No post, just hello hottie of the day

In honor of turkey day..I give you my very speacil animal man..

Jeff Corwin..



















not sure what i did but he is on here twice....oh well..I dont mind.

Happy turkey day friends

Ho-ho merry thanksgiving

So tomorrow will we all gather round our tables..( or whoever may be cooking) and consume massive qaunties of carbs, sugars, and protein. Then about 20 minutes later we will lay our rears on whatever prospective seating we can find. We may fight over who gets to lay in the coziest chair, or the fattest sofa.

The husband is in charge of the turkey here. Where as I am in charge of the rest. This is because if the turkey sucks, I am not to blame. It seems the whole Thanksgiving dinner centers around the goodness of the turkey..You can have killer sides, but if the turkey sucks.might as well pack up and head to Arby,s.

I will be making cheesy potatoes, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, rolls,stuffing, 2 pumpkin pies and 2 banana cream pies ( with homemade crust ladies!!) and I will probably make some sugar cookies..In the shape of pumpkins and
turkeys of course.

We will eat about 2, then be ready to crash for the night by 2:30. After I have cleaned up the stinking mess, we will cuddle around and maybe watch some movies or just veg on whatever we find on the telly.

Friday I will go shopping. I will try not to knock over anyone. When it comes to bargins and or deals of any kind I tend to become greedy/disgruntled/hostile. So if we have a run in tomorrow I apologize in advance for knocking you down and taking that Dora doll out of your hands as it was the last one. My deepest apologies to you and yours:)

Then Saturday we may decorate for Christmas. I hate this. I hate the mess, I hate the smell of the tree..But most of all I hate the freaking needles that fall off the tree and cause me to have minor bleeding in my foot region. Then the cat or dog, maybe both will knock off at least one ornament and shatter it to a million pieces. Then one of the kids will walk in the mess before I clean it...Hence more minor bleeding from the foot region. Fun to be had by all.

Some things I am thankful for this year

1. My spawns are growing and changing everyday. I just no that everyday that passes is one more day closer to the day they move out:-)

2. My warm house. Up here in Gods country she gets pretty nippy. I am lucky to have such a nice house and nice things. I hate where I live but it could be much worse.

3. The husband. He lets me boss him around, control the telly, and yell at him for no good reason other than I am just being my ole bitchy self.

4.Friends. although I am much lacking in the area, I am thankful at the prospective of meeting a good friend. I know there is some out there somewhere!!

5.Blogging. This year I was introduced to the bizarre world of blogging. A place where I can safely complain and moan about everything, talk about nonsense, and just plain be crazy. And I thank you guys for reading and keeping me laughing with your own stories. You guys are the best.

Well I will end it here. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and eats way too much food and needs to go up one pants size.

I will leave you with a new "hello hottie"








FOR THOSE OF YOU WITH SMALL KIDS YOU KNOW THIS IS "SPORTACUS" FROM LAZY TOWN. AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS..I RECOMMEND YOU WATCH ANYWAY!!..YUM YUM:-)

Toodles

Introducing new segment

I have so much I want to tell you. But my pill is kicking in and this would end up making no sense...

although my son did ask me today what it meant if you showed your middle finger. Me being the cool mom I am says to the young lad "it means if you use it,you are on a downward spiral to hell and that boarding school is inevitable...Sorry dude..thems the rules" I am out ruled by The Bibile.YA every heard of it honey?...Says in there I think..Maybe just assuming that it has a sentences about longating your middle finger and damnation to hell.....Hey...I am just sayin

so I think I have scared him out of that....He says he had not pulled this digit in the upward position alone........But I don't believe it..Not a word of it...When an 8 year old boy says "hey man, I didn't show my finger" yah gonna believe it? Ya that is what I thought..!!!

So here is hoping I have detoured him from giving the bird on any given holiday, event, social outing, and or church function. I think it worked on him not defecating in the outside bushes and various flower beds....that don't belong to us!! Yup the neighbors had to be pleased to see human sized turds as they mowed the lawn..

I am gonna start having a hello hottie.....It will be at the end of every post..A picture of my hottoe for the day.."hello hottie"

without further adu here is my "hello hottie" for today
"hello hottie











yes it is Dr House!!!..He is a drug user,limp,bad bed side minor...But I say "put a gown on me and let him "check me up"

I hope any of this post made sense..When I wake up in the morning and realize it doesn't...I will put on a different one....But I hope you enjoy my new segment..Hello hottie.

Have a happy hump day !!
Toodels

Hot or not

ok after yesterday,s post I feel the need to share with you some of my celebrity crushes..And I want to see if anyone agrees with me..It seems I am in the minority..

I do not discriminate, I have some ladies in the group....

so I will do it in groups. First group is

" tad bit odd"

















now this is my childhood fantasy of a husband. In retrospect, I see this would have been a bad idea. Only because he has way too many high heels...But I do love him dearly...



















now this is a toofer one. You no I love George...But I also have an attraction to Sir Elton. I have seen him in concert 3 times...He is amazing....But George is just a simply beautiful looking man..nuf said
















now this is Anthony..aka...The blue wiggle...I have had dreams about this man...Dreams that would make this an x-rated site..So lets just leave it at that..mmmkay!!


Next category is "just damn good looking"












I normally like your average "metrosexaul" male...ya no..The guys that like hair gel and clear polish...But Colin Ferrel...He is just plain yummy...Kind of a bad boy...I should prolly spank him:)





















if you watch Nip/Tuck you know who this is.....This is the man I would like to do my lipo and boob job...Only because he usually gives a little extra loving care..If ya no what I mean???

