Friday, October 05, 2007

Dont come around here no more

I want to talk a little about the Downy Ball. I am a user of it, I do fancy fabric softener and I will be the first to admit that I go above the "full" line just so my crap is extra soft and supple.

I don't use dryer sheets because they are worthless pieces of poo poo. They still make my towels rough and my jeans feel like an SOS pad.

Sometimes when I am feeling a bit spendy I will buy both, just to make sure I have my lotted amount of softness for my crap.

But you can get too much crap. If you have to much softener it does leave a bit of a residue on your linens and things.

You have to learn the right amount of shit to put it, its a science almost.

My Downy Ball has been giving me pause over the last few days. Seems the bastard does not want to drain the liquid out after each washing. I open my washer to find a perfectly filled Downy Ball.

What the hell Downy People?

Now, I use the Downy Ball because I have a galloping case of the stupids..(I stole that from someone, and it cracks my shit up every time) and I forget to add the fabric softener.

When you are slightly touched to begin with and then you add a case of the galloping stupids, it makes for un-soft clothes.

So this ball gives me a chance to become a good laundry attended and give my family soft supple clothing and bedding.

But when the ball wont open, it makes me look like an ass.

And this bugs the crappy outta me.

Don't you dare make me buy another one.

But you also know when your on the verge of drooling and pooing yourself kinda stupid when you send your kids out to the bus at the regular time, when its a two hour late start. Then you start yelling at them as to how the Sam bloody hell they could miss the bus when they were even out there early.

Don't listen when they tell you its a two hour late start. Because kids don't know shit.

You continue to yell at them thru the kitchen window telling them to get their hinny in the house so u can drive them so as they are not tardy.

because no one likes a tardy kid.

Then your child shows you the slip of the two hour late start.

And you wonder why kids thinks adults are morons.

Adults are to kids as to what clowns are to us.

Funny looking and with big shoes.

Thats it. Thats how they see us.

How does that make u feel?


Tom said...

Wow....I guess I should try fabric softener. I never bothered. Just everything...dainties and cold water with Tide. Soft fabric caressing my delicate skin sounds nice!~
Do the bees have secret meetings about You and Mr. Shaky?

Halfmexican Mama said...

The damn ball gives me a run for my pennies every once in a while too, I think since they are mass producing them now they think they have a leg up on things and dont need to make them work properly a strong message to the downy peeps and I guarantee they will send you a coupon for free downy or a free always works for me. Remind me I want to bitch at the Glade candle people, I think I will go do that right now....toodles!

Neurotic1 said...

I only use the dryer sheets. I am not a laundry master. I use to add fabric softener in the beginning of the cycle. Then my mom told me I was a moron! I told her that was something SHE was suppose to teach me before booting me to the curb!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

once a soft supple fabric hits the scrtum, you wont go back.

I have made a strongly worded letter to them a few years ago for the same reason, and I got shit.

no fabirc softner?..what?..huh?Say it aint so.

Humincat said...

That is so funny, since I just recently (this week) decided to use fabric softener. I normally use dryer towels, like my mama taught me, and always was a bit mystified by fabric softener and its purpose and proper placement in this world and more specifically, my washing machine. But recently, I've come to realize, I'd perfer my clothes to not just smell "not dirty", but to actually smell, "clean and fresh". So I purchased the Downey/Febreze and I'm in Laundry Girl Heaven. But I have missed a few cycles and had to redo, so a ball has been on my list of "things I need in my life" but now I'm worried. Is there a better brand???

Flip Flop Goddess said...

well, I LOVE Downey softenr I always get the Cashmier sented one, it comes in a peach bottle..LOVE it..I Love all thier scents, but I awlays use GAIN detgerant..Love that shit too..

As far as the ball goes, I do think Downy is the only one who makes it...its only like 99 cents or something, well worth it if you rember to use it;)

Tom said...

