Friday, February 22, 2008

Round and Round

OK, so my hair is no longer the color of urine..

thank u Jesus my Lord and SaHaiRvor

So I chatted it up with my hair lady, she got me some shit that takes the color OUT of your hair..

Awesome...

You use this stuff and you can re-color your hair as soon as its dry.

Awesome..

I use it, and my color remains...ONLY its white...I crap on your leg not..

I was freaking out..

I decided I had nothing to lose but to re-color it...My hair lady gave me my desired shade and I came home and did it..

Since I am a former hair lady myself, I will only pay to have my hair cut...Never colored...NEVER.

So I get the color on...and its processing...I keep going to the mirror to scope it out, making sure its not falling out, nor turning any odd shades..

Turns out its a tad darker then I wanted, but its better then having hair resembling that of an Albino.

So Friday afternoon I am going to add the red...

Its all in Gods hands now.

~

The other night as I lay in my bed, I begin hearing something very odd..Its a clankity clank sound..

I look at the clock, its about 1am. I think one of the tots must be up using the crapper.

Then I hear it again, and again and again.

What the hell is that?

I wake up hubby..

do u hear that?

no, what?

that?

yeah..so..go see what it is.

Me, hell no, u go..

No..

Aww shit, it aint that important.

So all night I hear this noise at various times...

I am sure its something the dog is doing, because I can hear her pitter patter of her tiny dog feet.

The only time I do NOT hear it, is when the lazy bitch is laying on my bed..

I'm not cursing, she is a bitch...

So I am confident the dog has gotten into something, but I don't give a rats behind, cause I am so sleep deprived, it doesn't matter.

I get up in the am and I go into Boo's room, where I see the dog has taken her valentine box and single handedly eaten every piece of candy that was in her box.

Every.Golldang.mothertruckin.piece.no.shit.

But I am still wondering where the clinkity clacky sound was coming from..

Then along comes my bitch beatin hell down the hallway, as she knows she is in big ass trouble..

The clicklty clack is growing closer...louder...

I look down, and my bitch has a sucker stuck to her damn paw.

My dog likes to lick suckers.

As well as her ass and my face.

Sweet.

36 comments:

Rachel said...

Thank you for this funny post!!! Hilarious!!!!

Katie said...

Hope the dog didn't get sick from the candy!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Rachel,
your welcome:)

katie,
I was hoping se would of, to teach her a lesson...BUT...nope..

damn.

KrazyMom said...

At least she only ate the candy. Our pup ate the ear pieces to Punkin's new mp3 player the other night! Poor Boo will have to find some more candy! Hope you weren't cleaning up doggie puke later.

You'll have to post a pic of your hair. Are you doing subtle red highlights...or prominant red streaks?

SWIZZLE STICK said...

Hysterical! My dog eats socks and barfs em' up 4 months later...

Flip Flop Momma said...

Krazymom,
red streaks....I go thru this about every 6 months..ha

No, dog never puked, I think she is looking for more..

Swizzle,
mine has ate Boo's underwear,and they got caught in her butt coming out..

The Egel Nest said...

Nothing like dogs that lick their butt...and then your face...what is that all about...

We have a friend whose dog always humps the crap out of my leg when we visit...I feel so violated...

crap...


Bradley
The Egel Nest

Flip Flop Momma said...

Bradely,
my dog is female, and humps legs too..

my cats, my kids, my company, all feel violated as well..

damn dogs..

Shannon said...

Funny! For some reason our dog ate the tops off of the outdoor lighting we installed along our sidewalk. As soon as they came on, he went crazy, lol.

"T" said...

Haha. Sticky foot bitch. Hopefully she didn't eat any chocolate or you'll have carpets to steam clean.

You need to get on a plane or a bus (lol) and get over here. I will fix your hair. Free :)

Scarlet said...

You are so freakin' funny this morning. (Well, it's morning here in Miami!) I always have to remember to read your posts without the coffee cup in my hand.

Love those last lines!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Shannon,
I bet those lights felt good coming out..haha

T,
damn..I would in a New York Minute, but your pool has to be open;)

Scarlet,
I love you:)

Yippeeskip said...

My dog got accidentally locked in the bathroom one day and actually ate through a 3x3 section of the wall. There was nothing left but a 5" sliver of wood. No scraps, no drywall, nothing.

1 plus twins said...

ha ha i was gonna ask for the picture of your new hair color but shit i would love to see a picture of that bitch with a sucker stuck on her paw! that is funny shit!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Yippee,
damn, that doesnt sound like it would go down well or come out well..damn..dogs r stupid.

1pt,
well, when I am done w/my hair i will post it, as 4 the dog, tha bitches sticky paw is already gone;)

CMB said...

I am glad to hear your hair is on the mend...looking forward to seeing the end result.