Next category is "funny men"

















there is something completely adorable about this guy..Good ole Dave Letterman...I stay up just to watch him....



















Will Ferrel. He is one of the funniest men....If you can get past the afro, he is very handsome..Me likey Will:-)

Next category is adorable ladies





















ok in my opinion, she is one of the prettiest things in the whole world...And she is an Oscar winner you no?? Cant beat that:-)




















nothing like a chick who can rock it out....I love Cheryl Crow...She is about the only female singer I enjoy...Rock on with you and your much younger boy toy Lance..















not only is Ellen funny, but she is completely adorable!!!!



Ok there ya go....Now does anyone agree??? And if you don't..Tell me who gets your heart pumping..( spouses and or boyfriend/girlfriend don't count, that is a given)

Cant wait to hear!!

Toodles

I couldn't resist

this is for you Kish...LOL



























Now you tell me...What is not to like honey:-)

If your confused, check the post below!!

I need a cold shower now


















ok, which is better?......When I look at this one, I really don't need my cold shower anymore..

" cause u gotta have Faith"

or my personal favorite

" I want your sex, I want your love"

OK I love him...So sue me...He is a beautiful mold of a man..His face...His voice..His face..Oh did I say that already??

This is a true example of "getting better looking with age" huh?

I think he is sexy....oh yes..( not there, but up at the top:-)

OK I need that cold shower again:-)

No matter..

No matter what anyone tells you, eating a whole strawberry Sara Lee cheesecake by yourself is never a good idea.

No matter what your spawns say when you ask them if they have homework, you can not believe them . Because they will tell you "no" then half hour after bedtime they will creep out of their room and say " I think I might have some homework"

No matter if you use lotion for skin firming, you will still be ugly and flabby because you suck.

No matter how old you are, when you hear that the Charlie Brown thanksgiving special is coming on, you get a little excited.

No matter how good looking you think George Michael is, you can not change the fact that he is gay and you are to flabby and unfirm for him to give you the time of day anyway.

No matter what time it is, you always think its a good time for a nap.

No matter how many times you wish, they will not be doing a re-count of the 2000 and 2004 presidential election.

No matter what Wil Ferral is in, he cracks your ass up.

No matter how many times I hear country music, I still want to shoot myself in the foot when I hear it.

No matter how long you walk/run on your treadmill, there is no way in hell you will burn off the whole cheesecake, nachos, 2 tacos, jello, steak, and garlic mashed potatoes that you consumed all weekend...Because your a fat ass and stupid for eating all that crap...But your pmsing , so it is ok.

No matter what, God still loves ya:)

Happy Monday

Toodles

...And the verdict is

well boobies seems to be the winner..Yeah for boobies...

(if u have no idea what I am talking about, better read last post)

The husband is now telling me that since I have all my friends on here, that maybe he can find some friends and go out on the weekends with..This is all fine and good, only that I don't go out with you guys, my rear end is stuck home pretending that I have friends, reading about your life cause mine is so damn boring. This is the difference buddy. I don't leave , so over my cold, dead, rigamortis ridden body will you leave the confines of this nearly 3000 square foot palace of poopy diapers and whining. End of story...Unless you make a friend with someone who has a wife worth while talking too..And hey, then maybe we can double date.

Otherwise drop it buster..If anyone is leaving the confines of this crap whole it is me. Hate to break it to you like that..But since you boycott my blog anyway, guess it don't make much difference.

And last night The husband created a monster. He let baby spawn lay in bed with covert spy spawn. Now this little darling bundle I call call my "baby" thinks she can just sleep there whenever she feels like it. I tried putting her in her cage last night, but she cried and said " seep ober dare momma...wit bbbbay" (that is what she calls covert spy spawn,bbbaby) .

I was not comfortable with this arrangement. I like her in her cage. She is a baby for crying out loud. But the husband seems to think we should get her a bed. Oh hell no.
So when she fell asleep last night I had the husband put her safely in the confines of her cage...That is where she belongs, until she has to curl in the fetal position to fit in there...Nuf said on that!!

I am making chili for dinner. And this poses many problems. First off the kids hate chili, so that means I make 2 different dinners..I run a diner on these days.
But my biggest problem lies with the fact that chili makes The husbands body to very gross things...things that smell like someone or something crawled up his rear end and died. I am thinking of buying Beano.."if you take beano before, there will beano gas after"

So in honor of what could be a rough night and early morning..I leave you with this little poem or ditty if you will

beans, beans the musical fruit
the more you eat em the more you toot
the more you toot the better you feel
so lets it beans for every meal

there you have it....Happy Sunday

Toodles**

editors note...the chili was a no go..I tried using my vegatarian stuff instead of my usaul ground turkey...big mistake..not the normal brand I have had..the chili tasted like maybe it had ground testicales in it..(ok, dont ask me how I know this..mmkay)

so we are having tacos...with my ground turkey...(we do not eat beef..pretty soon we wont be eating poultry...*cough* can we say Bird Flu.

You be the judge

These are the lame decorations this peace of crap town chooses to "flaunt" during this very festive holiday season.

Now Kissing Spawn says these look like glasses....Yup, agreed.

Covert Spy Spawn says..(now these are her words) they look like "boobies".

OK I don't know where my baby girl heard such vulgar adjectives for body part, but this is what she said.

Now what do you think?

