Mr Telephone Man

Friday at around 10 pm my phone rings, and the voice on the other end asks for my daughter. My 7 year old baby girl.







I am wondering who the bloody hell is calling my baby girl at 10pm. I thought it was her friend timid girl as we had just came from a bon-fire at our new church and she was there, thought maybe Blondie had left something behind and she was calling to tell her.







But I was wrong. It was a boy. It is so very hard to distinguish a little boy and little girls voices at the young tender age. Which totally sucks.

The whole entire time she is talking to this boy, she is all giddy and smiling. Made me sicker then a dog...I mean I think I actually vomited in my throat, although it did not make it up thru my entire esophagus, it was pretty damn close.







Anyhoo, they gabbed till about 10:30. I asked Mr Shaky what parent would let their kid call another house at 10pm...







Then he said "what parent lets their kid talk to someone at 10 at night?"







Touche u ole bloody bastard...touche.







~



At work Sunday I was watching some TV, because I get paid lots of money to watch TBS movies whilst working at the crazy house.







I was watching Cheaper by the Dozen.







I had never seen it before. It made me think that maybe having 12 kids isn't so bad.







I like chaos. All I need are 9 more spawns to make a dozen...







But then I thought, my boobs look like this with three kids..









































































If I were to procreate 9 more times, this will be me ...

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Not saying this is a bad thing..per say...but I just don't have the back strength to uphold a load like that.

So I will stick to what I have...

chaos is over rated anyway.

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My back is still hurting from my new $300 ink job.....I am wishing it was not so big..But really, I can not do a damn thing about it now...

Blondie says its a cool flag....she thinks we are British.

I can not disagree, as I do love a spot of tea in the afternoon and fish and chips in the evening.

Ok, I do not like fish, or chips...

or tea for that matter.

Keep Flipping

pink houses

This is a run down of the last 24 hours...In no particular order.

*Boo tells me she is going on a trip, and I need to drive. I ask where she is going, she says to her house.

*I ask her whose she is in now, she says it is mine.

*she tells me her house is pink and purple and is next to Blondies house, I then ask where Blondies house is, she says "its next to mine momma, I told u dat."

*she then takes the black cat, says she is taking that kitty home with her tonight. I tell her ok, and I have a few other things she can take as well, as I am wanting to downsize.

*The Boy comes home from school after having "the body is changing class". He is mortified at the fact they gave all the boys deodorant and soap. Also he said he had no idea his pee pee was called a penis. Oh, and it grosses him out to think he is going to be sprouting hair in that area along with his arm pits..oh and that he can get a boner from riding his bike...

no, really, I read it right in his pamphlet..along with he can get boners for no reason whatso ever...

I then ask him what else he learned he then told me " oh momma, you dont even want to know, plus I dont think you would even understand..ok, well maybe you do understand it, but I am not going to talk about it anymore."

I think he is worried about "pitching a tent" for no reason in the future. Man I hate to think about him pitching anything but a baseball.

*Then Blondie points at my boobage and asks if hers are going to get that big. I tell her I hope they wont. She says "yea me too, my shirts wont fit if they are that big, and i would have to buy a new coat too"

I have the weekend off. I plan on cleaning out my garage. So maybe I can start parking my mom wheels in it. Nearly 3 years here and still have not been able to park either of our cars in it.

Its starting to bug the bees. The boy told me the other day.." my bike wouldn't be snowy if the garage was cleaned out so I could park it in there."

I told him his bike wouldn't be snowy if it was freaking snowing in the middle of April. And maybe if he got a job, a job that would support all of us, we could move to a warmer climate.

he said..

mom, just clean out the garage.

sonofabitch.

Bee Sober

where have all the cowboys gone

Seeing that spring is in the air, I have been thinking about getting a new hair-do. Like change it up a bit, dying it an off the wall color, and get a choppy layer cut. I took some pics today, as so I could get some opinions. I tried to show u my hair up, and my hair down...just so u could tell me if I should keep it that length, or go shorter.

well after looking at the pics, it has come to my attention that I need a drastic change..

It seems ole Bossy needs to be hitting the weight watchers circuit once again. it looks like I am sprouting a double chin...

I just got home from my 7 mile walk, so I don't look the best to start with..

I will be a son of a bitch, Blogger wont let me arrange the pics in the order I want them...so i will just explain them here, and you will have to find the pic I am speaking of and make your own judgement.

I have two with the hair up, one with it down, one a view with my wind-breaker off so u can see the extend of my , um, boobage, the others are profile and full view of my torso area from my bathroom mirror..

You will see what I mean....

Starting Monday, I am back on it, counting points, rationing my air and water...and walking a good 20 miles per day, as I need to jump start it all..

I swear, I must have hibernated during the winter and conserved my fat deposits to live off from if we should indeed encounter another ice-age.

I am not ashamed to show you people what I look like. I don't try and put on a fake-ishness about what I look like. I admit I have laugh lines, crows feet, and saggy boobs and buttocks...or so I have been told.

Not much I can do about any of that, but the fat-ness, I can.

I am gonna start posting a pic weekly so I can view my own progress, or the lack there of. because, holy shit, this isn't looking good. for as much as I work out, I should be looking more fit then that. I realize I cant do much about my face, I can thank my parents for that one..Its not like I went face shopping and thought, holy crap, that's it, that's the face I want.

Not. A. Chance.

i am not sure why I look ever so pastey in the ones I took in the bathroom, shit those are ghastly, and no thats not my porn face, I was trying to find my damn cheek bones.

So what started out as a post about asking for hair advice, turned into this freak show of a post...

But I will still glady take any advice on the hair u want to throw at me. I just cut about 6 inches off it last month, so its just now starting to grow back.

Anyway, this is my delima...please help me in the fight against obesity. I don't wanna be known as the fluffy girl.

My legs and arms are the only tone things on my body...this is not fair.

I am going to start up my diet again of grass and rain drops.

sonofabitch.

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I had a nice visit with my aunt. I took my camera to my moms, but forgot to snap any photos, if I see her today, I will try and take a few, I want one of me, my mom and my aunt...But I am not thinking I will be seeing her again this trip.

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Oh, on my first trek to and around the lake for my walk, I have been chased by bats already...can u believe that?..Its not even April yet. This one little bastard had it out for me I think. I am sure he followed me home, and will be making a grand entrance into my hive once the pisser finds out how to get in.

he must like the chicks with some meat on their bones...

I guess he hasn't seen my ass kicking leg muscles, just my flabby mid-section and wrinkled up face.

And bats have bad eyesight too, thats what is making me think I am doomed.

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Just so you know, starting this week, I am working all sorts of weird hours, I wont be around a-lot. I have a new "job thingy"

That's all I will say...a new "job thingy"

So don't be alarmed if this post is up until like next day after tommorow. My next day off after Sunday will be next Saturday.

I am very important, and people need me...so there.

ok, thats a big fat lie.

Bee Happy