Wednesday, November 12, 2008

4 those about 2 rock, we salute u

Thanksgiving is fastly approaching. As a kid I always loved Thanksgiving. We would go to my grandma and grandpa's or an aunts house for the meal and just ate till I puked. When I was a kid I never realized the preparation of putting together such a meal. And frankly I didn't give a crap, because that was the adults job...


After I got married we still would go to those same places...we never made Thanksgiving, mainly because I don't like a lot of people in my space and I hate doing dishes, those are the two main reasons.


I still do not like those things, but I now know sometimes you have to do shit you don't want to. Its called being a grown up. Even though I am 33 years old, I tend to forget I am the grown up.


I always liked going to other peoples homes and eat them outta house and home, and then let them clean the mess.


This is what people do to me now.


This Thanksgiving I invited my dad, my MIL and a couple other heathens in the great lake state..


Only taker I had was the mother in law.


I plan big meals for this day, the kinda meal that keeps u full till Christmas. And I am a good cook to. The hubs he is in charge of the turkey and I handle everything else.


That includes pies made from scratch..cause I am just that fuckin awesome.


So far there have been no mishaps, nothing has ever been under cooked, or over cooked. Yet.


We did have a mishap but I don't recall if it was turkey day or Christ day, but the table was set on fire..


don't ask.


This year I am having a full house. 12 people will be eating here. That means 12 people I need to clean up after, 12 people I will dislike for a couple months after the festivities, 12 people who will be using my bathrooms, and making themselves cozy on my sofa's.


Now seeing how I am not a people person, this could cause some friction.


Then to top it all off the father in law kind of invited himself here for Christmas. And this makes me all constipated. And no one likes to be under that much angst.


I am thinking though I might make a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving this year..


ya no, have toast , popcorn and pretzels.


My dog would be in charge of the toast, The Boy will be in charge of popping the corn and Blondie will be in charge of putting the pretzels in a bowl and putting paper plates on the table.


My job will be to supervise this event from the coach.


I can see alot from here and I do think it will go smoothly.


There will be no football being watched, instead we will gather round the campfire and play Risk, for 2 days.


because holy shit, that game can last for days and days..


Then Saturday we will go out and get the crappiest looking tree we can muster. We will look in other peoples yards for pine trees, because we are too cheap to buy one.


We will go out when the sun goes down, with a handsaw and just start hacking the crap outta someones tree.


We will more then likely steal one with rabid animals living in it, as well as infested with termites. Oh and one bat.


I will then use the left over popcorn from dinner and string it around the tree..and hang the left over pretzels as ornaments.


I will then get an array of solar lawn lamps that i will steal of course and tie them to the tree for our lights..


I'm just trying to cut corners, thats all.


its called being fiscally responsible and Suzie Orman would approve.


Look, here is my dog, she is ready to rock.




She likes her pretty dress.....My mom bought it for her at the Walfart...
Walfart can provide the stupidest things...
And we all know the top notch humans work at them..
Boo-Yaaaaa
So this holiday season, cut corners where u can...God understands.

36 comments:

Tom said...

Festivus!! I feel lucky I've worked the last five Thanksgivings. It's great! You get sympathy out the wazoo and make time and a half.

Krystal said...

Going to my Mom's for Thanksgiving this year. Had cold cuts and sliced cheese for Christmas last year.

My 15-yr-old son and 7-year-old daughter LOVE AC/DC!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Tom,
i think i would rather work then cook and clean up...u got it made;)

Krystal,
hey cold cuts and cheese is very good, its easy clean up.

So Not The Bradys said...

We have Thanksgiving in my dad's pole building. It has heat because we're classy and expect the best, of course.

Last year, he had a taco/baked potato bar type set up for Thanksgiving. So yes, for Thanksgiving dinner, I had a big baked potato since I don't eat red meat.

It's depressing now that I think about it.

I usually make T-day dinner the following weekend for my husband and the kids...because I sooo enjoy cooking for 43 hours and spending 38 cleaning up the mess.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Not the Brady,
yeah I dont eat red meat either...but a dinner in a heated pole barn sounds like my kinda party..

~Jobthingy~ said...

LOL i can actually see the solar lights on the hacked up tree and its cracking me up

Jamie Dawn said...

I like cooking, but I don't like cleaning up the mess.
Being an adult is not all fun and games, is it?
Being a kid was great. We got to be so darned lazy.

The game of Risk is horrid. The Reverend and the kids love it. They get me to play every once in a blue moon, and I never ever win. I suck at that eternal infernal game.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Jobthingy,
looks pretty sweet doesnt it?
:)

Flip Flop Momma said...

Jamie,
being a grown up has its moments huh?

I have never played risk, but have watched other do it, and it scares me..

Mrs. K said...

I have 10 people coming over...and the MIL (UGH) keeps calling every day asking what time should she be here...