I may need to set up another collection fund for this towns Christmas decorations..This is pretty damn sad...Kinda like what Charlie Browns, town might be decorated like...
















and I want to thank Melis for making all my blinkies...she made them just for me...Now that is one hell of a woman......take note of the Blue wiggle...oh yeah...she did it....and dont you go asking her to make you one too...he is mine ladies:-)

Toodles**

Oh and I posted in my "other blog"...it has been a while..if u need the address let me know....i can email it too you..

I look forward to your comments

And then there was one....:(

I had a bit of a shock this morning. I woke to find one of my bunnies had....passed on. Not sure what happen, they were both fine when I went to bed...

In lue of flowers please send your condolences (in the green paper form) to:
Fight the flab and winter home foundation
c/o Christina
123 my street
Minneapolis, MN

**and no, while The husband was gone all week I did not meet a crazy fling ,so they could become obsessed with me and put my rabbit in a boiling pot. No matter what the rumors are...it did not happen:-)

ok go ahead and read the real post for today..if u can wipe your tears fast enough

False advertising....

As I mentioned in my post from Thursday, I am dealing with some, shall I call them "issues" with some crap.

I had also mentioned my slightly tan not so taught ..Nether region.

Now mind you I try to workout everyday. Try being the operative word here folks. So I do enlist the help of some products to help me reach my butt firming goals. ( as well as firming any other areas that may need a bit firming up). I have been using Jergins Skin Firming lotion on and off for the better part of 2 years now. And I will be damned if I get bad bottle every time. Not once have I had it tighten or firm anything.

I am beginning to think Jergins has a stake out on my having a not so taught buttock. Like they know I will be back in a month to re-stock my supply of their gibberish nonsense. And I do...That is what kills me. I spend my 5 or 6 bucks every month to re-supply my garden of youth and firmness. But alas, I have not come into the luck of any firmness anywhere.

So for today, and the rest of my days ( until the lipo and the boob job) with a not so taught buttock and bosom.

All this girl is asking for is a little help. I do not want the body I had when I was 18. Ok, who the hell am I kidding, I do. But I know I am 30 freaking years old, and it just aint in the gene pool anymore.

Just my damn luck....A $2000.00 bill for crap that wasn't finished..(check out last post for details) and I am being ripped off by Jergins.

Is there any justice in this cruel , cruel world?

Toodles

Servicemaster sucks a$&

so remember how I had my mini "flood" in the basement a few weeks ago? At the time I had asked the woman who was coming over what the cost was going to be..She would tell me " oh I don't do much with the billing, you need to speak with Joe Blow, he does all that"....

Well I called Mr. Joe Blow and he informed me he would get back with me that day, with a quote of what has been done and what it will be to finish the job. After 3 or 4 days I had The Husband call Joe Blow to find out what the hell is going on. We told them they were not doing anymore work until we had an estimate.

Well today, nearly 3 weeks later, I get the bill. I tell you I nearly had a full blown cardiac arrest. Total bill $1,609.22.......

and the freaking job isn't even done

What the hell.....What the freaking hell?????

Joe Blow can kiss my slightly tan but not so taught ass....( I know the language)..But this momma is fuming.....How can the bill be that much? When the woman told me for the whole to job to be complete it would more than likely me under a grand......Well the job aint done, and its nearly 2 fuc*ing grand.


Then, my insurance company for my home in Michigan calls."um, is your insurance still escrowed"

" oh hell yes it is"

"well your bank has not sent payment and it is due to be cancelled on Dec 1st"

Well if my house were to burn down..( I am just saying) It better before Dec 1st...

The nice woman at the insurance company was going to be calling the bank, I guess they pulled this stunt last year too...I guess I had not known it....

If that situation isn't cleared up soon, Citizens First Bank of crap hole, Michigan will be getting a strongly worded call from my slightly tan ,not so taught a$&..

Oh hell yeah, this lady means business..

And BTW, it is getting firmer everyday, with the help of my treadmill.....Just for the record:-)

Toodles

mean moms

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:

I loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to make you go pay for the bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all.I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.Was your Mom mean?
I know mine was.

We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work.
We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs.

I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them.

While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have never been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is what's wrong with the world today.

It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

what i saw on 8 mile

I am sure you have heard of the movie...maybe even fans of the singer, and his name slips my mind..I am obviously not a fan:)

But Friday night as we were driving home from the airport, we went down 8 mile. Now some of 8 mile is pretty scarey, some is just scarey. I noticed a particular strip of highway with more than a few "gentlemans bars" and 2 titles struck me as very funny. Even down right humerous.

First up was " Hot Tamolies" live nude women with hot tamolies....that is along the lines of what the sign read. Now I would think, gosh maybe I should go in there and throw some water on her. I mean have you ever tasted a tamolie?..They can be very spicy you know?

Next was " Booby Trap." Ok now this name I found odd in the fact that the thought of " booby" in trap seems very painfull. I mean you no what a trap does to a mouse....ouchhhhh.....I just did not see how this name would apeal to anyone.Maybe its just me. I have never been in such an establishment, nor do I have any plans in the future. But the places were hopping. I know a lot of those men in there were going to be going home with some "stripper dust" on them....shame, shame, shame:)



Confrences went well. Both spawns are doing well. Covert Spy spawn had a glowing report from her very young, very pretty teacher...*gag me*...she said covert spy spawn helps tie other kids shoes in class....yup, thats my girl..

