imagine all the people

My poor dear spouse. He had not been out with me for a karaoke night in well over a month, so I thought he was due for a night out.

Picture this, its just him and I, out alone.

I take him to the place I do karaoke on Friday. I have separate places I go each night I hit it...I have all my basis covered.

So we get to my Friday night spot, which is a town over...We get to the bar, and get our soda's and wait for it to start.

Now there is this guy named CowBoy Curt, whom fancies the singing...He rarely knows the words and never sings in key, but he is having fun and he makes me giggle.

Every time he sees me he shoots me his double guns with his finger and says..

hows it going Chris?

CHRIS?..what the hell?..Only people who call me Chris are my dad and my grandma.

I bust knee caps if anyone calls me Chris...OR ChristinE.....u put an E at the end of my name and u might as well take the shovel, dig your own grave and write your eulogy, cause thats all she wrote.

But Cowboy Curt, he can call me Chris..

cause he is special that way.

Now what I am about to tell you is ALL true. I know its gonna sound like something out of a Science Fiction novel, but no way...

So Cowboy Curt has certain folks he travels with..its a whole herd of them, all like him. Some are a tad more specail then others, but they are all pretty damn specail in their own ways.

One was making jokes about about how Capt Hook died?...by wiping his ass with the wrong hand...(over the mic, in front of the whole establishment)

a man with a hook for an arm was sitting right at the bar.

I.Shit.You.Not

Then another one of his peeps takes off his fake leg and strokes it like a kitty while he is staring at me...

There is a group of about 15 of them...they all know each other and they all are really bad singers.

Now I am in NO way making fun of the mentally challenged, cause Lord knows I love all kinds of people.

My sister is one of these people..for real...so I am not poking fun, its just all of this is true..

This is what they ALL look like..

and this..

and dare I say....THIS....

And as my hubby tells me with a smile

they are all Gods children....

yeah yeah..I know..

So I am dealing with this distraction, because they are loud, and always looking at me.

I swear they all must live at the same group home...

Then there is the bar tender...He is a very proficient at his bar tending duties.

He is a very charming guy, very nice...

BUT...

the guy never blinks and his eyes are always looking like he is about to pop a cap in someones ass..

I swear to God hubby says..

look, if this guy don't blink soon, I'm gonna go nuts..

This is pretty much what he looks like.

So its very distracting for me..

I have a man with a hook for an arm next to me while a moron is making jokes about people with hooks for arms..

I have a guy taking off his plastic leg, like he is trying to show it off like a new watch.

Like I was gonna go up to him and say..

wow, cool leg.....u come here often?

And I am sitting within good eye shot at the misfit table..

One guy is stroking the big rolls on his lady's back, side and abdominal area.

I cant take it...

Then I have the bar tender whom I am sure is packing heat...

Then I have hubby worried about all the people drinking AND gambling..

Because he is worried Johny is gambling the farm because he is buying 50 bucks of pull tabs....every 10 minutes.

He also informs me that the guy in the hat came with the girl in the white shirt, but isn't sitting with her anymore, and she seems very annoyed.

He keeps looking at the time because I told him we could leave by midnight, and each half hour that goes by, he lets me know how much time we have left.

Next time he is staying home.

I just might as well suck it up and sit with all the misfits next week.

Maybe I can rub the plastic leg.

oh and here is a link to the last karaoke thing..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blMHVUw7NNA