the living years

Last night I had the tv on, because I am not of Amish decent and I do require an electronic feed at all times, it keeps my heart in rhythm.

There was a movie on HBO that I have seen, and I hate it. I hate it because it makes me sad, depressed and hypertensive..(that means gives me high blood pressure for u non Internet medical degree holders), yet I watched it anyway, knowing full well what was going to happen to me.

Not only did I have the shittiest dreams, but now I have all sorts of things I think I need to do before the big day gets here.

What big day am I referring to you ask?..

My demise.

Yes folks, I need to stop watching the damn movie The Bucket List before I end up doing random acts of kindness to strangers or heck, adopt an orphan.

It does get me thinking of shit I would like to accomplish or do before that tragic day shall arise.

I was thinking maybe I should try and do some more traveling, something more scenic then a trip to Michigan or New Mexico...

I am thinking somewhere like Ethiopia, and maybe kill two birds with one stone and bring home a car full of tots that need some oatmeal and a kool aide juice box.

I would also like to attend a black tie affair..Never in my life have I even been invited to such an event. I want to go and show up with a red tie..

I would like to have enough money to purchase a helicopter..I don't know where i would store such a mode of transportation, but I just think it would be nice to say I had one.

I would like to set up arranged marriages for my tots, so they don't end up with losers I need to put a hit out on. I see nothing wrong with an arranged marriage, look how well it works out for all those cults in Utah. They all seem on the up and up.

I don't want to do anything boring like jump out of planes or see the great wall of china..I want to do bigger and better things.

Like own a copter, cause whats cooler then that?

Anyway. enough of that...

I forgot to give you the horrid facts last post, so i will give u a double dose today, cause I like to play fair and nice.

*Cockroaches can make themselves super-slim and can flatten their bodies to a size just a little thicker than a piece of paper to crawl into cracks.

*An American Delicacy called Headcheese is made by cooking a whole cow or pig head into a mush and letting it coll down into a jelly like state.

*A smelly fart contains the same gas as found in rotten eggs

*when you sneeze,all your body functions stop-even your heart stops beating. A very long sneezing fit and cause a heart attack.

There you go...

enjoy...happy sneezing.