Sunday, June 08, 2008

Mr Roboto

i have made a sad but funny edit at bottom


The hubs came home from Mexico, and flipped the mattress, took the curtains down and moved everything around...



Guess what he found?


Not a Goll Damn thing..



I know your wondering...have I seen it since?




Well the answer is no because I absolutely refuse to turn that way or even glimpse with one eye open over in that direction.




I have decided, I am willing to share my room with him, as long as he stays on the wall or in my mind, where ever he may be...and leave me the hell alone.



So I still have not got to the bottom of this one bit..




Am I crazy?..possibly




Is there a spider the size of lake Michigan in my room?...doubtful..



Anyway...moving along..




Do any of you ever watch HGTV? I use to think it was full of all sorts of helpful and useful ideas and tips.


Now I think its a channel that is meant for stupid people. I am a stupid people. Because I cant stop watching.




My favorite show on there is House Hunters. For you smart people who don't watch this channel, its a show where people with way too much money go looking for a house and they show them three options, and at the end u guess what house they picked.





Now most of the time they pick the worst of the options and I don't get it.



You will see a single woman, looking for a vacation home in Mexico and when the real estate woman shows her the bedroom or the bathroom she will complain about how small the rooms are.




Why do u need big rooms if its just you?





Why do people think bigger is better?





Because its not...



Or you will see a family looking for a home with small kids, and instead of picking the house with the nice fenced in yard and nice sized bedrooms, they pick the over priced house sitting on a highway with no yard for the tots to play in.




I wanna bitch slap some of these people.




But months of watching this has made hubs want to leave here.


So this summer while I am sitting here with the tots, I will be single handledy working on my house here so we can put it for sale this fall.




There is not a lot that needs to be done, but I am going to repaint nearly everything, re dry the living room, add solid oak floors to the living room, to match the dining rooms original flooring, I am going to put in ceramic tile flooring in kitchen, granite counter tops and then add crown molding throughout the house.





So pretty soon i will be showing you before and after pics..


cause that's how I roll.


We decided to go south, when we get the house done, he is putting his resume on line and is going to talk with ever head hunter who calls him, because he gets a lot calling for him anyway.



We decided on South Carolina, Georgia, or Florida.


I don't want to go anymore north or west..cause I'm selfish and wont do it.







I'm hoping by this time next year I am happily transplanted to where God meant for me to be. Sipping a pine colada in Margaritaville under a palm tree.




Living in this city for the last 4 years has made me realize there are mostly scummy icks that live in this town...and I am starting to get a greasy film on my skin and rooftop.



I am so much better then this city could ever offer, I'm too classy to live here.



And I see it fully now...




Anyway, some of you have been asking for some recent pics...so here are some from the last couple weekends including this one.






















Thats me, and a pal of mine who also loves the karaoke..

























of course, there is me, karaoke gal and my bff.....pale girl..































me and pale girl...






































































*
*


this is from Friday night.




Anyway, I better go cause I have a film building on me now from this city..





i am starting a get flip flop momma to florida faster fund...

hubs says we can not put house 4 sale until all improvements are done. which he thinks to last aout nine months. Since I am paying 4 school on my own, my home improvement fund is very limited.

so if u care to donate...please do so..

go to www.paypal.com

click send money...enter my email raspberry_beret3@yahoo.com

u may need to make an account if u dont have one..

donate one dollar or 1 million dollars...those granite counter tops aint gonna buy themselves.

once i get to my tropical oasis, your all invited for a karaoke party.

now 4get about the starving kids in africa...this bitch needs to get outta this hell.

im adding my paypal link to the side bar..

im gonna remind u all to donate daily..

kinda like tkaing your vitamin or taking out the trash.

40 comments:

Peggy said...

SC??? Cool! We will be neighbors almost. You do know you will be trading cold and snow for Hot and I do mean hot weather and humidity? Its 103F here today with heat index of 110F and I am in NC. SC is even hotter. Its not even summertime yet... it gets worse. But at least its only for 2 or 3 months. The rest of the year is great LOL

Flip Flop Momma said...

Peggy,
its way better then 50 below zero for 4 months outt there year...


trust me..

Haphazardkat said...

pppppppppppppale girl!!!!!!!!
*screams all Ophrah crowd girlie like and tugs at my hair*
pppppppppppppppale girlllllll!!!!!!
*faints*
*awakes*
*ssssssssscreams*
*faints*
repeat.rinse.repeat.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Kat,
I knew u would enjoy this.s.I JUST knew it!

Tom said...

