I never claim to be good at any one thing. I am however, say, mediocre at lots of things, but not good at any one thing. And I admit that. Just like I am admit I am lazy. It takes someone with a lot of balls to admit they are lazy.
Can I do things other people can not?
as Sarah Palen would say...
and add an elegant, yet redneck wink at the end...
Can I do things millions of other yahoo's can do...
This past week has been nothing short of a miracle. Not only did I build a boat so that the hubs and I can swim safely to the middle to do naughty things, I also had our tin can telephone line installed.
My oldest daughter, ya no Blondie?...Look here is her school picture, I forgot to show u.
Well she is involved in many activities. She goes to this club called Pioneer Girls. Its thru a local church and they meet every Wednesday..Then on Thursday she has another group she goes to called Girl Power. She leaves for that at 5:30 and doesn't get home till close to 9.
They feed all the kids dinner, its at someones house..She will come home and tell me they had steaks, and like last night, they had roast with all the fixins.
This too is another churchy kinda group..She likes that kinda shit, God love her and bless her cotton socks.
I am thinking of going to Girl Power with her, because hell, they get better meals then I cook.
So the other night The Boy was getting on her about all her girl clubs she is in. She then tells him that there is a boy version of Girl Power called God's Soldiers.
he then made some smart ass remark like all pre-teens and middle school aged hoodlums do. And you know what my daughters come back was..
Instead of kidney punching him, she told him..
with that attitude, I would say you really need it mister..
and then she asked what was so funny about being one of God's Soldiers..because God isn't funny.
Oh, you just gotta love the crap that comes outta tots mouths..doncha?
We all know I know how to cut hair..And you have all seen the mess I have done when I have tried grooming my dog.
Last time I think I made her bleed and she hid in the closet for weeks.
Not only that, but she resembled some sort of third world country dog who was in line to be taken to the slaughter house to be the next nights kibble at the local eatery.
She looked like she had a case of the mange...
But this time, this time I think I perfected my dog grooming techniques..I am really actually very impressed with how my masterpiece turned out.
But the finishing touch, thats is what makes the cut..
Here, let me show u.
See her custom made sweater...my mom bought it at Walfart..so it was custom made in Pakistan I'm sure...
My dog right now wont even look at me, or come near me.
She is fearful of me when I have scissors in my hand.
As anyone with common sense should be.
Just look at the fear in her eyes as I walk by her...if she could reach the steak knives, I'm sure my days would be numbered.
Any dog groomer could take a look at that and see its pure perfection. I even used my hair dryer to dry her off..
Just a personal touch dogs get outta me.
It snowed today...
So I'm in my heated bunker with a bottle of vodka and and O magazine.
See ya in the summer bitches...