Friday, December 19, 2008

Ho-HO-ho

edit at bottom..



Well this time of year is upon us once again. Not only is it colder than witches tits and brass monkey balls or whatever I have heard flying around the playground, but its also the Holiday Season.

Nope, can't call it...Christmas.....

I'm just saying, you cant, or you will die or have flames shoot out your ass or whatever.

Every year at this time I swear the next year I will be a fully converted Jew. And I am even too lazy to do that.

Don't get me wrong, I want to celebrate the birth of the Savior as much as the next Non Jew guy, but alas, I hate everything that the HOLIDAY stands for anymore.

I hate the trees, I hate the shopping, I hate the wrapping, I hate the chaos it causes in my house and most of all I hate that the FIL feels the need to invite himself over at this time of year.

And well, I will leave it at that.

But he is coming after Christmas. Although he said that if the gas prices went up or if the weather was bad, he may not come.

So just for a couple days, I am hoping gas goes to about 20 bucks a gallon, so fill up now...

We are getting a snow storm this weekend, but I am sure the mess will be cleared enough by next week..unless the county road crews go on strike or something..I will rule nothing out.

I did finally put the tree back up, although I nearly had the bitched cleared out to the road after it fell over and all my good stuff was broken into a million pieces.

I thought the falling of the tree was a sign I should convert to the Jew life..

The hubs told me it was a sign we need to keep the cat outta the tree.

Whatever.

My baby Boo went got her ears pierced today. She wanted pink diamonds. Real ones.

Thats what she said.

She looks so cute with her pink diamonds.

The other day Boo and Blondie broke the wishbone from the turkey, I forgot all about it so it has been sitting in the window sill for almost a month now.

Before the girls broke it, I told them each to make a wish and I explained to Boo that if she got the bigger half her wish would come true..

gotta give the kids false hope sometimes, its the parental thing to do

So the girls made wishes and they broke it.

Boo got the bigger half, she was all smiles...

I asked her what she wished for, because you wonder what goes thru a 5 year olds head when wishes are concerned.

She told me this..

"you will see"

Like she thought it would appear from the sky at any moment.

I told her she better tell me so in case it comes and she is not here, I know what I am looking for.

She then informed me she wished for a unicorn.

So I have been watching the UPS guy every time he comes by, looking to see if he is packing a one horned mythical creature in the back of his truck.

So far, nothing..and the UPS man is hottest guy in town, I mean no one should look that good in brown pants and a big square truck, but honestly he is a beautiful man...like he belongs on a calender in his underwear kinda hottness. He has the best arms, the nicest legs..

Ok enough about that..but I would love to see him under my tree with a Santa hat.

Nothing but a Santa hat.

I'm just sayin.

I hope everyone has all their ducks in order for the holiday..

Nothing like waiting until the last minute. I know some people work well under pressure, and I am not one of them...well I am, but I do not like it.

Anyway, this will be my last post until the new year, unless something happens and I just have to tell you.

But I highly doubt it.

So I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and a Happy Hanuka..or whatever you celebrate.

Cuddle with the kids, snuggle with a bottle of your favorite liquor and get nasty with the Santa in your house, and if you are the Santa...go you!

Hope Santa is good to all of you..I am sure u have all been good boys and girls.

Love to all and..

Ho HO Ho. And Happy New Year



**..turns out i nearly severed my middle digit over the weekend...


wanna see?


i thought so u sick perv..


i have some stitches and a sore arm cause i had to get a damn tetnus shot as well.
so with that...have a darn good holiday.

39 comments:

aatank said...

You might be in luck if he is around our neck of the woods. The county quits plowing at 7:00 pm and they will start again in the morning. So that means with the 11 inches of snow we got today and the wind blowing it all night, he might be stuck. Plus we are suppose to have snow everyday up until Christmas. Plus, can't you just lie to him and tell him the weather is really bad there.

Hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

KrazyMom said...

Merry Christmas to you as well!

The UPS guy we had at my old employment was HOT also! We used to fight over who would go back to the warehouse and greet him when he arrived.