Kissing Spawn is doing very well. Needs a little push in math. But is reading at a 4th grade level and is doing excellent in Languae Arts. she also said he is a very gifted artist:).

Something else she said made me the most proud of him. There is a girl in their class with Down Syndrome. His teacher said this young girl loves Kissing Spawn. She is always talking to him and telling him hello. He is the only boy this gilr talks too. And so I asked her if he is nice to her. She said Kissing Spawn is very nice to her. Draws her pictures and talks with her when she comes by his desk.

At one time this kid had a probelem with people who were differnt....He did not want to be around them nor did he treat them well. He would tell a little black boy in his Kindergaren class that he did not want to play with him becasue he was brown...WTF!!!! Now he knows that God made everyone differnt and we need to treat everyone the same. So I was very proud of him for that...

Now I need to get on him about following directions and keeping is workspace clean...Heaven help me.


It has snowed a bit...I am starting to feel very depressed. I hate this time of year. I had to freaking "warm up" my van before I left. I had ice on the windsheild. Have I told you that I hate snow and loth winter?...It is gonna be 17 degrees...How you like those apples? For 2 weeks last winter the air tempatrue was -54...and that was without the wind. Gosh I hate MN...It did not even get that cold in MI for crying out loud...

So now I am going to hault my collection for lipo and go right to collceting money for my "winter" home in Hawaii. If you donate I will let you come for a week,s visit..On the off season of course:)

Happy hump day......

Toodles

Crap I forgot to tell

I was so tired last night I forget to mention something..

While I was gone, guess who used the potty??....( please don't say the husband)

It was baby spawn. She has been wanting to sit on it lately, but has never actually went in the potty. But she did while I was gone. I am thinking I should leave more often.

I decided to keep the spawns home from school today since it was well after midnight before we got home. Well Covert Spy spawn had a meltdown. She wanted to go soooo bad..She says " but momma, I have missed way too many days."...She has only missed one day....heehee..Poor girl, she loves her kindergarten:-)

I have conferences for both tonight. And I better come back with a smile on my face, that is all I can say.

The husband is gone. He had to leave for North Carolina this morning and wont be back till early Friday morning. I told him to look for a job down there while he is there...:) Because it is ever so lightly snowing out..And this is not acceptable.



Well it isn't looking good for my donations. I guess no one cares if I need a boob reduction and some lipo...Screw you guys anyway....

( aww, u know I love ya)

I have not been able to get to everyone yet. The husband decided it was a splendid idea to take my laptop with him. Ok, it is his laptop. But I have put more miles on it than he, so it should be mine, right?....
Anyway, I am stuck with my desktop and it is in the basement. So I can only come down when she is napping or when Dora is on...

how awful is that? Am I using Dora as a sitter? Crap, wonder how much that is gonna set me back. I hope she isn't expensive sitter.:)

Well she is napping so I am gonna go do the same, I did not sleep last night so my eyes are weary. And Martha will be on shortly so that always puts me to sleep..

I will check on the rest of you guys tonight when she goes to bed....

Peace

Toodles

Home sweet home

its late, I am tired.

But we are home.

This trip has brought to light many things. One is that traveling with 2 kids ALONE, is not wise unless you have plenty of Xanex and or liquor.

We all had a good time, I took my camera and did not take one freaking picture.

But I need a vacation now.

We are under a Winter Storm watch. Going to get a crap load of snow. ( to me anything over a dusting is a crap load of snow).

I hate winter, I hate winter, I hate winter.

Funny things said while I was on my "get away"

Kissing spawn gets all bent out of shape when I tease him about kissing a girl. When I tease him about the barbie head he says " I am in training mom"


We are in my dads truck taking the kids to the MIL house. Kissing spawn says " so where you guys off too?" (talking to me and Jennifer)

" you girls must be off to the mall, all women and teenage girls like to waste time at the mall"

For a brief moment I thought maybe he was thinking I was young enough to look like a teenage girl. Then he says.." Well, old women like to shop too"

I was also convinced anyone I saw or heard coughing or sneezing was transporting the "Bird Flu" onto my plane. I wanted to tell them to please "get the hell away form myself and the children."

I gave anyone I saw who looked to be ill, a very nasty look. If you are sick, please stay home. We don't want any "bird flu " here.

If you plan a boarding a plane with or chicken, please rethink it. Or even a pigeon or Robin. I hate birds right now. I wont eat them, nor will I feed them. message to all birds

take your flu..And fly south already....And if u live in the south, I mean take it to Canada. If you live in Canada, I mean take it back to Asia. If you live in Asia. Please forgive me, for I have no idea where to send it.

disclaimer, I do not want the bird flu to travel to any of those spots. I am making a really bad joke. I realize it is not funny. But its late, and I am convinced I have the bird flu...

:)

I will write more later. I can not wait to go read everyone. I have missed my daily reads. I hope everyone is doing well....

Toodles

what is worse than.......

What is worse than a 4 hour lay over at Chicago O,Hare airport with 2 spawns ?

I dont know, you tell me.

