Monday, August 07, 2006

When its time to change....

I am cranky. I am bloated. I am tired. And my son is going thru puberty. Please shoot me.

Not only am I PMSing, but my son is coming close to growing facial hair and carrying a wallet and a pocket knife. He is going to be 10 in March. My son is showing a sudden interest in watching my soap, and especially the ladies bearing their boobies and bums....How does this happen to tiny boys? He should be playing with trucks, chasing girls with worms and throwing baseballs. Instead at 12pm he tells me it is time for Days of Our Lives and grabs a beverage and a snack and plops his 9 year old Fanny on the sofa and props his feet on the coffee table and says " so, what's gonna happen today ya think?"

I tell you what's gonna happen, your gonna go down to the basement and watch cartoons. Go watch crappy cartoons your not allowed to watch. The more violent the better. Tom and jerry...Yup you can watch it...GO...NOW..

he heads down stairs, I sneak down to see what's going on. My son is on the sofa down there with his snack, and beverage, his feet proped up on the toy box and he is watching Days of Our Lives.

Although on the plus side, maybe he will learn how to romance a lady. Or how to kill someone and hide the body and evidence, or how to black mail using proper techniques.

Lord help me. My baby boy is going to be a man by weeks end. I better go buy him some razors and band-aides.

**
I worked with "lazy girl" at the crazy house Sunday. I purposely hid the remote on her. She found it. She watched old episodes of Love Connection. I said to her " um, you might want to think about looking at the menu to see if U have to get anything ready for dinner. I don't do dinner sweetie You do. I do breakfast and lunch. Its your job to make sure dinner is started and going by the time the next shift arrives.

She continued watching Love Connection. I went out on the deck and layed in the sun.

She watched about 3 hours of Game Show network. I hid the remote again.

She found it again.

I am thinking about taking the batteries out next time.

I hate lazy people.

Not only am I going to get rid of the bees watching TV, but I need to make sure lazy girl don't watch either.

**
I am putting in my papers for early retirement. Since I had my midlife crisis at 30, I know I will die at 60. So I only have 59 good years left, that is if I don't become senile and start pooing myself and need help eating food that resembles that of baby food.

I need to enjoy my golden years. I don't need to be bogged down with working. I need to golf, learn pinochle, shuffle board, croquet, and bingo.

These are things I will miss in my older years because I will be dead. I need to start enjoying them now.

retirement is the only option I have.

**
So if any moms of boys out there have any advice on how to handle a tween boy that gets a funny feeling in nether regions when he sees boys and girls kissing on TV, let me know. Do I need to keep the little tramp who kissed him last summer away from him now? Do I lock him in his room? What do I do? Boarding school?..I dunno. Someone let me know..mmaky?

But I can tell you for sure I am getting rid of all my Ladies Home Journals, Cosmo, and Readers Digest. You can never be too careful.

Bee Real

38 comments:

Raggedy said...

Maybe when school start he will forget about the soaps.
They sure grow up fast!
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one

eyes_only4him said...

Raggedy,
well it isnt the soaps i am worried about..its the girls at school:)

TJ said...

Hey...just wait till he discovers the internet...and you find a page of paper sticking out of your printer...the rest of something else that should be there and the bottom of the paper reads~Shania Nekid!!!
When asked he said a kid at school paid him for the pic!!!
Boys is gonna be boys!!!
oh...and btw...I just cain't stay our of Walmart no matter how hard I try!!!
:-D

eyes_only4him said...

tammy,
well so far he isnt alowed on the itnernet unless we are watching him..i am just waiting for the day I find him looking at nekkid ladies on there...oh boy..

KrazyMom said...

Maybe Butch can keep me updated on the soap. I haven't been able to watch it in months and I miss it!! You think it's scary now, just wait until all three of them are into dating and such! Watch out mom!

PinkCat said...

Hi Bossy

Having a ten year old myself who turned ten this March. I think that its normal. Sam told me about his first crush which happened last December when he was 9. I blogged about it and I was worried. We talked and he has decided that perhaps he is too young to be having girlfriends. LOL

Take care xx

Princess said...

One thing you can be happy about BB... At least you know he likes girls! :D

Whats with the lazy girl? You should get her fired :O

xoxo

Kendra Lynn said...

