Turn me loose

It seems the great folks in law enforcement are attracted to us. Seems Mr Shaky was pulled over on the way to work yesterday. wanna know why? No he doesn't fit the profile of a drug seller nor a child killer....But the butt wad had ribbons hanging in his rear view mirror. At 6 am a cop had nothing better to do then pull over his car. I guess there were no high speed chases or wife beaters to be tracked down.

Then the dumb ass didn't have his recent insurance card in the car. AND the officer said his MN license was not valid because his name was spelled wrong in their system. It is spelled right on his license, just not in their system.

So how the hell is that his problem? This goes back to my whole theory of Minnesota being run by retards and butt wipes. Not only can you only get a license here one day a week and only open for one hour, but you also need to hack into the system to make sure your name is spelled right.

I don't know how this state gets by. It needs a hand to be held while crossing the road, and it needs a diapy change every few hours. If not the state would crap its pants on all of us.

Then my town has issues. There are several intersections near my home and else where in the city, with no stop signs. Its like you have free reign to ram eachother in the ass. No yield sign, no stop sign?..Ok ...

I frequent these intersections for the simple reason I am hoping to get hit..For 2 reasons...

1. So I can sue this city and state for all its got..which is not much considering the peons running the damn circus side show

B. So I can get a new van..My 2003 Dodge Caravan is 3 years old and she is ready for adoption.

I work for the state, not only that, but I also work for the county. Am I a dumb ass? Sure. Am I slightly retarded? You bet. Do I know that you need to be open more than one day a week for an hour in order for folks to get a valid drivers license? I do..DO I know that you need stop signs at every intersection..Darn tootin I do.

I have been in this state so long I started drooling. My brain cells are depleting slowly. I really should run for Governor. But that would be a 4 year commitment to living here. I just rather leave, and let the retards fend for themselves.I don't have that kind of time and I hate doing paper work.

**
Do you want to know just how much the dumbness of this state has rubbed off on me? My little Boo bee fell asleep on the couch, so I layed her sweet fat butt in her crib. Then I came out here and continued to finish watching Blues Clues.

My 9 year old Butch Bee walks in and says " ahh, mom what ya doin?"

I look at him, look at the TV..

And I have no answer.

In his eyes I was the dumbest thing he had seen all day. His 31 year old mother caught in the grips of Joe and Blue.

I tried explaining my way out of it. I tried telling him it was one I had not seen and I wanted to see how it ended.

He then says to me

" um, mother, they all end the same, they find the clues."

yes son, you are right. Thank you for sparing me from the evil that is Joe and Blue..Please don't breath a word of this to your friends or your father..GOT IT.

I can not have his friends thinking I spend the day watching baby shows . I may be old, I may sport a nose ring and 20 extra pounds, but damn it I like me a good show once ina while..So sue me.

And getting rid of the TV is something I am still pondering. I would really get more done around here if I did not watch shows with the kids. I call it bonding time.

So what if I like kids shows? So what if I have been in love with the Blue Wiggle for 3 years now. blue wiggle, its me bossy, I don't mind that you have gray hair, side burns and extra white teeth that blind my eyes..I still love you....Do u love me too?...Ok this is getting weird.

**

remember Ugly kid? The one that craps in the yard..my yard along with the rest of the neighborhood. Last week Butch said he was moving to Duluth. Why did he think he was moving you ask? They were having a yard sale.

And Ugly Kid told him so. Ugly kid lies. He has been knocking at my door wanting to play everyday. I was hoping he would be gone.

Yet he lingers on like a a yeast infection.

Bee Real

Tommorw look for my Ode to Walmart....I am done pissed right off...