I hope it's Greenville/Spartanburg SC! It's like a second home. Spartanburg has more cool people in it...Greenville too many Bible Thumpers...Great pix!

just_tammy said...

At least hubby came through on his promise to go all spider hunter...please reward his efforts or check to see if he has you booked into the nut house.

Love HGTV. It makes me feel superior. 'Of course that's why your house hasn't sold, moron! The potential buyers can't even get through the door!' They don't listen to me, but someone usually manages to get through to them. So true about House Hunters...

I knew haphazardkat was going to be thrilled with the pale girl pictures. So easy to please...

Yeah, head for the warmth and light you crave. We all want you to be happy! I look forward to critiquing your home improvements. Thanks to HGTV I am an expert on the workmanship and the resale value...

Flip Flop Momma said...

Tom,
im hoping 2 go farther south then SC but we will see.

Tam,
Oh I fancy myself an expert too..all thanks to HGTV and Trading Spacing..

hell yeah

Scarlet said...

I think you should move to Florida because we happen to have a nice place called Margaritaville down in the Keys and I think they do karaoke 24/7. There's another place not too far away where they hold "Full Moon Parties" ...and no, it's not what you're thinking! LOL

Good luck w/ everything! Love your pics. You have a great tan! Pale girl should join you in the sun sometime! She's probably not that white in person, but next to you she looks ghostly. She's very pretty though.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Scarlet,
no she is even paler in person!

the camera makes her look darker then she is:)

Haphazardkat said...

Fie on those whom would seek to change the color of my pale goddess!
Bow before her alabastar'ness! Bow I say!

Shannon said...

Woohoo, come on down!!! We rarely have a snow day. You will be tickled pink and laugh athow we refuse to drive on ANY white stuff at all, whatsoever, lol. Only, it has been 100 degrees here for several days now. We are melting.
Could it be possible that pale girl is getting paler?

Rachel said...

I have just read your last 3 posts and I was laughing so hard over this spider thing!! He/she is probably living in a crevice around the window if it's on the curtain...maybe? I thought it was funny the way you kept changing the size of it!! I expected you to say it was as big as Texas any minute!! LOL I have one living in this room and I finally saw it..but it's nickel size. I'm letting him live a few days longer before I murder him. It's no where near my bed though!

Thanks for making me laugh so hard! I needed that!!

I love HGTV, and I enjoy House Hunters. Moving south....whoo-hoo!! I don't blame you. I don't think I'd want to live where it's so cold.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Kat,
ur crazy and I love u.

Shannon,
I think she is gettin paler..its like the sun has a reverse effect on her.

Rachel,
im glad u enjoy my torment..haha

if i find that bastard...he is sooo gonna be dog meat..

doozie said...

oh yeah...well are you going to go ahead and desert pale friend, etc? and move away? that is sad. I hear florida has a lot of robbers and rapists. Do I wanna donate? no , I don't, because I am not really able to pay my bills right now and we are eating cardboard and whatever else we can scrounge from the forest

Flip Flop Momma said...

Doozer,i like robbers as log as I see a palm tree..

hmm, maybe i need to make a donation 4 u so u can upgrade from carboard to wood.

~Deb said...

Oh hell, don't make me put more spiders on your Myspace page babe! ;)

Wait - House Hunters? My girlfriend watches that all the time.

We. don't. have. money.

I try to remind her of this little tidbit.

No such luck.

Love the pictures!!!!!!

Gette said...

There are some really freaky people in Florida, too. Jus' sayin. Don't get your hopes up...

1 plus twins said...

what is pale girl gonna do without you????

Choppzs said...

I can't even donate to my own funds! lol

I need funds for the

"Momma needs to get out more" charity!

sweets said...

pale girl looks sick... does she ever get out into the sun??? LOL

unfortunately no money for you... i'm broke and my money is worth nothing... so good luck with that :)~

Southern Sage said...

haaaaaaaaaaaaa
sunshine u might wanna second guess Fl. And prolly ga. I dunno about in the artic where you live but the temp here, is surface of the sun, in the shade and fires of hell not in the shade. Just sayin.
I'm thinking the spider is a shadow!
Hit it with one of your high heeled hooker shoes and see if it dies/runs/jumps/ or stays there!

Like your hair.
did I just say that?
how limp wristed is that?

Flip Flop Momma said...

Deb,
oh dont u even think about putting anymore spiders there...dang u woman.

Gette,
well the people I have met in FL are weird, but not scummy like they are here...I have lots of extended fam there...

so we can all be weird 2gether.

1PT,
im sure she will move w/me..haha

Choppzs,
u need to start a fund...im just sayin...enough to buy a bottle of vodka anyway.

