Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The life of a 4 year old

My Boo, seen here..







well she is star of the week at her baby school. This means, me, as her mother got to attend a session of her tot school.



Now I am a pretty smart woman, I have a vast education in many areas, I have traveled the globe, I have birthed three tots, so I know some shit.


But, the four year olds I spent time with today made me nearly pee pee my pants.


here are some things I over heard at the baby school..


camy, your underwear is showing


Boo, your momma is shiny and pretty....(referring to my piercings)


I can do more summer saults then u


No u cant, I Practice everyday


I practice every hour...u come over after to school and I will SHOW u..


I gots to pee pee teacher


someone let a stinker teacher


yeah, 4 year old rock.

~

I had to run to Walmart last night, as I needed some milk for my tots...


I go, am greeted at the door...(which is really damn annoying)


I get my crap and I am in the check out.


My check out person...now I say person as for a long while we were unsure of the sex, because they have a beard...AND boobs as well as extensive hair on the arms, that like Robin Williams.


anyway, they are scanning my yogurt, my lettuce, my milk and my Lean Cusiene's..


I hand them my 20 dollar bill, she/he is getting my change and with the hand they are holding MY money in they decide it a perfect time to sneeze....ALL over my MONEY.


I told them to just drop my money in my bag, I got a small can of Lysol from the checkout line, bought it with some change in my purse, and sprayed my bag, my money, my everything..


Told them its a good idea to cover those sneezes because next time my shit gets sneezed on, I wont be so polite.


I leave Walmart, and again..I am greeted..


She thanks me for shopping here....


I tell her


it wont be happening again unless I am wearing surgical mask....do u sell those?


and I left.



GAWD I hate walmart.

42 comments:

Wethyb said...

Yah gotta love those toddler conversations. They're so damn cute tho!

I have a love/hate relationship w/ Walmart. I love the deals, but hate the store.

Fantastagirl said...

I told you shopping there was bad for your health!

Groovy Mom said...

So was the hairy checker a dude or a lady?

Rachel said...

Nothing like a hairy male/female checker out person that sneezes on your money. Good grief! You were wise to get the Lysol.

Anonymous said...

It is a woman!!

Flip Flop Momma said...

WethyB,
I think sometimes toddlers are smarter then us;)

Fantstagirl,
I need 2 start listening to u;)

Groovy,
your guess is as good as mine.

Rachel,
I sure love those baby cans, pure genius.

Connie,
R U sure I need a DNA sample .

Trukindog said...

If it had...wait a second I gotta let a stinker......................
Okay sorry, If it had been me I would have told the cashier to call a manager right away. when the manager arrived I would have asked them to give me change that had not been sneezed on or handled by the sneezer .

1 plus twins said...

gotta love the innocent and honesty of 4 yr olds!!

with that attitude you will never be hired as a greeter!!! lol

Flip Flop Momma said...

truckin,
Well, at this point I wanted to get outta there, I am sure i I am in there long enough I will get crabs...im just sayin;)

1pt,
Shit.....I think I just blew it.

The Egel Nest said...

Someone let off a stinker...lol

crap...that is funny...

I thought of you a lot at the Bon Jovi concert...I could totally picture you along with all the other chicks rockin' out :)


Bradley
The Egel Nest

Flip Flop Momma said...

Bro,
4 year olds are funny people...

and Im glad u thought of me, thats a good brother.

Katie said...

EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Katie,
No shit..it was not pleasant.

Humincat said...

I would have just used the spray without paying for it and put it back, being as it is THEIR fault, and I would have sprayed it in ITS hand, so as to degerm it a bit, ya know. You are kind and generous to have bought it.

Michael Manning said...

Oh God, I was laughing 3/4 of the way through this because an androgenous person checked out of line at a Safeway where I bought milk last night!!!! Full Moon maybe?

Shannon said...

I also would have used the Lysol, and then some of the Purell and put them back on the shelf. Last time we ventured to Wal-mart our cashier wasn't dealing with a full deck. She took so long, one of my kids turned a year older standing in the check-out line, lol.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Humincat,
Well, it took me a good 5 minutes to rip open the package, if it would of not been a box, I woulda just sprayed it....

But my luck if I woulda opened the box, used it and out it back, they woulda been charged with stealing..

MM,
there must be lots of those people out there..

Shannon,
well there was no Purell just a small bottle of Febreeze...

and my luck I woulda been charegd with stealing, and I cant be having that.

Anonymous said...

Well I know she gave birth to a child so i am assuming female, but i could be wrong. You never know these days!!

just_tammy said...

Funny new material for you to use and to think it was free!

I still haven't found the baby cans anywhere. Last night's adventure with the shemale could have been a full size encounter though in my mind.

Anonymous said...

We have talked to management several times about the way "she" looks and smells (her breath could gag a magot) but they have yet to do anything about it.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Connie,
Well, I find it hard anyone would get "her" into a postion to impregnate her;)

Tam,
I cant believe u guys dont have the baby cans...they are so very cute and cuddely.

Connie,
Wow...now thats bad..."she" also needs to wash that hair, I never seen dandruff flakes so big, and her hair just looks unclean..