I would rather hit my figer with a hammer and nail numrous times. If that gives you any idea

Toodles

So long..Forever....Well until Tuesday anyway:)

so we will be on our way to MSP international airport in the morning so me and 2 spawns go for a visit to the homeland and as Angie lovinly calls it sandtown...Either way..Same place..Sucks wither way..LOL

Something funny was said here today. I was joking around with the kissing spawn (which this name fits him more than ever,LOL)

Let me set it up for you....I am teasing him about kissing girls. Then covert spy spawn says " well he practices on my barbie head all da time"

oh no, my baby is making it with the hairdresser barbie..This can not be good..Not for barbie, not for him,definalty not for me...I ask him about it,,,this is what he tells

"its all true mom. Its all true" with a big smile on his face....I have lost my son to a barbie head.I just hope he was at least caressing her cheeks and play with her hairr...Least she is a cheap date, right?

ok...I will be gone till at least Tuesday.And I hope all my peeps have good weekends and stay out of trouble....I am going to find trouble....heehee

think of me when u see a plane fly by....Just not one you happen so see skid off a run way...:) that one wont be me (I hope anyway)

I got my new contacs and dang, I shore do look hot..LOL.....Too bad u cant see...Just trust me though....But I I see a yah at the airport,,,well, by all means by me dang sandwich:-)

have agood weekend guys and girls...I will miss u all....I will post Tuesday and go do some fast catch up on all my peeps..Love u guys...Stay safe and be good:)

tootles

Momma,s getting a new pair of..............Glasses:-)

Well my dog has done it....Again...This time she chewed so bad they are beyond reconition.

Yup , my pup chewed my glasses. She chewed up both the bows so the only thing on the ends is shard metal..No plastic..

My little cushy eye pads for your nose...Yup there missing..

So today I am getting some . Well contacts actually. I have not been able to wear contacts in over a year, so I am excited about getting them again.

So there ya have it...My dog has done one good thing. Wouldn't have an excuse to get new ones if she wasn't so hungry:)



If you wanna read my post that only half makes sense...Go ahead and read the one before this....But READ AT YOUR OWN RISK:)

Toodles

Another hulla hoop fiasco

Another installment of The Husband hulla hooping..

TH: "HOLY CRAP DID YOU SEE?"

Me:" see what?"

TH:" I was doing it, I was really doing it"

Me: " that's nice dear," ( as baby spawn is sitting on the coffee table clapping her hands saying " good job momma"...Kid cant even get the name right).


I made a horrifying discovery today. I looked at wrappers on the counter, thinking who ate all these candies. I heard a scream, I wondered where it was coming from. Then I realized it was me. I had realized I ate 7 Almond Joy,s. the little bite size, so I figure its ok....What I don't understand about this whole situation, is I don't care for chocolate. And I hate nuts. ( insert you own joke here, Melis..LOL).

I guess its true what they say..." Sometimes you feel like a nut, and sometimes you don't"



We are leaving for our venture to the "Homeland". me and 2 of my spawns will be flying the skies. And I am ohhh so looking forward to our 3 hour lay over in the Windy City..They should find that real entertaing....I am sure I will say these words more often then ever...."we will be there when we get there"

Ok I must admit my Ambien is effecting me..Just ask Melis..Poor thang was subjected to my retarded questions...And no her hubby was not moving...His blinkie was stationary..LOL...But I saw him moving...This is how my mind is right now..I see things that are not really there....Good Lord..I better go to bed..

I have so many things I had wanted to talk about tonight, but I cant right now. It would not make a lick of sense. Like why I think my cat wants to type on my laptop so she can write a letter......I don't think cats can type..But this is in my head as she is sitting here by me.yup..she just told me she wants to type..So I better go because she is not allowed in the computer room downstairs because she sometimes goes potty in the corner in there when she gets trapped in there.

so she needs my laptop, so I better go...Cant keep your pussy...I mean cat....Pussycat waiting....Ook I am done..

Love to all
Toodles

BTW, the comments are weird now.I hate the word verifaction so I have it set up an differnt way to control spam...your comment will not be seen immedialty...but it will be posted...so dont worry if it isnt there after you write it..I have to approve all commnets..that way I can control the spam..much easier this way...

so just in case you were wondering...as soon as i get the email..your commnets will be posted..your commnets are very imporant to me..so I just wanted to keep you up to speed on this issue....if i am slow at getting to my email, it will take longer, but they will get there:)
thanks peeps{

Holy crap, stop the presses folks

The Earth must be on a slightly different tilt as of late. Reason being you ask? I did something that I never thought I would ever do. I mean never.

I am a little Leary about even telling you. But I feel I need to tell you, just so you do not think I am hiding anything from you:)

Ok, here is the sad truth. I have joined the church choir. Go ahead, poke fun at the church girl. Tell me how I wont get into heaven any quicker by singing at the church.

I know all this. I have no idea what I was thinking. Tuesday was the first practice I attended, and it was rough. They are doing practice for the Christmas program. I have not sung in a choir since highschool. I was even asked to sing at our graduation..But politely declined as I hate being the center of attention.

But man, my throat is killing me..ugg


Anyhoo, I am starting to rethink the idea I had back in the early summer or late spring. I am wanting to set up a fund of sorts. A fund to benefit me. For those of you who remember, I was wanting to take donations.

I am much too poor too afford this. So with the help from my fellow bloggers I just may be able to pull it off..Of course I am talking about good ole fashion plastic surgery. Just enough to cover a boob reduction and a tad bit of lipo. I will save up your hard earned money one dollar at a time.

Now here is the breakdown of what I need. Just so you can figure your budget accordingly. Because I am cool like that.

Boob reduction: apprx. $ 4,000

Lipo: roughly $ 5,000 ( this is tummy,thighs, and whatever else they see fit)

I know, I know. Your thinking, my gosh you are perfect the way you are. Yes, I know this. But I just need a little pick me up:)

Then after I recover I will need a vacation. So I will also be taking donations for this. I can not take a good vacation till I look just right in my bikini. That would just be wrong.

