This is why I hate......

buffets......I normally don't hit the buffet circuit. I like my nutrition to be fresh, not heated under a light bulb. Call me what you will, but don't call me a buffet eater.

Me and the husband went to a pizza buffet tonight. I hate pizza, and I hate buffets. When I go to a buffet I find myself looking at the others. The ones who go up 5 or 6 times. The ones who truly get their moneys worth.

I am always worried that someone is counting the number of times I go up. I was hungry tonight, so you could of set a plate of deep fried horse in front of me and I would of ate it.

As I am going up for my first plate, I look around. I want to know if anyone is eyeballing me. I look around and everyone is overweight. I check to make sure everyone is bigger than me..

yes, I seem to be the skinniest one in here, so if I go up for numerous plates its ok...I am in need of some nourishment.

So the pressure is off me, I am wearing my workout clothes, they will see I workout. They will think...what is a girl like that doing eating pizza....She should be chewing on a carrot.

I eat my 2 slices of vegetarian pizza. I am still hungry. Do I go back up? Will they notice ? Is someone watching me? Does my ass look big in my workout pants?

Ok I know I am not skinny by any means, but I was the smallest gal there...SO I was feeling good.

I went up for more, on the way up there I see this 400 pound lady eye balling me. We make eye contact. I can sense she is watching my every move. I take a piece of pineapple and cheese. I walk away. She is still eye balling. Ok Is she in love with me? Yes, yes she must be.

After that I want a breadstick. I look around. She is looking at me..WTF!! I throw her a nasty look and go " duh"

I quickly see I have met my match. This woman is scared. Scared I will eat all her pizza, because she tends to sit there all night and eat till she vomits. I walk by her again. This time I feel her hatred. She wants me to die. She wants me to keel over so she can grab the last breadstick off my plate.

I quickly take my seat. Glaring at her. Taking a bite of my breadstick. Her face is sweating, she is mad. I quickly scarf down my stick, and go back up. I am not even hungry at this point.

Why did this whole scenario take place? Why was I competing with a 400 pound woman for pizza. I don't even like pizza.

I need therapy in the worse way.

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Covert spy spawn lost a top tooth today. It was a big bloody mess. She bit into her apple, and it was like a bloody massacre. She yells " momma my tooth, help me my tooth"

It was hangin by a thread , so once again I had to be the dentist.

I have figured it out..

I am a

1. Dentist
2.nurse
3.therapist
4.luandrymat attendant
5.chef
6.maid
7.banker
8.plumber
9.small appliance fixer
10.painter
11.redecorator
12. Baker..(crappy baker)
13.lawn mower man
14.planter
15.gardner
16.fitness instructor
17.doctor


ok , I will stop there. And you know what I get paid?

Oh yea, I don't get paid...Lets just say they couldn't afford me anyway.

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out hello hotties for today










Matthew Maca whatever

and








Christina Applegate...Maybe it cuz we have the same name...Not sure:)

Toodles