SOme peoples kids I guess..

CMB said...

What a beauty. I too have a 4 year old, but he is a he. They do say the craziest - but greatest - things.
SO GROSS! What is WRONG with people/things? Who sneezes on some else's anything?
I do not blame you for spraying!

The Kept Woman said...

Wally World is pretty disgusting.

I was there last night b/c they used to have a really great candle and glass hurricane section and now? They're gone, not being sold there anymore. Figures...too high class. I'm just pissed I missed the clearance on the stuff.

CatScratch Diva said...

They should require a passport to go into Walmart.

I've given up on WalShart and taken to a slightly more expensive, yet no where near as annoying Target Super Center.

JoeInVegas said...

Why do you go, just because it is cheap? I hate the place, a huge one is closer to my house than any other store, and I have not stopped there in five years. If you don't like it then make the sacrifice and don't go.

Krystal said...

We don't have she/male, but we do have a black gay man in a county that is 98% white in the middle of the Bible Belt.

Seriously, that was disgusting what IT did.

Karin said...

My brother once said to me, "why is it that all Walmart employees look as though they had to fight a troll on their way to work." I guess we don't have enough trolls around here though because there are no Walmarts around.

I love young kids they are so cute. I think it is a defense mechanism to keeps us from smashing their little heads in at other times. I don't know how ugly kids make it to 5.

Scarlet said...

I want to go shopping with you! :)~

Flip Flop Momma said...

CMB,
maybe we can set out 4 year olds up together:)

TKW,
its a shame ur trip was for not..damn

Diva,
I drive 30 miles to Target, I love that damn place..it rocks.

Joe,
well, its either that, or a more disgusting store..

I dont buy anything but milk and the occasinal thing of underwear or sock...no clothes or anything..oh and I have got garbage bags there, napkins, lettuce...

But normally to buy anything worth a damn, I go else where, and to tell ya the truth, everythime i got to walmart, I come home with a story to tell, u cant beat that,


Krystal,
aww, poor black guy, i wonder if he feels outta place.


Karin,
I think your brother is right...he hasa point there..

and...your right, if they wernt cute sometimes, we would have to beat them:)


Scarlet,
come on down..

I mean up.

Tom said...

Bossy, you should only shop at Walmart for your NASCAR supplies!!

Doozie said...

oh dear..you made me laugh aloud for the first time in awhile. I hate when I can't tell the gender

lo said...

i hate walmart too! So much so that i travel over the border, always making sure that my passport is up to date, just to go to Target. Now if that isn't dedication i don't know what is.
Oh, on a side note i wanted to confess that i went to McD's drive thru this a.m (-32C) and had a cinamelt thingy you always talk about-we just got them here in Canada as we are a bit slow. Anyways, they are delice and i am now worried for my tummy area.....
Also, i have redone my site so come back and check it out already-then i will add your link again:)
Lo
http://www.laureleanderson.com

Flip Flop Momma said...

Tom,
they sell Nascar stuff?..sweet..haha

(ok whats nascar)

Dooze,
those male females will get ya everytime.

Lo,
Ok, thanks 4 the addy, I can NEVER find your site...I am adding it today so I dont forget where it is, cause when I to your profile, it isnt there..so thanks .

and becarful tose cinnomelts are addicting..trust me, this bitch knows.

Jamie Dawn said...

I never go to Walmart late at night, but I did a couple of nights ago. I was in there at about midnight, and it was like a whole new world.
They were restocking shelves, and there were forklifts all over the place. It was a hazard. There were only two checkouts open out of the usual 30. One was for 10 items or less and one was for people like me with lots of junk.
The guy was the slowest checker known to man, and I do believe he was mentally challenged. I was half way through unloading my stuff onto the belt when he said, "Hey could you bring your cart down here so I can load it up."
I almost said, "Sure, if you want to give me the rest of this stuff free."
If I was you, I would have had the nerve to say it! Poor, dumb guy.

Foster Communications said...

Freaking hilarious!!!! I would have loved to see the face on the she/he cashier when you bought the Lysol!!!!

And yes, 4 year olds do pretty much rock.

Tom said...

http://www.wallyworldlife.com

Hilarious walmart employee blog

Krystal said...

The black gay man is just fine with it. Black people can't stand gay men. He's safer here with the KKK.

I like the black cowboy we have. Listens to country, wears boots and hats, says "howdie" and tips his hat. First time I saw him he saw the shock on my face and grinned (I was messing with my purse on the way into the co-op...he was holding my door...I looked up to say thanks...first black guy I'd seen around here in a year). I grinned back. :)

Flip Flop Momma said...

hey guys, I might have a treat for u in my next post..

I a taking my video camera to karoke 2nite, so I may have some tunes 4 ya tommorw..

:)

Patti said...

I love the tots. Seriously.

You should have went ballistic on it's sneezing ass. Don't they know there is an f'ing flu pandemic????

Neurotic1 said...

Oh how I hate Walmart too. Do you wanna go to Dorcas' conference with his teacher tomorrow? I don't believe I will make it that long! I would never be the star mom! Shame on me!

Cliff said...

ewwww.

Southern Sage said...

Why would you let a stinker in class?