Well...I'd suggest definintly getting rid of the Cosmos...too many steamy stories for a tween boy.
Trust me, I know...when we used to take care of a kid in our youth group, he'd hang out at our house. One day he was helping Scott hang a shelf in our closet, and spied my stash of Cosmos. Boy oh boy...he wanted to know all about it.
LOL

Kendra

asdfasdfasdf said...

I know you're not so much worried about the soaps, but Hans said you should prolly not let him watch them, maybe you should record them and watch them after he goes to bed.

Then again, Hans is 24 now and says when he was 9 he hadn't even thought of girls yet, so... yeah.

It's sad how fast kids are growing up these days. Lol, I sound so old.

I hope you figure things out.

And lazy girl needs a good ass kicking.

eyes_only4him said...

kelly,
they will never be dating..no worries here:)

how ya doing, havent talked in a while, i thought maybe them daycare kids did u in:)

JoJo..(thats your new name now)
when in march is his birthday?..ok now , since we just talked about all this you pretty know what I am gonna say:)
no girls pr boys allowed in my house inless I birthed them:)


princess,
yes so far it is girls..so far so good:)

kendra,
oh too funny..really i dont have cosmos here..i havent read one in years:)


lady n,
well he normally dont watch it, and i have been catching it on soapnet at night now..mosly he is out with his buddies when its on..since school starts next month i wont need to owrry much about it..

and yes, lazy girl does indeed need an ass kicking:)

Karin said...

So did everyone get dinner? I don't know what to tell you with Butch other than at 9 they start to get curious and they may even have a girl friend at school. The girlfriend will last a week or two and not go past holding hands and then Butch will decide for now that indeed girls are icky. You need to roll with it. I saw it happen over and over when I ran an afterschool program.

Granny said...

My 10 year old (almost 11) has begun shaving under her arms. Her 11 year old sister started her period when she was barely 11 (or maybe not quite).

How do they grow up so fast.

eyes_only4him said...

karin,
not sure if they had dinner or not..i am hoping so..

and a week is much too long..an hour MAYBE:)

granny,
they do grow WAY too fast..its almsot scary how fast it happnes

Choppzs said...

OH no, not Days??? Stupid show anyways, can't they get some new situations going, I am starting to get bored!!! lol But I still sit and watch the damn thing every day, and you know what? Girly Girl insists on watching it with me. I have to peel her off the damn chair and push her into her room to watch something else. I too, have caught her in there watching Days on her own tv. What the hell?? Don't ask me what to do, I am trying to figure out how to tell her it's ok for me, and not for her and also why they are all naked all the time!! lol

Dizzie said...

I'm with you on the lazy people!

Want to hear something funny? I just turned 25, but I just might be going through the change. The one I though I'd have to wait at least another 25 years before hitting... oh, well, life's a bitch and then you die. Life's a bitch, and so am I...! ;)

Raggedy said...

I left a wish for you at my place.
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one

Jewl said...

Well, at least he is watching Days and not Passions for crying out loud!
I know, it is so sad that no matter how hard the Mom tries that eventually the boys actually do turn into men...

eyes_only4him said...

chopzzs,
what the hell is the deal with our kids wanting to watch it?..damn..there is something not right about that:)

heart of drakness,
man already?..wish I would..but damn you so young.

ragedy,
i am on my way over to check it out.

jewl,
oh man PAssions is the bigges damn joke..I cant belive anyone would watch that crap!

Michele_3 said...

I'm in the same boat!
My son who will be 10 in October grew up on me over night.This school year he picked out his clothes, had an opinion on things he never cared about, got his hair cut a certain way-puts gel in it every morning,you name it! I also caught him rewinding this part on Big Momma's House 2 where the girls were in swimsuits...Yikes!
(We should be going through this together! move to Florida woman! LOL!)
P.S-I use to watch Days but I got behind on it on it & now everything is different- I try to catch Y & R on the soap channel at night.

eyes_only4him said...

denise,
well i wouldnt say he is hooked, he has never had an interst untill he saw one of the ladies half nekkid one day;)

michele,
well my son wants his hair a certain way, but i dont like it so i make him cut it shrt..he likes it longer...he likes looking like freak, and it dont fly with me:)

days is so damn stupid, its not really a soap..its turned into a ridcuiloius comedy bit anymore..dont even know wh I bother;)

mikster said...

