Trading Spouses

I will keep this short and sweet.


I have a list.

* Some days I feel like trading Shaky in for a revamped model only I don't remember what the waiting period is before you can break wind in front of a new person..and I am not willing to risk it.

* I am getting rid of my cats...They seem to have more bathrooms in my house then I do. And I have three bathroom, one on each level..Yet they have two on each level.

*I have a staff meeting at work on Tuesday. This may or may not be the end of my working relationship with this company

I have quit other jobs that paid me TONS more money, had AWESOME perks and a potential to be something pretty f-ing cool...BUT...I could not live with myself any longer knowing some of the shit I did...

and this place...Not as much money..by a long shot..But I love my job..

so this makes me sick. This meeting could get ugly.Not looking forward to this.

* My kids are bored with summer already. I am thinking about sending them to camp for the summer.

In North Korea

* Its hot...and every night the weather guy tells me to watch my back as a f-ing twister could drop out of the sky and any given moment.

* I think I am smarter then just about every person I come in contact with.

* I want a piano

* Boo told me the other day that she is a woman.

* Blondie is worried she is going to have boobs as big as mine.

* And last but not least......

I have another raging yeast infection.

My crotch is on fire. I know when it happened too. One night last week after my four mile run, I was too tired and lazy to shower right away.

You know how I tell you about my crotch sweat? Well my doc says that is causing my flare ups.

Shes like..Um...dont be so God*dang lazy and shower after u work out..

Do you like your crotch being on fire? Do u Do u?

and start eating some yogurt for Christ sake..damnit woman, your fat and stupid.

Well not in those EXACT words, I am just paraphrasing of course.

Its the damn crotch sweat. I need to build a fan of some sort I can put in the underwear.

I gotta go. And I am sorry I have not been able to visit you guys as much as I would like. Let me tell you, if this meeting goes the way I think it might..I will be free and clear people. Free and clear, cause I wont put up with shit, and I am ready and willing to walk out the door and not look back.

I wont run out the door as I don't want a crotch sweat flare up.

Time for bed...Time for a beer..whatever.

Flippy loves you guys..don't forget it.