Best of luck with the FIL thing. I am lucky this time around, Hubbys family is great....and they don't come around often either. But man could I tell you horror stories about my ex-in laws! Maybe some day over some hard liquor!

Rocker_MoM said...

Tank,
Well, we will let him know not only are the roads shitty, but starting Monday we are in sub zeros for the week, that might make him stay back..because is certainly not man enough to handle 10 below zero;)

Krazymom,
I love the hubs family too, just not him...everyone else is great for the most part..he creeps me out in a child molster kinda way..it could be that at my high school graduated he tried to french kiss me..

God I need to go puke now.

Mrs. K said...

I just about hated the holiday too if I had to have another day like any of the ones I've had this week...by the way- don't convert- I married a Jew and well- not very festive. I like our parties...

Rocker_MoM said...

Mrs K,
Thats what I want, I am not festive at all the last few years...but I will be more than willing to still xmas parties that are serving good food and liqour.

Kim Ladd said...

Again, your words just ring true in every way! If you turn jew - lemme know. I may convert with you. I too am tired of the hub bub of the holiday's.

Even though the holiday's are a hassle, I do wish you a very merry "holiday" with your fam!

Rocker_MoM said...

Kim,
not only do we need 2 go to jew class 2gether, we also need to move to the southern hemisphere as soon as I get my pilot paid up:)

Merry Xmas my dear!

aceswyf said...

I'm kind of grinchy this year. I haven't done any shopping yet, and now we have snow, which isn't bad by any means, only an inch, but people here seem to think that a snow flake is somehow a nuclear bomb and react as such...so I hate having to drive on the same roads as these people.

I hope you guys have a merry *whisper*Christmas*whisper* and a great New Year!!!

Humincat said...

I think you should find a pretty toy unicorn and wrap it in special wrapping paper and write with your left hand "FROM SANTA." Then you could feel like a good person while you cheated with the UPS guy in your mind. I always try to match up a good deed with an evil one, like a 10 minute visit to the gym and a 10 minute drive-thru run.

Rocker_MoM said...

aceswyf,
well nuclear bombs can be dangerous I suppose;)..its snowing here now, we are under a snow warning...Fuck I hate winter.

Humincat,
I should, but I prolly wont, these damn kids have more shit then they need, I might do it after xmas as a specail little gift..

I always try and match a good dead with a bad one, but mostly I dont care..haha

Merry Xmas girls.

Shannon said...

Merry Christmas!!!!

Rocker_MoM said...

I just got home from geting my middle finger stiched back on....

I am going back 2 bed..

Merry xmas Shannon:)

Bee Repartee said...

Dang girl you always crack me up. Have a very merry Christmas, UPS man or not. :)

Scarlet said...

Ouch! That looks painful! Maybe the UPS guy can kiss your finger and make it all better...in nothing but his Santa hat. lol

Love this post!

Merry Christmas!! :)

Haphazardkat said...

You SEE what you get for flippin' Christmas off? Hmm? HMM??
What have we learned her, little Missy? HMM?
I'm thinkin' that an injection from the UPS man's magical "horn" might cheer you up.
I'm breakin' a turkey bone for ya ;)

Feel the love, Chickie. Feel the love.

Kel said...

Well, I guess that's what you get for saying you doubted anything exciting would happen between now and the first of the year.

Yeouch. What exactly were you doing? You know, so I'm sure I don't ever make that same mistake.

Krystal said...

Eeeeeeewwww!

I get you on the Christmas thing. A lot of people don't like what Christmas has begun. It should be about giving to people who NEED instead of $5 gift exchange here and another one there until you've spent $100 on useless nicknack crap no one truely wants anyway. Do you know how much food could have been purchased and given to Food Line for that $100?!

People have totally lost sight of what it's all about.

Wendy said...

Hope that finger heals up soon! Hurts me lookin at it! As for UPS guys...I'm dating mine...snicker.

Jamie Dawn said...