It could be worse...he could be showing an interest in half naked men. How would you cope with that?

*snickers*

eyes_only4him said...

mike,
your right..as of now i am pretty sure i will have a daughter in law..just holfully not before he is 40 though..damn!

keesh said...

oh Lord and I thought having a boy would be so much easier...not so sure anymoe....I have just one son and i want to have another child, but maybe my husband is right, just leave it as is. ahhh!!

Unknown said...

oh and don't forget to tear all the swimsuit ads out of the sears catalogue like my sister in law does. ROFL.

I can't believe he is interested in soaps though?! I took the tv out of my girls room today. I think it's for the best.

Angela said...

I'm reading this and some of the folks replies and wonderin do I REALLY want to get some kiddo's and have to deal with this *LOL*. hhmm. It's more fun watchin other parents get tormented instead*LOL*.

eyes_only4him said...

kish,
yes keep it as is:)..it is for the ebst..haha

mrs d,
he is not intersted in soaps, he is interested in watching ANYTHING with half nekkid ladies;)

my kids have never had tv's in their room, and never will. I cant belive the number of kids with tv's in their room, its frightening..

kaliblue,
well sometimes being tortued on your own is fun.,.but sometimes just witnsessing it is just as fun..hehe

Unknown said...

the girls had the "kids" tv in their room for daycare use....but it was causing problems because my son didn't have one, and also it was too easy for them to watch. i never was comfortable with it, but after their fight with their brother today.... I took it out. And they've played nicely together all day. It really IS for the best. For so many reasons.

It's just a teeny tv, so we'll probably keep it in the camper. We have a tv in the basement (and in our bedroom) but I prefer to keep the living room TV free. So that's why it's not going in there.

eyes_only4him said...

i would love to get rid of the tv...we have one in the family room upstairs, one in the basment in the living room and one in my bedroom...thats just too many..the kids have access to tv's all over.

i want to get rid of the one in the bamsement and do some seroius restricting on the ohter ones..it really is for the best..

Tammy said...

Man, is that something I have to look forward too? I don't want my baby boy to grow up that fast.
Hugs go out to you. Glad I have found you again.
I love what you have done to your blog. And I take it that you were the winner of the BLOGGER BIGGEST LOSER 2005? Way to go girl.

eyes_only4him said...

tammy,
long time no see....yes you have all this to look forward too my dear:)

and yup, i sure was. the winner..pretty sad huh?..haha

Tammy said...

Not at all. I wish I would have won, cause that means I would have gotten a new body too. LOL
So how much did you end up losing, if you don't mind me asking?

eyes_only4him said...

tammy,
i am trying to think, maybe 25 pounds, not a lot..

but i workout everyday and i did join weight watchers, but i have a hard time following it..i hate the coutning..

i want to get to the 130's..and i am nearly there. so its all good:)

Anonymous said...

well, my 9 year old turns 10 in April. one of his best friends is a girl. I don't think he's interested so far. but what do I know?

Cliff said...

save all the retirement money you can. You'll need it to pay for raising all of the illegitmate kids this boy is going to sire.
Or maybe a miracle will happen.

Meow (aka Connie) said...

Hmmm, don't know much about 10 year old boys, but I have a 12 going on 16 year old girl. That's scary !!! Fortunately, the periods haven't happened yet, but boy is that body changing !! And the boys are looking, too. Oh, why do they have to grow up ?!?!?! Life is much simpler without puberty !!
Good luck.
Take care, Meow

eyes_only4him said...

beth,
just wait...the day will come.i didnt hink he was intersted either, till he had a little chat with my mom about things..dang why cant they stay babies?

cliff,
bite your tongue..i wont be a granny till i am at least 70..got it:)

meow,
they groa so fast, i remeber being 12 and going on 20...those were the days;)

Jenn said...

National Geographic should also be included in that list..hehe.

My daughter is almost 10. She is started to do the same things as your son. They are curious but my advice, don't make him feel like it's not normal or it's something to be barred from. Teach them timing in life and respect for others. I'm also proactive and role play with her, so she hears the dialog and has an idea of what can happen. This has worked for me with her, but trust your gut.

As for boys, at least you only have to worry about one son, I have to worry about everyone else's sons. :o)

eyes_only4him said...

emma,
thats some good advice there..

i have 2 daughters..so i have to worry about everyone else sons too..hehe