So make all donations payable to:

Fixing flab
c/o Christina
123 hot mamma street
Minneapolis, MN

I will not be accepting personal checks. Only because it is hard to cash out of state checks. Not because I think you will send me a bad check:-)

So go ahead, get me a money order, or even just cash. I will accept all forms of it..20,s and even 10,s. But I would really rather prefer bigger bills such as 50,s and 100,s..Much easier to delegate and count.

Thank you in advance for you kind and generous donations. God really looks up to those who donate to charities. Think about it....Its all just a thought:)


Toodles

:-)

.....Um, Martha. And a promise to you

I decided today as I was watching Martha , to count how many times she has "um" and "aahh".

yes I truly have nothing better to do with my time.

So in the first 10 minutes of her show , she said "um" 27 times and "aahhh" 15.
What is up with that? Don't get me wrong, Martha is da bomb when it comes to cooking and cleaning. But she is not quite up to par on having a talk show. A live one anyway.

But it must be nice to take credit for other people,s ideas and recipes. She has become a gazillionaire off of other peoples ideas. If you think all those recipes are hers...You are sadly mistaken. I will give credit where credit is due. And the woman looks like she knows her way around the kitchen. I have never actually tasted anything she has
made,so I really can not vouch for her cooking. Although she does seem to know how too slop together a cake.

But she really needs to be coached on the proper etiquette of talk show jargon. You do not say "um" and "aahh'..It is not filler. If you truly have nothing to say, or your thoughs kind of slip your mind, maybe rehearse or get better writers..I don't have the answers Martha, but do something my sweet.


Ok now on to other business...I hereby swear that I will no longer blog while the effects of my sleeping pill are affecting my mind. When I went to read my post from early morning, I was not sure what the hell I was even talking about. But it makes for some funny reading I guess..Well maybe not:-)

Toodles


























I forgot I was going to put this one here, sorry there are 2..But the one was too small and I am such a Moran I can not get it off...My apologies to you and yours..

Just trying to get you in the spirit if turkey day..Can I get a gobble gobble?

More useless crap from useless me

useless tip number

1. If you let baby spawn spend the better of 4 days sucking on blue colored juice, you better expect green poop to follow for 7 days.so don't be alarmed..It is my PSA for you guys

2. If you leave tuna on the counter for the kitty to eat, the dog will knock it down and lick it till she slits her tongue on the sharp edges.

3. You will have to carry baby spawn to the basement so her feet don't touch the once floating carpet

4 .My covert spy says " its ok, me and baby spawn can share the same straw, because we share the same saliva right momma?"

5. Should not blog after I take an Ambien and a little cough syrup.


Life sometimes throws you balls. It can be good balls, footballs, bowling balls..I don't care..

Make sure you make the best calls with the balls you have. No need to delve into this anymore than I am..You get my point:-) you peeps are smart.

or if you don't prefer the term balls you can use dice,cards,lemons, whatever term you see fit. I am not going to make you say balls if you so choose not.I am cool like that.



That was WTMI.....I know....Its the Ambien, it makes me crazy....

Toodles

Don't ever let your baby see the carpet float

This has been a very insightful weekend. I have learned a few things, that I am going to share with you all . Because I am cool like that..

First, don't expect your baby to walk on the carpet she saw "floating" the week before. Because she will under no circumstances let her feet touch the ground..I mean under no circumstances will she do this..Holy crap...What was once her playground Mecca is now the source of terror...

last weekend when the carpet people were drying the carpets, they brought in huge fans that made the carpet float because they were trying to dry under it...

Not only will she not walk on the carpet in the basement, she will not even walk on carpet the resembles it..Even if it is on a different floor of the house, and a different color....even if it is a freaking throw rug!!

I thought her 2 year old brain would forget about the floating carpet by now. But holy crap this kid has a memorey like an elephant. I mean I expect her to remember things like her name, my name, where her body parts are, where who food goes, who Elmo is, the words to every Wiggle song. But I did not expect her to remember the floating carpet that was here 7 freaking days ago....Lesson to be learned..babies to do not forget a damn thing.

Another lesson I have learned the hard way....

No scary movies because holy crap, it effects them for weeks on end. Not only that, but they have memories that are far better than our own.

Lesson learned Dear Lord, and I thank you for showing me the error of my ways. I am a changed woman because of this whole fiasco.

Ahh, the joys of motherhood. But I wouldn't have it any other way:-)

Oh and baby spawns Dr called the house Sunday to check on her. He said her urine test was clean and wanted to see how she was....Man..That is one heck of a DR.

Toodles

Everybody and their brother

Today we went here





















But had to park here....Because everyone and their brother went here today















Which is across a busy highway. Which in the end was a lot easier than parking in the parking garage....

Kissing spawn did not want to go, so it was just covert spy spawn and us. She wanted to go to Camp snoopy....So here are a few pics from there....Some are from the top of the Ferris wheel her and I went on..









































































Nothing too exciting....But I swear everyone was there today....Not sure why, but it was busier than I have ever seen it...

Well have a good weekend......I bet I saw you there , but didn't know it was you:-)

Toodles

Draining few days, but oh well

There truly is nothing more draining than being sick with worry. I feel so completely drained mentally and physically. My house is looking like I have neglected it for months. But truth be told, I have been so tired. I mean when you are working on about 10 hours of sleep or less, for the whole freaking week, it wears on ya..

