Sunday, December 07, 2008

What I am is what I am...

So we did the Christian thing over the weekend and placed a live tree in the confines of my dwelling. I have big time issues with the whole tree in my house thing. its not that I hate Christmas trees per-say, its just I think cutting down a live tree to place lights and ornaments on it, is like murdering a good tree..

Ok, who I am kidding, I don't really give a shit about that, its the mess I don't like. The needles, the boxes you have to bring down from the attic, the chaos, the mess, the broken light strands, the ornament hooks falling on the ground for an unsuspecting foot to step on which in turn will cause a trip to the ER and a good tetanus shot.

I just can not handle my house in disarray. It makes me crabby and causes me to have bloating and bad gas.

The whole tree thing is just a puzzle to me to begin with. I just do not see the fascination with putting a tree, living or plastic, inyour home. I swear when my kids move out, I will not be putting a tree up anymore..My baby boo thinks Santa won't come if the tree is not in place.

That damn Santa anyway..Who needs him?

I sure as hell do not need him. He gets all the credit for all the good shit I buy for those tots.

Although my 6th grader knows that Santa is going through an economic crisis, the other two do not realize this.

It is going to be hard to explain to the tots why Santa only left them a pack of gum, tic tacs, and some underwear.

But hell, those things always come in handy. You can never have too much underwear..

And why do people call it a "pair" of underwear, when clearly, all underwear is worn in the singular form, unless you have some rare birth defect and have been afflicted with two asses..and then I apologize.

Here is the tree.



Notice my baby girl...She is wearing jeans, and fashionable sweater with a nice dress overlay. She loves to dress herself.

I have been told about this job. To be a reporter for our local paper. Someone is suppose to get a hold me me this week. I am unsure I want to do this, yet I think it may be very entertaining, and this bitch loves to be entertained.


Namaste said...

your daughter looks so cute! the girl rocks her own style like her momma.

we used to do the real tree. now we just pop her out of a box already lit. yessss!


KrazyMom said...

I wouldn't trade my pre-lit fake tree for anything! Way too convenient.

Boo is growing up so fast! What a cutie!

Best wishes on the job.

Rocker_MoM said...

Yeah, I had one of those prelite ones once, but it did not have enough lights on it for me..I am a light whore.

again, those pre lite ones do not have enough lights for me, but they are fuss no muss..

Boo is growing like a mad weed..It kinda makes me sad.

Scarlet said...

Cute pic of Boo. Love her smile and getup...and that POSE. It definitely comes from her momma. ;)

The tree's fancy...I'll have to photograph mine (which is totally fake). I'm not into picking up pine needles, although the smell is awesome.

You'd make the perfect reporter for the local paper! I hope you get the job!!

Rocker_MoM said...

yeah, I hate all the needle pick up as well..I don't know why i bother..

yup, i wanna see your u got pink flamingo's and shit on it...

well, thats just the streotype i said forth for u Floridaians;)

Gette said...

tree=Christian? I thought it was another hijacked pagan tradition...

Rocker_MoM said...

well, it seems all these Christians are all gung hoe on it...I do not get it..what does it have 2 do with Jesus?..really....

we all should set up a stable or something.a stable i get...a tree, i do not...

put some lambs, or cows in the yard...that I get..

Krystal said...

I can't stand decorating a tree either.

Tutu said...

I think you would be a great writer . . . you are funny as shit. Well that doesn't quite sound like a compliment but I think you understand what I am saying.
My girls liked to wear sundresses in the winter. They looked real cute with sweats and a turtleneck under the dress. Girls.

Jeannie said...

Decorating the tree always requires a few drinks for me to remain in the holiday spirit. One year we were given so many poinsettas that I arranged them in a triangle and we put the presents under them.

Tunics are supposedly in style. Leave the girl alone. Just make sure you hang on to this photo so you can pull it out at an appropriately embarrassing moment about 10 years from now.

Lola said...

try the job
you can always quit:)

~Jobthingy~ said...

i have a 3 foot fake tree and i love the thing. comes out of the box in one piece and blammo its up.

no water, no needles. its great.

Rocker_MoM said...

amen sista

well that emsomble sounds better then what this kid tries to pull off;)

Oh gosh,thats 2 funny bout the poinsetta's..

yeah, I plan on pullin out her picutres of her dressing herself as soon as she brings a boy home.

and I did have a little bit of liqour to get me thru, trust me.

well, i am thinking about me.

thats my kinda tree..however, getting a box out is work too;)

Monogram Queen said...

We do the real tree and i'm completely in agreement with the hubs on it. Glad you caved in and she does a great job dressing herself!!

LMAO at the two asses. Oh me oh my you do make me laugh lady. Hope you get the reporting job. I can see endless enjoyable blog reads in that!

Shannon said...

I think you would be one heck of a reporter!!!!

Jennybean said...

awww... your baby girl is a doll!

good luck with the whole tree thing and the job!

Rocker_MoM said...

I hate real trees, im just sayin;)

u like the two assed huh? I just love u.

thanks, I think I would too..but I think there will be way to many people after the same thing, and I have NO jourolism degree, but I have wrote for lots of other things..we will see.

thanks...she is a little bugger sometimes..

Krystal said...

We get a real tree every year.

They shed LOTS and LOTS and I'm the ONLY one who cleans it up.

'Nough said.

Haphazardkat said...

The Boo is so rockin the look.
and I'm with ya on the whole Santa thing.
I bust my hump buyin most awesome shizzle for my kid and the fat bastard gets all the credit.

I am left with bills and whiny sugar high crashin kid.

*tosses on my flack jacket*

I'm so huntin that fat bastard down and gettin' my awesomeness back!!

Rocker_MoM said...

nuf said..amen 2 that.

i thought 4 sure u were gonna give me shit about not posting the pale one..

catscratch said...

She is a stylin lil chick! I wish my fat ass could be cute again.

You'd make a smashin reporter, mamas!

Jay said...

The tree looks fab, your little fashionista is cute, life is good!!

Sheri said...

I've got Taylor tonight and we're decorating the tree. He's really into this fiber optic snoman that my mom bought. It is really trashy but he loves it.

Jamie Dawn said...

Boo is NOT wearing jeans. She is wearing trousers or dungarees.

I LOVE having Christmas trees!! We don't have live ones though, so I am not murdering the forests for my own pleasure.

Boys SHOULD wear PAIRS of underwear, so if they "lay a streak of brown" as my Grandpa used to say, they'll have an extra underneath.

Caffeine Court said...

First of all, your daughter is absolutely adorable!!!

Second of all, TAKE THE JOB!! It sounds great. It's not easy to find an entertaining job. Go for it.