Thursday, October 11, 2007

Time for me to fly

There comes a time in a woman's life where she must realize her role in this ever changing world in which we live in.

One of mine happens to be a mom/mother/mum...which ever you prefer. Although here in my home, I am always called momma....The only time my ten year does not call me Momma is when his friends are here, or he is calling me from school.

Then I am Mom...I sometimes don't answer to it, because I am never called Mom..That doesn't even sound familiar to me. So when my kid is showing off to his buddies and hollers

Hey Mom, my buddies and need more Bud Light, could u be a doll and bring some down for us?

I don't respond because I don't know who mom is.

Not my fault.

That would be kinda like someone yelling..

Hey Jill, come here..

when clearly your name is Martha.

You don't answer, because holy crap, your not Jill and you sure as heck aint mom.

Moms are old...Hell, my mother is called Mom...she is almost 50.

I don't expect to be called mom until my kids are sporting pubic hair and needing tampons or um...wallets.

It is kind of like some woman not liking to be called Mam.

Mom just sounds old....and even though I am 32, I don't fancy myself being old.

So son, please stop calling me mom.

Call me Momma, Mommy, Ma, Mother, your hiness...whatever, just stop with the Mom business, its giving me wrinkles. Thank You.

The Mang,

My son for the last few morning will say to me.

gosh, I am kinda gassy this morning

What kid says that?

and then he proceeds to let them rip.

The Boy needs an ass plug.

~

My nice neat homestead is missing a few necessities today.

Garbage bags and soap for my dishwasher.

Ok, now instead of running to the local grocery establishment, I head for the laundry room and grab my lawn and leaf bags.

Sure I have black bag hanging out the sides of my garbage can, but dang it, I could fit a whole human body in there.

And as for the dishwasher, well...Right now I am running it with no soap...I figure the hot scalding water should get all the germs off.

Whatever residue is left, I can wipe with a Bounty paper towel.

See these are things a Mom would not do.

A mom would run out and buy the needed equipment for such things.

A momma on the other, makes due with what she has.

I mean tonight I will send Ole Shaky out to buy my Downy Fabric softer, nice white Glade trash bags, I love the ones that grip to the basket, those are the ones I buy..try em, they are all that and a bag of chips, and then some Cascade with Bleach tablets for my dishwasher.

So its not like I am a complete waste of flesh.




oh and I won my appeal...yeehaw bitches!!!!!

46 comments:

Slick said...

Awww Mom, growing old ain't so bad.

What? You're 32?? Geeezus, I didn't know they made women as old as you!

By the way, I'm first dammit. Do I get an award or something?

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Slick,
your award is a kick in the sack for ONE calling me mom and B calling me old!

patti_cake said...

Somehow I knew you'd win that appeal. Congratulations!

Sandi said...

CONGRATS on your appeal! And thanks for the hot water tip. I usually just throw in any kind of soap that is sudsy; dove bar, dog shampoo, my very expensive face soap. You know, whatever. I'll try your trick next.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Patti,
thanks, I was sure as hell hoping I would win;)

Sandi,
well, I wouldnt call it a tip, rather just lazy on my part..haha

dog shampoo, I have tons of that...

*thinking it might just work*

Tom said...

When I was a kid we called a neighbor's mom "lefty" she thought it was funny. She was left handed and would hit fungos to us.
I always called mom "mum" (My Boston accent).
Very happy for you!!!!!!

Haphazardkat said...

hurrahhhh on winning you appeal! :D

...love the bags that grip the sides.

...I'm called Momma too :)

Halfmexican Mama said...

I HATE BEING CALLED MOTHER!!
Next time u run out of dishwasher detergent...use one quarter cup of baking soda...if you ever need a substitute for anything just gimme a holla! Im the queen of Substitutes!! Hard to believe I havent seen you in the flesh for 2 months now...where the hell does the time go?? Wait getting off on a different tangent here. sorry. my bad.

Just lil o me... said...

lurker...first time poster..the WINNING that appeal made me post! YEAH GIRL!!! Way to go!!
For the record, I am called mommy by my 13 yo girl. Unless we are in public or basketball practice, at which point I am referred to as Sid. Why Sid, you ask? Sid the sloth, from Ice Age, of course. I referred to my mom as Ma, unless we were in a crowd and then she was Moo - it worked. Calling your dear mom something OTHER than what everyone else is calling theirs really makes you stand out. And it proves yet another point: Weirdness IS genetic.

Halfmexican Mama said...

I was just reading your reply to Slick...and if I told ya once Ill tell you again! 2 comes after one, NOT B!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Tom,
mum is kinda British..u sure your not a Prince or something?

Kat,
thanks..

and those bags kick ass;)

HMM,
baking soda huh?...your like my little Mrs Clean..

Lil o Me,
well thanks for posting!

Now I think Syd is pretty dang funny, I love that movie..I do think girls will call moms momma or mommy until they get a boyfreind..but boys, the cut off is when they make freinds...lil pissers.

please post again..and thats an order damnit.


HMM,
well u better come here and learn me how to talk.

Halfmexican Mama said...

Ask Christina to count to ten she will say

1, B, 4, T,3,....tee hee...!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

damn, stop disrespecting me...shoo..

;)

Fleur de Lisa said...

Errands suck. They suck big time. I bet June Cleaver loved to do them, but I do not.

KrazyMom said...

Way to go on the appeal!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Lisa,
errands to suck!!

KrazyMom,
thanks..I am about to email u back from the one I got today;)

The Egel Nest said...

FFG -

No ass plugs...just tell him to excuse himself to an area that you cannot smell his lovely wind breakers :)

Bradley
The Egel Nest

Michael Manning said...