Sweets,
yup...she does look sickly sometimes, cause she has NO color at all in her face..im not sure what to do with that girl.

SS,
the couple summers I spent in FL were like the best years of my life..haha

But I LOVE GEorgia too...I would love to go to savanna, but its damn pricey to live there..

but i cant go anywhere till I get my house ready 2 sell..

damn fucken house..

just_tammy said...

You have campaigned for funds before but you have never put up a link before. Think you are definitely desparate! Why don't you start with the free things this week like decluttering and sorting so hubs knows you are serious? So not fun but necessary. Think one of the clean house shows that make me feel so neat, tidy, and superior...Don't forget that you don't want to be the most expensive house in the neighborhood. Man, I need to lay off the HGTV...

Flip Flop Momma said...

tam,
I already have a pile set aside for a garage sale..

Im repainting the rooms all a neutral color, adding the hardwoods in LR and granite and ceramic tile to kitchen..

just gonna repaint bathroom and maybe new flooring..

thats all that needs to be done..

but it all costs money..

and i have limted amounts of that right now..haha

just_tammy said...

You are serious if you have already done the sorting and are ready for a garage sale. That might net enough to cover some of the paint. Maybe you can hire the kids out since they are out of school. Kids tend to be more helpful to others than at home. Sad but true...Now what can they do to earn their keep and help out with the home repairs?!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Tam,
oh im DEAD seroius!!..haha

No one has even dontated to my cause yet..

sonsabitches..

I have a lot to sell, so im hoping to fund maybe flooring 4 the kitchen with it..haha

Dame Wonder said...

wow. sounds like you're about to put a lot of time and money in to sell your house. we want to sell too but it's fairly new, so not much work to put in, thank god.

so you're starting a fund, huh? hahahaha!! you're a nut, you know that. who doesn't love you?

hey and i like your hair too. sage, that's not limp-wristed, that's sweet.

Bradley's Mom said...

Hello dear:

Wow! I didn't know you were so desperate to move South!

Well, of course I wish you the very best in whatever you decide!

If only I could donate, I would. As it stands right now, we are struggling bigtime, so I need a fund too!

Love you!
Linda

Groovy Mom said...

If you move south, I'll be jealous. Really jealous.

Cool pics!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Dame,
well, we just bought this house 4 years ago..(not even)..it does not need anything done, but we want to make upgrades so we can get the most out of it when we sell it..

spedning 5 grand on granite counters, adds 20,000 to the resale value..adding hardwoods adds at leasr 15-20 grand..

see, ya gotta think bout those things..haha

Ma,
I think we are all in the same boat, everyone is struggleing to get by...and its sad really...

Groovy,
dont be jelous when we go..u can come 4 a visit and we can go sing..

its all good.

Janell said...

Good luck with the Florida fund. You and your flipflops will fit in down there real good.
Sorry I can't make a donation. I give all my extra money to my 2horses.

catscratch diva said...

Yay! Georgia is close by!

If I wasn't poor white trash with two ungodly ridiculous mortgages on two worthless houses myself, I'd donate for shizzly.

JoeinVegas said...

Why are you still going to school if you will be moving - will you not have to then go to school in that state to be licensed?
And what of pale girl? (she really is pale) Oh, a replacement? No . . .

We have HGTV on all the time. And yes, stupid people.

Flip Flop Momma said...

janell,
fine feed the horses..I will just sell ur grandkids to get my counter tops..hahahahahahahahahahaha

Diva,
ohh...close 2 u...Hell yeah bitches.

JOe,
well, I dont need to get re-liscned, just take their test, thats all...

stupid stupid people..

cathouse teri said...

So, you're moving to The South, are ya? Well good for you!

It's all new to me. Quite a culture shock.

gina said...

I hear ya! I am on a push -that increases with intensity every Massachusetts winter I suffer- to move South. Sunshine, pools and pina coladas are my cup o' tea- so to speak. :)

Flip Flop Momma said...

Teri,
cultrue shocks are good..I went thru one when I moved here..haha

Gina,
care 2 join me?

Greeneyes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

you look great in the pics , still love that haircut/Do!
Good MAN of yours to move everything for the "Crazy Spider Lady !! ROTFLMAO!
I hope he got brownie points HAHA

Wish you great aim while striking !!

just another MOM

flea said...

k I haven't been here in like FOREVER and I'm getting caught up, so when did you

a)cut your hair
& b) dye it red?

honestly it looks really quite fab, but I almost didn't know it was you...

i think i'll crawl back in under my rock that I came out from now..