Anyhoo, I think she is fine. On to other things.

So much funny crap has been said here, but I will be darned if it hasn't escaped me.

although I must say when I do get the chance to sleep, I am having Wiggle dreams again. My gosh I find myself in the back of the big red car, and I like it. It has been a few months since my last dream. And the funny thing is, I have not even watched The Wiggles in a long time.

And I have been finding myself growing more attracted to the freaky looking blue Doodlebop. Why I don't know, for I am sure he is gay and would not give me the time of day, plus I have no freaking idea what he looks like. But I watch him dance, and that is what gets me. He can move, you can tell he is a trained dancer...God bless him..And someone needs to tell that weird looking girl Doodlebop to use to teeth whitener..Man she has the yellowiest teeth I have seen in ages. I am a teeth person, that is the first thing I look at. Call me crazy. Look, you will see what I mean..We should all pitch in and get her some crest whitening strips.

Why is it there is nothing good on TV on Friday night? Don't they think us (meaning me) moms with no life and go nowhere on weekends, like to watch something good on Friday nights? Or are we a forgotten breed?

Hope everyone has a good weekend. I may take the older spawns to see Chicken Little. I think it is out now.

Well c-ya Monday....

One more week before we head back to the homeland for a few days..

Toodles

Not again

Baby spawn seemed fine all day yesterday, she even slept all night the night before. Then just before bedtime she starts acting weird. She appears to be scared over some things. She gets kinda clingy. Then when I put her to bed she cries for damn near an hour. She finally goes to sleep.

Then at 2 am guess who is up? She would not go back to sleep. I bring her up to our bed where she proceeds to tell me " no, momma, no night night"

Why wont you go night night!!!!!!!! I am going crazy here!!! Cant you see that?

Before bed and while she was in bed she would say " owe"....So I would ask her what was wrong. " juice momma" well I told her you do not get juice in bed...But she contuined with her "owe" for a long time....

Now is this kid really in pain, or is it a desperate attempt to get more attention?

Did she wake up in the night because she was scared or in pain or because she had crap in her diaper?.....

Being a parent is the most gut wretching job of all. Its like you totally lose yourself. You constantly worry about your spawns. Your heart aches and you feel an empty feeling in your chest if you think something is wrong with them. You no longer think for yourself. Your spawns consume your every waking thought.

The moment you think they are ill, all hell breaks loose. What was a good day, has all of a sudden become one of the worst. And at least if your spawns are older and can verbalize what they are feeling you no if its an emergency situation or not . When your dealing with a 2 year old whose favortie word are " Dora, oots (boots), juice, night night, no, and owe" you kind of are clueless as to what their potential aliment is. Maybe they are not feeling good, or maybe they are just pissed off about something. How the hell are we suppose to know?

Now my gut is telling me she is not having night terrors. But what is it? I don't know. Maybe she is going thro some phase of sorts. Maybe she is in pain somewhere.

Why don't toddlers and babies come with a freaking manual? I swear my ticker cant take it anymore.

I am taking her to the doctor again today, and I am going to demand something be done. They are either going to do some bloodwork, or a full damn body scan!!! Or give me a new modle that sleeps and does not complain about being in pain every 20 minutes. Got it doc?!!

If I knew having spawns was going to take a toll on my ticker, and make me feel like this, I may have got a dog first.

I will update you as it warrants...Have a good weekend

Toodles

I want that

It is getting that time of year again. You know what I mean, the flood of commercials for useless toys that leave your kids saying " I want that". Now baby spawn is getting in on the game. every time she sees a commercial with anything with Dora in it, this is what she says to me " momma, look Dora boots, for me". Ugh!! You are much to young to demand such gifts. She desperately wants that Dora that dances. She has a mini stroke when she sees this commercail she yells for me,jumps and dances. When the commercial is over she says " hey"

So far I have not seen a commercial where one or all of the spawns does not say " I want that".

I told them they need to talk this all over with Santa. I was not getting in the middle of it. What sucks is I don't think kissing spawn really believes in Santa anymore. When I told him he needed to talk to Santa, he looked at me like you have to be kidding me.

I would love for them to believe in Santa forever, that way they don't come running to me when they don't get what they want. I would rather it be his fault.

As soon as I see Santa, I am going to ask him for a new camera. I am going to tell him that he can not expect me to take decent photos with my crappy hand me down camera.

I better go, this post was really useless and pretty much a waste of my time and now yours if you actually read the whole thing. I apologize, you can not get that one minute 20 seconds back. My bad.

Toodles

One of them kids

well I am hoping baby spawn is getting over whatever episodes she was having. I am hoping for a whole night with no crying or waking up. Why does my twisted mind automatically go to the fact...geesh she must have a brain tumor or something?...Why cant I just say, must just be a phase, a bad dream, a little bit of a tummy bug, or even a, heck I don't feel like sleeping episode. every time one of my kids complains of something or just isn't acting themselves, I am convinced they have cancer, or a brain tumor. I so need therapy.

As I was watching old episodes of Reading Rainbow with the kids tonight, I had a sort of a flashback if you will. You know the kids who come on at the end of each episode to talk about a book they just read? I always wanted to be one of them kids. Although I was not what you would call an avid reader, I would of read something to get on the show. Maybe talk about the latest Judy Blume book I read. ( I always loved Judy Blume) But the books they always reviewed on there were the lamest books ever. So I guess it all worked out for the best.

