking about this on her show...

what mother, lets her 8 year old daughter just go off with people she does not know?

just say that in a Georgia accent.

So as the night went on, I was waiting for her to call me, begging to come home.


Around 1pm on Saturday my girl comes prancing in the house like nothing went on.

I ask her if she had a good time. She did.

Good. Good...she had a good time..

Then as my baby starts talking about her time over there...I begin to shutter.

First up, she lets me know the people have a farm. Farms are good. Who the hell doesn't like a farm?

Its not your average farm. Its a goat farm.

I bet u know where im going with this........

Yes, they eat the goats...So therefore...


She then informs me there was a trough filled with goat gut and bones..

Then in the barn where the goat feed is kept, there are rats. And they shoot the rats for sport, so she said there were a lot of dead rats with bullets in the heads laying about.

Then she let me know that they was a bear in the barn two nights before they were shooting at.

She also saw a dead goat hanging...that they skinned.....

This is the girl who wants to be a vet and cries when she sees commercials for the Humane Society.

Also she lets me know they slept in a tent. Outside. With goat parts and bears.

I asked her what they ate, because I was freakin they mighta fed her goat meat.

She says they had pizza and rootbeer floats. Then for breakfast pancakes and bacon.

Can u make bacon outta goat meat? Shit I have no bloody idea.

Then she lets me know they spent time walking on the railroad tracks.

We have a very active railway system here, I mean they barrel thru about 5 or 6 times a a day.

I guess the important thing is she had a good time huh?

I totally need these kids taken away from me..


Because frankly, I cant be trusted...


Gette said...

My fifteen-year-old went to a sleepover last weekend. WAYYYY scarier than the second graders. After being assured by the supervising parent that no liquor would be present, my kid informs me (either incredibly honestly or stupidly) that some girls smuggled in liquor. My kid opted to hop herself up on Pepsi; I gotta give her credit.

Groovy Mom said...

Sounds like she had an awesome time. Last time my 9 year old went to a sleepover I had to drive 10 miles to go pick her up at 3 in the morning because she was scared being away from home. She did that two years in a row, with the same family. She's invited AGAIN to a sleepover to the same place in two weeks. I'm gonna go pick her up at 10 PM and save everyone the trouble.

Flip Flop Momma said...

thats what i always told my mom 2..hehe

just pick her up after dinner:)

just_tammy said...

Yep, Nancy Grace would have had a field day with this one. I'm glad Blondie had fun and came home in one piece having not tasted goat. It's a miracle any of our kids are still alive...

Dame Wonder said...

fuckin scary. as you know i have 2 girls who are now young women. i'm glad to be past all this sleep-over shit. but i must say, call it paranoid. i always had to have a conversation and/or meet with the parents so i could have a sense of who they were. i might have to call the child protective authorities on you. seriously.

Karin said...

Well I am glad she didn't get any goat blood on her. I am truly frightened when I get to the day I have to put my trust in random parents for my kids well being. Maybe we can have all the parties at our house instead.

The Offended Blogger said...

Too funny, we have pygmy goats on our little farm but they are definitely not for food.

Well, OK, in a bind I suppose technically they could be, but I would cry.

Glad she came back in one piece and Nancy didn't get wind of the story. :)

Tom said...

When I was a kid, we'd kill a goat at midnight, sit at the table, drink the blood from a silver chalice, and Gram
would lead us all in a chorus of "Helter Skelter", then we'd write our names in pigs blood on the wall outside...but then most families do that I guess... memories...

sweets said...

LOL yeah well i think we're related or something...

funny stuff and SO glad to hear i'm not the only one who did that :)

Flip Flop Momma said...

well if nancy googles her name and ends up here...we may still hear about it;)

as u should!..haha

well, I have talked with them at "functions" guess I thought that was , well..suficant, and I can cleary see, i was sadly mistaken.


just wait till they ride their bikes to school alone..

oh and just wait till they are old enough to stay home alone for a few minutes..

having a 6th grader is tough...I was babysitting all summer when I was the boys thtas freaky.

oh dont lie, u sacrifice those goats..I just dont it;)

sad thing is, I can totally picutre u doing that..hahahaha

we might be....lets exchange DNA samples:)

Southern Sage said...

