Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Posted by eyes_only4him at 7:51:00 PM
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
My life is in shrambles. Is that even a word? I don't know, if its not, I am copy writing that bitch.
At least the weather is starting to look up, a little. I thought I saw the sun one day, but that could of been a momentary lapse of reason or some other medical malfunction.
I went and bought a Wii and Wii Fit over the weekend. Like I don't spend enough time doing physical activity. Between the 3 hours a day I spend at the gym, the hours I spend chasing the animals and my 5 year old, and my personal best which is done under lock and key in my nice king size bed, but thats another story..
According to this Wii Fit thing, I am 44 years old, simply because I can not maintain a good center of balance. how do they know I don't suffer from some sort of balance disorder, and them telling me I am 44 just set me off to the roof top. Do they care?
I'm thinking not.
I masted a couple of the activities, like Hoola Hoops..( I have some hot hip action, don't be hatin).
I rather like the bowling. The Hubs and I were playing and I swear to God he puts such force in his throw u swear he is holding a 20 pound ball. I tell him that he needs to take it easy before he pulls something. You are indeed not really holding a ball my dear, so back off before you clock me in the face.
I kicked his ass at tennis, bowling and of course, the hoola hoops. I am that good.
Ok, I have another gym story, I know how you guys love that shit, and I like to deliver. I am a people pleaser.
So I am at the gym, and this really nice looking guy is on the bike.(i dont know why all the crazies are good looking)just come off of my 45 minute run on the treadmill and am heading towards the bikes for a 20 minute ride..
All the good stuff happens at the bike area, I have noticed that.
Anyway, he has a remote and is surfing, and we all know I hate surfing. he lands on one of those religious channels. thats all fine and good, I don't care, I don't watch anyway..
After a while I think I start hearing things from his mouth, but since my Ipod is up kinda loud, I am not sure. So I turn it down a bit so I can listen.
Sure enough, its what I thought I heard..
Yup, out loud, in the gym.
Not that there is anything wrong with that, it was just kinda distracting...because the only person who knew he was watching that was me..cause you can not hear it unless you are wearing the ear plugs for the tv..
before too long he is shouting to the Lord Almighty and praising his works..
We both got done around the same time, when he was done I walked by him to get the spray to clean off my bike..we meet at the paper towel station.
" nothing like a good workout with the Lord"
"yup, sure enough,,shalom my friend"
"right on sexy"
so we go from praising Jesus, to sexual harassment.
And I liked it.
Posted by eyes_only4him at 8:34:00 PM
Thursday, January 15, 2009
This week has been for shit. Am I allowed to say that or will they bleep it out?
Its been a bitter cold week. They delayed school Monday, they cancelled school today. Its 30 below zero right now and with the wind its about 50 below. I know, don't be hatin on me, you could have this too if you really wanted it.
Lets see, what can I complain about today? I am sure I can think of something.
Since my mom moved in, my mood seems to be a tad, well, shitty. I know we had no choice but to let her stay here, not like I could let her live in a van down by the river. Because she does not have a van. And we have no river, just a lake.
She is constantly whistling and eating. We could eat a 12 course meal, that I prepared of course, and ten minutes after we eat, she is digging thru my house looking for more food. She reminds me of some sort of wildebeest out in the savanna, not knowing when its next meal will come, so it eats any meal it finds, hoping it wont be its last, but just in case it is, they will die satisfied.
i have been going to the gym alot because being in my own house is making me want to beat things.
While I was at the gym the other day a fairly nice looking man got on an piece of equipment next to me. He looked to be in his late 40's early 50's..Looked reasonable enough, like a smart fella. Maybe played t-ball and was a boy scout.
There are tv's all over the gym, in front of all the machines, I never grab a remote and ear pieces because I bring my Ipod, and thats all a woman needs. But I do tend to read lips or read the closed captioning of the shows they are watching.
This man was channel surfing, which in itself was annoying. First we were watching something about a horse stud service or something, the stud was paid 150,000 to screw a lady horse..I'm thinking, holy toots.
Then he landed on a channel and left it there.
For brief moment I thought I was being hurled into some violent time warp that sucked me back home..where Idid not want to be.
He was watching the Disney Channel.
Now granted, Hannah Montana and The Suite life of Zach and Cody are good shows, if your between the ages of 5 and 12, but mother of God, I knew right then he must be one of those who rode the short bus..
I kept looking at him, looking at the tv, then looking at him again.
He says.."do u mind if I have this on?"
Me, is he talking me?..Why would I care what this man who is obviously still breastfeeding watches?
I told him watch what he wants, and that I found it funny he watches the same think I thought my 5 year old was watching at this very minute.
This was him..
" great, i love this episode"
what a douche bag.
I tried picturing my dad at a gym, channel surfing..Because the guy looked about my dads age.
I could picture my dad landing on the news, the golf channel, or hell, the playboy channel.
I could tell this was a very sick man. The kind that follows kids around asking them what happen on Drake and Josh last night because he missed it because he had some sort of board meeting that ran late.
I should of asked for his number.
its cold out...did I say that already?
crap I think I did.
Well, if my car starts I'm just gonna go to the gym right now.
My mom is whistling, my son is playing with army guys and making shooting sounds, my girls are watching a movie and giggling, the dog is barking, oh wait, now mom is in the cupboard I can here bags restling is hungry again...
I'm outta here.
Posted by eyes_only4him at 9:26:00 AM
Sunday, January 11, 2009
I will make this short and sweet, as to save you time on reading worthless crap.
I am so damn stressed out right now, I cant even think straight. I have been spending more time then I should at the gym, just to get out of this house before there is bloodshed of any kind.