Did the dog crap herself? Chocolate is so bad for dogs, I hope she did not ruin any rugs. Was Boo upset?

Flip Flop Momma said...

CMB,
there was no chocolate, mostly suckers, sweet tarts, and things of that natarue..

She eats chocolate all the time though, it hasnt killed her yet..

*not for lack of trying on my part*

Janell said...

I am playing comments catch-up here:
Well it looks like the ffffffffffffffffing problem has worked out, or you’re getting better at dealing with it.

What an adventure you are having with your hair! I’m trying to grow mine out into a shoulder-length bob so that people will quit calling me “sir.”

I abandoned Subway when Quiznos came to town. Melted cheese on toasted bread is my ultimate comfort food.
I hope things are warming up for you up there in the northern reaches of the US. We actually got above 10 already this morning!

You made me laugh out loud at the sucker stuck to the paw story. You rock! It reminds of a poster I had in my room when I was in HS back in the…. Well it was a long time ago. “From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties and things that go bump in the night.

Dear Lord, deliver us.”

CatScratch Diva said...

Gotta love kids and pets.
Into everything all the time.

Have a mar-vo weekend, girlie!

Groovy Mom said...

Yeah see? This is why I do not let dogs lick my face. Well, that and I break out in a rash, but you know. They have no discretion when it comes to licking. Lollipops-yes. Butthole-NO! See? I have discretion.

Southern Sage said...

Well if there was chocolate in the box you could be minus one k-9 soon!!!
Also my V- HNT'r post is evidently a big lepps fan , her tat than she was showing in the hnt pic (on her calf) was some lepp stuff I thought u'd be in for that.

just_tammy said...

I was laughing so hard I ended up snorting! Love that hubby wanted you to deal with the 'thief'!

Now that you've fixed your hair do something with mine please. One of the major drawbacks to moving is having to find a new everything. The recommendation for someone to properly cut my hair turned out so well I'm cutting my own bangs and letting the rest look like crap. Not good.

PunkRockHillbilly said...

I enjoyed your blog!

My dogs are puppies, so I kennel them at night....except for one night. I felt sorry for them and they were potty-trained, so I figured, "what the hell" and let them stay out. I woke up to tiny pieces of toilet paper strung over 1500 sg ft of house and nothing to wipe my ass with. Needless to say, they are back in their kennel at night.

Patti said...

Hopefully the candy didn't hurt the dog... and hopefully she licks her face first (especially before the ass)

Flip Flop Momma said...

Janell,
thats quite a catch up..
Mine is a shoulder length bob, and I still have them calling me sir;)

hehehe..
dont worry, it will grow.


Diva,
true true..

Groovy,
u need to put a little spice in yfourf life....ahahaf

ff


SS,
no there was no chocolate...but she has eaten boxes upon boxes of chirstmas candy, and the damn thing is still living..


Tam,
no snorting allowed over here..


Punker,
yeah, I need to get my bitch a kennel...she likes to wizz on my carpet even when she has been let out in the middle of the night.

Patti,
well she is still here licking asses an faces..haha

Bradley's Mom said...

I don't know what's worse......your hair situation or the dog situation.......

OY OY OY!!

xoxo
Linda

Gette said...

$2.94 box o' Revlon does it for me. With the butch look I can get two doses out of it.
I kennel our pooches up at night too. Saves my sanity.

Tom said...

Throughout all this.....where you are on the Clairol color chart...bangs or no bangs...I just keep this in mind. "Don't put salt in the applesauce!!!'"

Scarlet said...

Pictures! I want pictures!!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Ma Linda,
yeah, its a toss up alright,,

Gette,
I seroiusly need to Kennel mine, or kill her, not sure yet.

Tom,
thats some rad advice dude;)

Scarlet,
of what?

IamDerby said...

omg this was too funny. did you leave the sucker stuck to your bitch?

Flip Flop Momma said...

Iamderby,
nope, IO ripped it off like a bandaide;)

Cliff said...

Well if the dog licks in the correct order it's okay. You know, your face and then herself.

Jamie Dawn said...

That was FUNNY, and I DO mean FUNNY!!!
Your poor doggie was hauling along a sticky sucker.
Serves her right!
I bet Boo was sad about her Valentine's candy. You can get her some more. I saw some at 75% off at your favorite shopping locale, Walmart.
You can even wear your jammies there, you know!!

I hope your hair comes out totally RAD after you add the red. Please provide photographic proof of its awesomeness.

Have a nice weekend, and be nice to your doggie.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Cliff,
well, If only that was how she rolled.

*sigh*

Jaimie,
Boo has not even noticed her candy is gone, these kids are just not big candy eaters...thank goodness..

The Blog Whore said...

Sorry pool is closed. Until Mothers day. Then by all means, you are totally invited. But leave the dog at home.