Thursday, June 15, 2006

I drove all night

picture this..

Me, Target, the bees, shoplifting.

I know, its a hard picture to imagine. I know what your thinking, one of my bees lifted something in their shirts. Nope.

I lifted something in my shirt. Nope. Not exactly.

I was browsing tru the clearance items and I spotted the most ugly pair of earrings. They were $3.49. I thought what the heck and threw them in my cart.

I unloaded my crap, paid for it, and walked out the door. Upon my arriving at the sliding doors the buzzers went off. I am thinking to myself..Oh great..

But knowing I just went thru the checklane they told me to go ahead.

I get to my van and get the bags out of the cart, where at the bottom of my cart I notice my ugly earrings. Under normal circumstances I would of went back in and paid for them. Guess this was not normal circumstances.

More proof I am going to hell. I am a thief. I think I would be be-headed in Biblical times.

Funny thing is, I did not feel one bit bad about it. Almost giddy..HA Target, how ya like me now?

Watch your purses and fine jewels in my presence. I feel I have turned a new leaf, one I wont be using regular tender in exchange for goods and services.


And I look smashing in my ugly earrings...Smashing indeed.

Bee Real

28 comments:

Anonymous Fat Blogger said...

I almost feel dirty reading this...LOL Too funny!! The Target police are going to be after you! Run!!

Anonymous Fat Blogger said...

Oh and post a pic of the ugly earrings :)

PinkCat said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
PinkCat said...

Britmum said...
Smashing indeed. Where did you learn the lingo bossey? I love it. Hey we could have been sisters never mind neighbours. Oh darn it to heck I am English. Darn it, darn it....!!!

I have most accidentally walked out with stuff especially with the Shade Monster was small. Hey he stuffed it up his baby grow. How was I to know? I tell you some mothers do have them.

Yeah lets see a piccy of the old danglers (hey get your brain out of the gutter)on your lobes.

Take care xx

PS. Do you need to borrow some handcuffs? I know a man who can. LOL

eyes_only4him said...

denise,
ok, before I leave for my road trip I will post a pic of them..they are ugly.

britmum,
I have always felt like an english girl trapped inside and Amreican girls body..but I dont like, or fish and chips..haha

handcuff?..sign me up:)

Karin said...

hey want to come over I have some ugly jewelry I want to disappear and you like stealing stuff, it could be ideal. Just don't tell the MIL I know you ok?

aatank said...

And I was just about to give you my e-mail. I don't think I want to hang out with a thief. HA HA way to go!!
It's kailey3courtney@yahoo.com

eyes_only4him said...

Karin,
hmm, so your offering me to steal goods with out paying tender?..ok..I am game..

aatank,
you must of not got the memo that I send out porn annymously:)

I am gonna shoot you an email shortly..be looking for it.

or else:)

Fantastagirl said...

if you end up in jail - let me know the address - I'll bake you a cake *wink*

ha ha ha I can't believe you did that - aren't you going to be a ministers wife?

just kidding - have a good time on your trip!

Cliff said...

Oh, good one Thelma. Where's the convertible and the gun?
I'm going to have to keep an eye on you.

Granny said...

I walked out of the grocers once with a can of anchovies. I was so used to carrying my cell phone in my hand half the time, I must have thoughr that was what I had and dropped them in my pocket.

I paid for them the next time I was in there. But then I don't have the history with my grocer you do with Target.

Anonymous said...

Wow, aren't you going to feel naughty every time you wear them! I think Mr. Shaky Pants is going to want you to steal lingerie next time, no? Just kidding, you bad girl!

Deb said...

YOUR SINNER!!!! THIEF!!!!! hahahahaha!!!!! Oh girl, we gotta go shopping together, but can we make it Macy's instead? I think we can find some better earrings! ;)

Now repent and sin no more! (ba ha!)

eyes_only4him said...

fantsatgirl,
can you make it a chocolcate one?..but warn me what end you put the nail file in so I dont cut my tongue off;)

cliff,
yes, I need somone to keep an eye on me thats for sure.

granny,
anchoives?...come on, now you coulda stole something better than that;)

micky,
lingerie huh?..I may have to smuggle in a diaper bag to pull that one off..

deb,
I prayed about it last ngiht and God told me it was ok..becuase Target sucks doneky balls..

and yes, MAcy;s would be nice..you should head over ehre and we can go to the big mall..come on already

Unknown said...

Be careful. i think this could be used as "evidence" ;)

eyes_only4him said...

mrs d,
I never thought about that, well if they wanna come get me over a 3 dollar pair of crappy earinngs..they can:)

JD,
at least I will be in good company;)

Twisted Lady said...

We "ripped off" Cadbury eggs from Target at Easter time.

They got wedged under the cart, the buzzer never went off, and I didn't notice 'til we got to the car. And hell no, we didn't go back and pay for them...

They were delicious, btw! :)

pack of 2 said...

OH bossy...shame on you girl:)

You could have at least taken cute ones...pictures of the loot please!

Shelly

LZ Blogger said...

Well Bossy... at least they are UGLY! ~ jb///

Felecia said...

I think what floored me more than your theiving ways (face it, we all saw that coming) was that you paid over $3 for an UGLY pair of earrings... tsk tsk tsk...

Jewl said...

You naughty naugty little girl!!

I want pics!

eyes_only4him said...

blog whore,
I bet you enjoyed every bite of them too;)

shelly,
I know, but there were not cute ones..haha

lz blogger,
true:)

felcia,
oh no..I did not pay for them..it was just meant to be I guess..but I would of paid for them ugly 3 dollar earring s though, but God knew it was all wrong;)


jewl,
I know...and I will post them tommorw..

and I cant get your comments to come up on your blog again..WTF?

Michele_3 said...

Very funny post!
Something sort of like that happend to me awhile ago-

I was at Target too & I noticed the girl in front of us was buying alot of make-up..(just an observation)
Well, when I got home in my bag was a lip gloss that i didn't buy or put there..The cashier must of forgot to put it in the other girl's bag & in mine it went..I was to tired to go back-So it just became mine..(wasn't my mistake right?)
Now- the Target police are going to find me..
:)

Jamie Dawn said...

If they are so ugly, they should be free, right?
I got a flyer in my mailbox today with your picture on it.
Flyer said, "Earring Thief on the Loose!"
I won't turn you in, though. We southern belles must stick together.

eyes_only4him said...

michele,
make up?..even better;)

jamie,
well that was kind of my line of thinking..we should not have to pay for such ugly earrigs..

Foxy said...

LOL! nothin like the five finger discount. :)

Meow (aka Connie) said...

I walked out of the supermarket with a whole carton of 24 pepsi cans once. We don't need to put them up on the conveyor, as the checkout chicks don't want RSI, so they scan a little card with the number on it. Silly me, I forgot to tell the chick that I had one in my trolley, and got all the way to the car without realising what I'd done. Did I go back .... No way !! I'm racing you to Hell, Bossy !!
Have a safe trip, enjoy the "Are We There Yet??" comments.
Take care, Meow

Princess said...

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!

that post was GOLD... you are actually the most funniest person ever.

(sorry for the delay) ;)

xoxo