baringo

So my mom had this bright idea yesterday that her and I go play Texas Hold em at the local VFW hall. Mind you I have never played poker a day in my life, so this should be very amusing. She came over in the afternoon to teach me,I am a quick learner, or so I thought.

We play a few hands, and I am thinking this is pretty easy. So later that night we head off to the local VFW hall, neither one of us knew where it was , but thought it should be pretty easy to find. To make a long short short we drove all around the stinking city looking for this place..And come to find out it was about 5 blocks from my dwelling..

We walk in the place and everyone is staring at us. We are outcast...You want to know why? Because we have teeth and our hair is combed. I have never seen a more disheveled looking group of human beings in my life...And they are all staring at us..Like we were walking in on some sort of " hillbilly hangout we wasn't invited too"

The guy hands out these pieces of paper. They are playing their own form of Bingo, but they call it Baringo...You write down numbers and if they call your numbers you win a free drink...Well seeing I am not a drinker, I thought maybe a free diet coke wouldn't be too bad...

The first game starts and there is a winner after a few minutes...And they guy says " come on down and claim yur prize"....Well now I know for sure I will NOT be claiming any prizes if I win , as I do not want to take the walk of shame in front of these people who want to stone me ....Neither one of us win..Thank GOd..

We order some shrimp and cheese sticks. The waitress comes back and says its $ 10.50. My mom hands her $16.00 bucks and the woman says " do you want change"

My mom says " no"

I say
" that is one hellofa tip your leaving her.."
She is like "what its only 50 cents" I then tell her she handed her a 10 a 5 and a one dollar bill.

She then says..And I quote
" how the hell do I get that back?"...I tell her..."Um, you cant ask for a tip back you loser"

So we get a good laugh out of the whole bizarre money exchange.

Shortly there after the games begin. Mind you again I have NEVER played poker, nor am I a people person. The people at our table were nice....One was so old he looked like he could of been on life support if you took his smokes away...One was cross eyed..Two gentleman had no teeth..And the woman next to me..Well she was ok, I could not spot anything wrong with her..

I ended up winning 2 hands......How?....I don't have a stinking clue how, but I now think I was born to play poker..I will be going next week.
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My mom had a Dr. appointment yesterday with her oncologist..( she has had breast cancer twice and has had a masectomy)....This Dr told her that her type of cancer is genetically handed down and wants her to get genetic couneling ,to make sure she doenst have the genes for it, cause if she does, then I need to get the same blood work done...Ovairian cancer and breast cancer could strike at anytime if I am a carrier...Damn it...I was trying to hold of another 60 years before I had my boob willingly squished. Wanted to be so senile that I do not realize my bosoms are hanging out for another person to squish....Do they knock you out for that?....


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Well my laptop is on the Fritz. Which sadness me. I can not roam around my dwelling freely with an internet connection. Nope , Christina is reduced to actually walking down to the basement and having to sit on this hard chair. I am so much better than that. Hubby thinks we need a new battery. Damn it again. So if I do not respond to commnets or get to your blogs in a timely fashion this is why...This computer is so slow. Damn it again.

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If I play poker now, does this mean I will be toothless, take up smoking and become a drunk?..Life might be looking up after all people.

Toodles