Hmmm...having my testicles cradled in soft cotton does sound intriguing and dare I say even mildly sensuous.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

yes..u will LOVE it...give it a go and let me know what u think;)

Fantastagirl said...

I don't like fabric softener caused problems with my washer - then it was probably my washer, lots of things caused it problems, putting clothes in it caused it problems.... moving on - I love my dryer sheets.

Jessica Foster said...

I work at a school. Every freaking time there is a late start I still see parents dropping off their kids and then driving away, the kids walk in and they have no teachers, no classmates.....

Oh, and I gave up on that damn Downy Ball. Now I just set the timer on my microwave so I know about when to just go add the stuff. And oh yeah, I'm all about the more the better too!

Rachel said...

I guess I'm the moron because I don't know what the Downy ball is! I use the fabric sheets 98% of the time.

Now I'll have to go to the store and see if I can find a Downy ball and see what they are like.

Fabric softener definitely helps. Lots. Tom will never go back to using nothing but Tide. Never.

Katie said...

I love my downy. I don't use the ball though. I'm too lazy.

Scarlet said...

"a galloping case of the stupids..." Love it! I'm borrowing that line TONIGHT!

Gette said...

All fabric softener does is lubricate the threads in your cloth. So you wash dirt off them to basically coat them with lotion. Kinda like conditioning your hair. Wierd.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

well damn, thats not good.

Jessoca Foster,
sometimes parents are stupid.

go get a downy ball STAT!

its great if your lazy or even forgetful;)

the ball is speacilly desinged FOR lazy people!

well u go ahead and use it, in fact I stole it from someone;)

I love condtioner, cant comb my hair without it:)

patti_cake said...

Don't use fabric softener on your bath towels - it makes them less absorbant!
That sounds like something I would do (argue with kid through kitchen window)

Flip Flop Goddess said...

but it makes them smell so good and feel like butta;)

themuttprincess said...

I use both. And I use different kinds... Whatever I am in the mood for.

That will learn you not to listen to your kids. Ha. I could see that happening to me....

The Egel Nest said...

Funny looking and with big shoes...very cute :)

The Egel Nest

catrina said...

Loved the Downy balls, too---until I had the same problem. They'd empty, then one day, they'd be full when the cycle ended. I bought several before I gave up--then washer quit working and I got one with a dispenser you add the Downy to when you start the load. I'm SO happy to have that!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

I use to buy whatever was on sale, but then something about the smell of downy, keeps bringing me back;)

its true though right?

I swear when my washer quits I am buying one like that..

Tom said...

Geez thanks Bossy for the suggestion!!!
Now my nuts have a rash!!
Thanks a shitload! :)

Flip Flop Goddess said...

no probelmo;)

Haphazardkat said...

clowns are evil :|
Tide has a container with downy added to it. its awesome!

Jamie Dawn said...

I'm proud to be a clown!!
I've never used the Downy Ball. I use dryer sheets, so I guess my laundry is inferior to yours.
If I was rich, I'd pay a maid to wash my bedding every day. I love the feel of freshly washed sheets and a freshly made bed.

No_Newz said...

Yeah, see I get the whole clown, adult, kid thing, but when you go around dissing the Downy Ball, I can't condone your behavior missy! How dare you say anything bad about the best and most mysterious invention ever, in the history of Ancient Chinese Secret History??? How dare you? I ask!!! And I thought we were friends! *pouting in your general direction* :P

Have a great weekend!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

I have tried that stuff with the downy in it..I just aint gettin it,my clothes are no softer, maybe its just me.

its not that my laundry is inferoior to yours, mine just has more soft residue on it, thats all;)

No Newz,
oh shit, so you have NEVER opend your washer and had your downy ball still full?..I aint buyin it missy!


Raggedy said...

Well I guess I should get some balls.
Thanks for letting me know that I look like a clown to my
Don't forget to fill your ball.
I hope your ball breaks when you do fill it...
Have a wonderful day!
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one