Eeeww!! So now it will be hard for you to flip the bird since that middle finger is all cut and swollen and hitonious.
Boo is so cute. I hope she gets her unicorn.
I don't want gas prices to rise, so I'll just hope that a snow blizzard keeps your FIL away.
I could not convert to being a Jew because I just love Christmas too too too much. I am a Christmas fiend. We fly tomorrow to CA to spend Christmas there. I will stay in CA until mid-January. I am going to have one kid in college on the east coast and one kid in college on the west coast. The empty nest is upon me. On New Year's Day, Taylor and i drive down to my brothers which is where Taylor will live whilst attending school. I'm staying there too for a couple of weeks before heading back to AR.
I wish you lots of laughter and fun and yummy food this Christmas.
I also wish you a happy, healthy, bountiful New Year.
It's great having you for a blog buddy.

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Rocker_MoM said...

thanks everyone..i do have some good news, the FIL is NOT coming now...oh glory days.

Lola said...

OUCH! Hope you heal well. The things you will do to get out of chores...i tell you!
BTW you should take a pic of the UPS man to keep by your bed. THAT should help your recovery!
Now don't be gone too long as I will miss your writing!!!!
Lo

catrina said...

Merry CHRISTMAS to you, too! Yes, I said it! My memories of Christmases past (with the ex and his sorry excuse of a family) aren't pretty...such as the year that the CMIL ('C' stands for CRAZY) got everyone gifts except for me. My wonderful FIL gave me a Kennedy half dollar cuz that's all he could find. Then she made us eat dinner at 9 a.m. because my parents had paid for us to fly home form Cali and I thought we should have Christmas dinner with them. The Beyotch cooked a goose---and it was nasty!!
But this year I have 25 people coming on Christmas Eve. After the food, frivolity and present-opening chaos hubby and I will sit with a glass of wine and reflect on how lucky we are. I hope you can do the same.

Rachel said...

Oh my word, but that is nasty looking, and just in time for the holidays! I hope it is mending well and you will soon be able to flip folks again. I actually got in the Christmas (no flames from my bohunkus!!) spirit and put up some decorations throughout the house this year. Mostly in hubby's room.

We have no snow but it's sunny and cold. Last night was in the single digits.

I hope you and your family have a truly wonderful Christmas!

Wethyb said...

Eww, that looks incredibly disgusting...and painful! Hope it feels better soon.

You have a great Christmas and New Year too! Try to stay warm!!!

Shannon said...

Looks like a good one, lol. Hang in there.

JoeinVegas said...

Hmm, and just how did you almost get your middle finger cut off? Just who were you flipping?

Jen - Queen of Poo said...

Ouch. That picture made my whole body hurt.

Merry Christmas!

Stay away from sharp objects.

Humincat said...

EWW, why did I look?! (And yeah, I am going to school to be a nurse, whatever.) Anyway, my wish-gift to you is a good job that is very flexible and comes with a high salary. Merry Christmas!

Rocker_MoM said...

thanks everyone...have a great Xmas!

I will explain about the finger in a later post;)

namaste said...

MERRY CHRISTMAS, rocker mom! hope you heal quick and feel better soon!

goooooood girl said...

your blog is feel good......

The Doozie said...

I am a person who would look at your gross picture but it doesn't enlarge, dammit! Guess we'll have to wait a year to hear what happened.

The ups guy sounds like he could easily convert to a unicorn should the need "arise"

deni said...

I'm BACK! OUCH, OMG that looks like something I would do, hope it's better.

And I hope you and yours had a great Christmas, oops, guess that wasn't politically correct.

OH WELL!

Now about that UPS guy...

Monogram Queen said...

Hon I just checked in and scrolled down.. Eeeeeekkkk!!!! You've got Frankenfinger!

Hope it doesn't hurt too bad (or scare/nauseate your poor family).

I'm all heart, I tell ya. All heart.

Choppzs said...

Sounds like Christmas was exciting on your end! lol I'd seriously throw my cat outside if it wrecked my tree! lol That's why we don't have cats!

Scarlet said...

Tag!

(and Happy New Year!!)

Jeff said...

Gross! You just HAD to go and add the finger at the bottom now didn't you? ;-b

Humincat said...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!