My 5 year old never stops talking, even in the bathroom she talks when she is sleeping she talks.. it never ends, My nearly 12 year doesn't stop fixing his hair and sassing me, my almost 9 year old wont stop being cute, my mother wont stop eating, and my hubs wont put the dishes away.
My dog wont stop barking to go outside, she likes to play in the snow, my cat wont stay off my pillow at night.
Its everyone in this damn house. They are all killing me slowly.
I know when its my time to go its my time to go...so I am prepared.
The year that was suppose to put me first for once, is turning into being the fucking opposite.
And its wearing on whats left of my nerves. Every year I am shoved to the side, because I make sure everyone else is ok and taken care of..I take care of people who don't even live in my house for Gods sake.
I give up...
And I just don't feel close to any of my friends anymore. Hell I don't even call them anymore, or have the need/want to.
Most of my friends only want to talk about themselves, and never ask about whats going on with me...and I never tell them, cause they never ask. Its all about them.
I am drained.
Over the years this has wore me down.
This is me..I am wore down.
Thats all I got.
Posted by eyes_only4him at 5:29:00 PM
Monday, January 05, 2009
Last night I had the tv on, because I am not of Amish decent and I do require an electronic feed at all times, it keeps my heart in rhythm.
There was a movie on HBO that I have seen, and I hate it. I hate it because it makes me sad, depressed and hypertensive..(that means gives me high blood pressure for u non Internet medical degree holders), yet I watched it anyway, knowing full well what was going to happen to me.
Not only did I have the shittiest dreams, but now I have all sorts of things I think I need to do before the big day gets here.
What big day am I referring to you ask?..
Yes folks, I need to stop watching the damn movie The Bucket List before I end up doing random acts of kindness to strangers or heck, adopt an orphan.
It does get me thinking of shit I would like to accomplish or do before that tragic day shall arise.
I was thinking maybe I should try and do some more traveling, something more scenic then a trip to Michigan or New Mexico...
I am thinking somewhere like Ethiopia, and maybe kill two birds with one stone and bring home a car full of tots that need some oatmeal and a kool aide juice box.
I would also like to attend a black tie affair..Never in my life have I even been invited to such an event. I want to go and show up with a red tie..
I would like to have enough money to purchase a helicopter..I don't know where i would store such a mode of transportation, but I just think it would be nice to say I had one.
I would like to set up arranged marriages for my tots, so they don't end up with losers I need to put a hit out on. I see nothing wrong with an arranged marriage, look how well it works out for all those cults in Utah. They all seem on the up and up.
I don't want to do anything boring like jump out of planes or see the great wall of china..I want to do bigger and better things.
Like own a copter, cause whats cooler then that?
Anyway. enough of that...
I forgot to give you the horrid facts last post, so i will give u a double dose today, cause I like to play fair and nice.
*Cockroaches can make themselves super-slim and can flatten their bodies to a size just a little thicker than a piece of paper to crawl into cracks.
*An American Delicacy called Headcheese is made by cooking a whole cow or pig head into a mush and letting it coll down into a jelly like state.
*A smelly fart contains the same gas as found in rotten eggs
*when you sneeze,all your body functions stop-even your heart stops beating. A very long sneezing fit and cause a heart attack.
There you go...
Posted by eyes_only4him at 2:52:00 PM
Sunday, January 04, 2009
So the new year is off with a deafening bang, wouldn't y'all say? Yes, yes I sure would. That ringing in your ears, that's not a remnant of your drunken stooper from new Years eve, thats the new year trying to get into the depths of your conscience. Is it working?
So far this year I have managed to not break any resolutions, because i am just that good. I have went to the gym nearly everyday and have managed to not do any bodily harm to anyone..yet.
Don't get me wrong I know its only like day 4, but this is big stuff here.
Let me ask you smart, educated humans a question..Is it wrong I wont let my tots go out and play when its 4 below zero? I see the neighbor kids out, even sledding down OUR hill, and yet I wont let my own heathens out of doors unless its at least 20 degrees. Now when I was a kid, the cold never bothered me as it does not my tots..BUT Michigan winters are much warmer then a hearty Minnesota winter.
When the air temperature is anything below zero, why do u let tots outside? Do you want their poor defenseless bodies to end up in a frozen tundra or a frost bitten mess?
Nancy Grace would have a field day with that shit right there.
And while my kids are at school they are forced to go out for recess unless the air temp is 20 below...Holy toots know.
I have my own written rule for my kids at the school..If its so cold the mucus freezes in my eye while I am out getting the mail, my tots stay indoors for recess and do things like read, scrub toilets or grade papers.
I just don't see the point in it..going out doors when its that cold. Frankly I don't understand how people in Alaska function. One of my daughters friends just moved there this summer, and during the day, not only is there no sunshine hardly, but the high temps are around 35 below zero.
To that I say?
How do u function? Is work AND school cancelled for everyone? One day it was 56 below zero there, sure it got that cold here about 2 years ago, and they did not shut anything down but my good mood. Here I think its bad when its 20 below, I just am not sure I can handle it any colder then that, cause well, I am a wuss.
I got my hair highlighted yesterday...just thought I would let u know.
Oh, yes...the hubs is having another one of his "episodes"..they come and go and I never mention anything about them, cause well, not like you really care..But each time they come back they are worse..
Now its effecting his speech, his facial muscles, and he says he feels like he sometimes has needles in his ass..
I'm just sayin..
I took him to the doctor the other day and they are sending him out again, it didn't do much good last time, so who knows.
Where the hell is Dr.House when u need him? Sometimes a good jackass comes in handy.
I'm just sayin.
Posted by eyes_only4him at 3:06:00 PM
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Posted by eyes_only4him at 12:40:00 PM