And I was also watching a riveting episode of Mr. Rodgers. I still love that man. Anyway, Neighbor Aber was in the neighborhood of make believe and he had a cell phone. I mean the kind that was about the size of your foot along with a pull out antenna like the old rabbit ears. He had it attached nicely to his belt. And it even vibrated. And he answered it, and it was a freaking flip phone...Man, they were way ahead of their time on that show...And I learned your body is all one piece. Ahh, good I was very worried about that. Thank you Fred, I miss you. RIP.

that's all I have. I will keep you posted on if baby spawn made it thru the night. Please send a little prayer our way.

Toodles

:-)



**Editors note**

Baby spawn slept all night long..hip hip horray:)

u can go about your buisness now, thank you for the good thoughts and the prayers

Oh crap

well I ended up taking baby spawn to the doctor this morning. She has not slept for the last 3 nights. And she has episodes of being crabby and clingy. No fever and no other symptoms. Well the doctor said she can not find anything physically wrong with her.

Her diagnosis, she is having night terrors. Oh crap, and it started the night I let her watch American werewolf in London...Oh no, its my fault.

But I don't think that is the problem. I am not sure what it is, but I find this very unlikely. She gave me a paper on it, and the only thing on it that matches her sypmtoms is she awakes 1-2 hours after sleeping. The rest of them is not her.

She has no ear infection, not teething, no belly pain when she pressed on her tummy, no fever.

So what the heck is wrong with her? I will not believe that she is having night terrors. It makes no sense.

I give up, if it continues for another day, I will be taking her back.

Oh heck anyway

toodles

It was a tuna kinda night

When hubby is gone, I tend to be lazy when it comes to making dinner. Then I have to remember I have three spawns here who need to eat or they will die. Being I had a lazy spell I thought I would make something easy. AHHHH I KNOW TUNA CASSEROLE...Well big mistake. I used a variety of noodles. Small ones and bigger ones. Covert Spy spawn said it looked and smelled like gravy and was not going to partake in the eating of the dinner ritual. Baby spawn takes one look at her bowl and shoves it away, and says " No momma, not eat it"

So I tasted it, I must admit it was not the best crap I ever ate, and I have not made tuna casserole since I was like 18...I don't like tuna, but I can gut to eat it in this manner. So I dumped it all in the garbage can and made them all peanut butter sandwiches. Awe, yes..When all else fails we have the wonderfull legume we call the peanut.

so I had no dinner but I figure all the skittles and star burst and give or take 40 tootsie rolls, hell I was good for night..But I did end up working out...gotta feel the burn ya no?..

I don't know if any of you watch nip/tuck, but something gross was just said...And I wont say the whole thing I don't want to spoil it for D. But there is no way in heck I am gone wear seamen on my face ,isn't gona happen, I will grow old gracefully...nuf said.

If this post makes no sense I am sorry. I took my sleeping pill as I was writing and it has taken effect sooner that I had figured. I am what one might consider "good frame of mind"...I am sure I have made no sense...So maybe check back later fo a post that makes sence....Well, not sure if any of them really make much sense. Better leave now..I am looking for my kitty to bring me a towel...Why would o think my kitty would bring me a damn towel....See what I mean,.I must go..toodles

I need to win the lotto, serouisly

well so far from our " flooding fiasco" we had to fork out $250.00 for the carpet people to even come here. Then we had to fork out $ 135.00 yesterday for the plumber. We had tree roots growing int he pipe..lovely.

Then the carpet cleaner lady came again today to tell me we have mold growing in the wall and they will c0me tommorw to replace it...SO I kindly ask " how much is this going to cost me?"

" well, not that much, I would say under a grand"

NO..NO.. dont tell me you just said a grand...Holy crap no..we have a $1000 deductable...Oh hell no....So there goes Christmas..LOL

I dont know why it is, but shortly after we own a home it turns into the "money pit"..What starts off as seeminly nice home, are hidden little tressuare troves of problems and all around mayhem. And we paid 700 bucks for an inspection on this house before we bought it..and It passed with flying colors..So now approaching our one year anniversary of the day we closed on this " little piece of paradise" everything seems to be going wrong..


Ok there is this commercail I see alot...and I ask why?...it is the one about a pregancy test that can tell you your pregant 5 days before your missed period..Now who the heck needs to know that fast, and why cant you wait the normal length of time? I mean It kind of spoils the fun of " oh, crap. I am late"
Just makes no sence to me. But that is just me I suppose.

Toodles

not what it use to be

well I had a very dissapointing Halloween. It just is not the same as when I was a kid. Not many homes had thier lights on, and there were not many kids out trick or treating. The streets were mostly bare. Not sure why. But it was kind of dissapointing. The kids had fun though.

We left around 5:10, and walked for what seemed like forever. We finally make it back home, I look at the clock, and its freaking 5:45.....We were gone all of 45 minutes. But they did make a haul...Baby spawn was so funny, she cant say trick or treat that well, but she would say " tank you" everytime a piece of the heavenly sugar concotion was placed in her little pumpkin. She knew...I only hope she does not think we are doing this again tommorw night...This was her first time acctaully trick or treating. I have dressed her up before, but never let her get candy because I thought she was too little.

Hubby leaves this morning for Pittsburg for a few days, so it will just be me and the spawns. Oh what fun we will have. I hope I live to tell about it..

Here are some picutres for ya, I know you have been waiting..























































I hope everyone had a nice Halloween.

Toodles