Gette said...

We have Thankschristmas with my folks. Ma does the brunt of it and we pitch in with pizzas and big breakfasts over the course of the long weekend. It rocks. When I get back on Sunday, though, I'll be hosting our annual St. Andrew's supper. I think we'll have about a dozen for that.

IamDerby said...

I make pies from scratch too... I will even bring one to someone elses house so I can eat good pie and not have to clean up.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Mrs K,
tell her 5am so she can help u get the turkey in...then she will stop calling.

Gette,
wow...now that sounds mighty awesome...count me in.

Derby,
now thats a bloody good idea..

i dont much like pie, but i make it because other peopel do..I mean I like the filling, but i hate crust, and i have been told i make some damn good crust:)

Rachel said...

I have never played Risk before. You know how to cut corners and during the holidays I think that's a good thing!! I hate all that cleaning up afterwards too. Everyone is stuffed so who feels like cleaning things up?

Not sure about my Thanksgiving plans yet. I could come to your house and make it a nice number of 13!

Flip Flop Momma said...

rachel,
i will set u a place:)

Scarlet said...

I'm coming over with Rachel...so it make it 14 and I'll bring the sangria and a tall, dark, handsome Cuban guy from Miami. ;)

You can teach us how to play Risk and make homemade pies.

Now that I don't have a job, I'll have to consider some of your after Thanksgiving ideas! They're awesome! :)

Flip Flop Momma said...

Scarlet,
come on over, bring the fam...have a good ole Minnesota thanksgiving:)

i will even take ya out 4 karaoke;)

sucks about the job though, seroiusly.

Choppzs said...

I am sorry to say that I no longer read your posts...

I am much to focused on that picture of Zac you have on here.

I find my cursor drifting down the page before i even get the chance to fricken read!

Damn you! lol

Jen - Queen of Poo said...

You should totally serve toast and popcorn. That would solve your Thanksgiving problem for next year too. You could invite everyone over and they'll all be like, "Uh, no thanks."

Flip Flop Momma said...

Chopzzs,
u sick sick woman!

thats 4 the children!

:)

Poo,
HEre is hoping!

Slick said...

12?

Did you forget about me and Trish?

That's 14....

And by the way, don't worry...I do lift the toilet seat. leave me something interesting the medicine cabinet, ok?

metalmom said...

My sister invited us to drive 45 minutes to have dinner with her abusive boyfriend and his annoying son.

Uh...NO. I'd rather eat nuggets at Mickey D's!

Bee Repartee said...

I'll bring the booze. You can't be truly thankful w/out booze.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Slick,
just dont trash the place like u did last year...

Metalmom,
oh hell, yeah, i would say chicken nuggets would be better.

Bee,
u know me so well:)

Humincat said...

Now weren't you the one who was bitchin' back in like MAY about nobody wanting to come to your house for Turkey day, and now your bitchin' about them coming...we must be related! I always invite my mother, and then she gets to do 98.5% of the work. Mom's rock!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Humincat,
I know...i cant win 4 losing..

Dame Wonder said...

you lost me at 12 people using my toilets. that's too many fuckin ppl. i'm just a kid, i can't take care of that many at once. ok, i'm in my 40s. but fuck that! i refuse to grow up.

;)

Jennybean said...

YAY for holidays...lol!

I may be inviting the fam over for turkey day this year... lord help me!

And the stealing trees thing... don't get em started!

Sarah said...

Going to my mom and dads for Thanksgiving, I usually bake home made mac and cheese for the festivities though since I'm the one who married an uber-picky eater, so I should be the one to bring the one side dish he enjoys.

PS - AC/DC rocks...literally and figuratively.

The Doozie said...

I had a lot to say in response to your post, but when I saw your dog in a *coughcough* dress....well let's just say I can't think. Please burn the dress and not the turkey

Dan said...

Anytime "Pies made from scratch" and "fu(%in" are used in the same sentence, you know it's a good story! As for the FIN gettin ya all backed up, a quick trip to McDonalds (crappies) always get me going. just sayin

Michael Manning said...

Remember, Flip Flop: No puking! You reminded me of "Wayne's World" where Wayne gives Garth a "No Hurl Guarantee"! :D

Monogram Queen said...

I would dearly love to scale back on the holidays but unfortunately no one else will cooperate.
You crack me up.
Your dog does rock!!

Cliff said...

You remind me of one of those pilgrim mothers for sure. So saintly.

Haphazardkat said...

Going to Lord V's sisters house for Thanksgiving. Good news? Nice peeps and grand food.
Bad news?
Trapped with MiniWarrior in unfamiliar house for 3 days...
Need drugs.
Can you hook a sistah up??

catscratch said...

I'll be stealing 2 trees and not cooking a damn thing.

Happy Holidays!