Patricia Heaton's book mentions that kind of holler for "Moooom" just before they puke. Sorry, this just reminded me of the different Mom enunciations. :)

Humincat said...

The Boy needs an ass plug.-Do you realize how many weirdo's you are going to attract with that??? And YEEEHAAAAA on your win! And I always called my mom "MOM", and it does come across kind of like "Mary" and puts the child on a similar level as the parent, but to be honest, my kids could call me Slick Rick or Young Yolanda Yorgenson (from Dr. Suess' ABC book) and my heart would still flip. Unless they call me by my first name. That may get their mouths washed out with soap and all their Christmas presents returned to the Yard Sale next door.

Fantastagirl said...

So glad you won your appeal - you rock especially for an old woman...

*DUCKS*

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Bradley,
well, if u insist.

MM,
I need to read her book, still dont like being called mom though, makes me feel old.

Humincat,
I rather fancy Yolanda...they can call me that..

Fantstagirl,
thanks....and u better watch your mouth;)

Katie said...

Whoo hoo! Glad you won your appeal.

Jessica Foster said...

My mom was always mom, never ma! If she was ever called Ma oh man would we get the "LOOK!"

Meow (aka Connie) said...

Congrats on winning the appeal (now I need to read back a few dozen posts to discover what it was about ... LOL) ... it's been awhile since I visited !!
Hope you have been well, and keeping out of mischief.
I hope to get back to regular blogging again, now.
Take care, and have a great weekend.
Meow

1 plus twins said...

i hate when people call me mam!! hate it hate it hate it. i tell them too. i will stop them dead in their tracks and say don't call me that ever again!!! you won the appeal that is great. i think we all knew by what you have been writing you would. so when do you get the rest of your money?? what is up with you and half mex. mama both talking about farts in your post. it must be cuz you are both full of shit. lol just kidding!! have a great weekend!

Neurotic1 said...

I agree the whole Mom thing sound old. I like being called mommy! That's who I am!

I love those garbage bags too!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Katie,
thanks chica;)

Jessica,
yes, same here, my mom was always mom...but for some reason, I think it sounds to old or formal for me;)

Meow,
well hell...how u been?

Appeal is a long story...not even worthy of your time going back to find out...trust me.

1PT,
well I have been getting my money all along, if I would of lost I would of had to pay back all of it then not recieve anymore..HMM and I are pyscic, we know what the other is thinking;)

N1,
I am Momma, I like that..not mom..

So, what time should I be there to crash your party?..haha

themuttprincess said...

I think that we mother's of the world do know how to make due with out.... How else have we survived this long?

Flip Flop Goddess said...

TMP,
shit...I forgot U..I added some links the other day, and I knew I was forgetting someone..sonofabitch..

anyhoo....yes, we know how to make due, cause we are smart like that;)

Slick said...

The font you're using just makes it look like I typed some bad shit...I'd never do that!

Besides, you mispelled "lick". It doesn't start with a "K". ;)

Congrats on winning your appeal!

Cliff said...

You made me read thru all that before you lay the best line on me? Great news. Congrats!!

Ba Doozer said...

I use hefty "grippers" and there you go. don't be a sassin me on that

Wethyb said...

I hate it when Big Sissy calls me "Mudder", "Mommy", "Mother" or anything other than "Momma". I'm Momma, plain and simple :)

Wethyb said...

Oh and congrats on the appeal :)

Marel Lecone said...

I've not commented in a few weeks and there's a hearing?!?! Sheesh. :) I've missed out on so much. I guess I will have to catch up a bit. I don't mind them calling me "Mom". The problem that I have is the frequency in which they are always calling my name. Mom MOM Mom Mommy Mom . . . it never stops! :)

MamaMichelsBabies said...

COngrats on winning the appeal, now.. if you could have seen their faces when they were told that you won it, that would have been priceless.

Mine still call me Mama... Mom sounds so damn formal I hate it. Mother is what my oldest calls me when I am embarrassing him, which happens often. Hehe.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Slick,
OK, I dont even know what to say to that..Me and my damn spelling errors;)

Cliff,
well it was a last minute add, sorry for the torture;)

Dozer,
yup, I like those too...I think thats what I meant to say...hefty grippers...hell yeah.

Wetthyb,
Mudder is cute though, u have to admit that;)

Marel,
well here I will sum it for ya peaches..

I was fired, I went to unemployment, they tried to fight it..(my former employer that is) I had a hearing and they lost;)

see, thats all:)


Mama,
I like Momma, makes me seem young, why I dont know..Im just going with it;)

and thanks...them bastards got what was coming!

Sometimes Emma said...

whoo hoo! Let freedom ring and in their face....

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Looks sweet Emmers...may God Bless u:)

Avery Gray said...

Well, I don't know you, but whenever it comes to stickin' it to the Man, I'm all about that. So, congrats!

The Egel Nest said...

Love the new header and colors... :)


Bradley
The Egel Nest

Flip Flop Momma said...

Avery,
me too...thanks;)

Bradley,
thanks....I change it with the seasons...stay tuned *or winter;)

1 plus twins said...

cute background!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bradley's Mom said...

I don't care what my kids call me, as long as they CALL ME!!!!

Congrats on your appeal!!!

Linda

Flip Flop Momma said...

1PT,
thank u my dear;)

Annymous,
what the hell, I have not had a spam comment in a year or more..sonofabithc, and thats a lenghty one too..holy bazoo.

Bradleys mom,
yes..true, when they grow up...they can all me whatever they want..

BTW, I have looked at your store site, and I think its awesome, my mom has had a mastoctmy and buys specail bras. ..so think u freaking rock for having a store that sells them;)