I am dumbfounded you have never been involved in a rat killin!
what do y'all do up there for fun??
a couple 12 packs
22 rifle
its on!

yeah u can make goat bacon!!

Flip Flop Momma said...

well, there aint many rats in my yard, cause well, I keep it dead animal free..haha

So did my baby eat goat bacon?


Haphazardkat said...

holy goat sacrificers!! WTF??!
You gotta keep this relationship going--I gotta have me a goat to sacrifice on my pale girl altar shrine!
Can you get me the skinned one though? I love my pale girl but I ain't shreddin no goat hide if'n I don't have to.
I ate goat once. I was in Haiti buildin a school when the local natives put on a feast for us. They killed the Sumbich right in front of me. Slit its throat and dangled it before chopping and cooking it.
I was afraid I'd be dangling on the goat rope if I didn't partake of their grisley feast so I choked down a leathered piece of grisly sacrifice.
I'm goin to hell.

Haphazardkat said...

PS. It did taste a bit like bacon.
...just sayin...

Flip Flop Momma said...

u crack my shit up..

u r really in love with plae girl arent ya?...Im gonna have to post some pics of her soon so u can ad em to your shrine.

and slittin the throat in front of me would made me vomit and die..I cant handle that shit

Janell said...

No you don't. Your the best Momma on the planet for my virtual grandchildren. I wouldn't worry too much about the goats. What else are they good for besides eating? I'm told they make excellent hotdogs and bratwurst.

Humincat said...

JUST SAY NO! It is rule number one in the parent handbook. So far, Cateyes has only been allowed on one sleepover and that is because they were on the same soccer team and in every class for the last 3 years, which makes them perfectly safe, right? Oh, and they are rich and have a huge pool, which makes them doubly safe! And I've eaten goat meat before, it's gross and smells like goat.

Monogram Queen said...

Honestly I DON'T think you did anything wrong but I would have at least met the parents and known the kids living conditions before letting her go but I am glad she had a good time and hey, she was exposed to different experiences
P.S. Pizza and Root Beer Floats - that cancelled out the goat guts & bones right there!

Southern Sage said...

She not only ate it she liked it.
Please don't tell her what the meatballs in the spaghetti really were either

Just sayin.

Shannon said...

The freedom line phrase is still cracking me up!!! Our relatives raise goats and sheep. The greeks come to their farm and slaughter them on site and hang them up and skin them. Apparently they are VERY particular about their sheep and goat meat, lol.

Flip Flop Momma said...


oh u just gave me bad visuals;)


Yes wealthy people with pools are ok..haha

I dont allow my kids to play anywhere there is a pool or trampoline..

goat farm with bears...thats ok..haha

I thought that is cancelled it out too;)

damn good thing she didnt eat spagetti..haha

Flip Flop Momma said...

I just dont think I could eat goat or sheep meat...I have a hard enough time swallowing beef and pork..

i just shudder..

Shannon said...

Oh, our school system doesn't allow kids to ride on other kids buses. I would just drive her from now on, so you can scope the places out. ;)

Jeff said...

My kids are ALWAYS asking if they can sleep over at strange kids' houses. Most of the time I say no and the rest of the time I say the kid can sleep over at our house. The last time I let my boy stay over at a friend's house I didn't know, the parents had a party in their hot tub and my kid stayed up until 5 in the morning drinking Mt. Dew all night while the parents got wasted. No thanks!

Scarlet said...

If she was able to just talk about it matter of factly, that's good (scary, but good!).

Jamie Dawn said...

I was okay with all the goat guts, the bear, and even the deceased rats, but playing on the train tracks just sent me over the edge.
Shirley's farm is now off limits, you hear me??!!
I wonder if goat meat tastes good?