My first complaint is to the UPS man. Although you are mighty fine looking, and I mean mighty fine , it is no excuse to leave my packages in the garage . With no attempt to knock on a door or drop a note to say where my stuff is. So far this has happened 3 times this holiday season. ( cant say Christmas, that would not be PC)....
And that leads to my second complaint. For crying out loud....It is the holiday season because Christ our Lord was born at this time, hence the name CHRIST-MAS..So why on Earth do we have to change the name...We don't change the name of Hanukkah...Or Kwanza....
So I say.......MERRY CHRISTMAS, MERRY CHRISTMAS, MERRY CHRISTMAS..IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT..GO SUCK DONKEY BALLS...MMMKKKAY!!
On to my other complaint....
Dear IPOD maker,
why do you make your ear pieces too big to fit in any mortal humans ear? How can I run on my treadmill when I have to hold my dang ear pieces in? I can not shove a soccer ball in my mouth, so how do you figure I can fit that crap in my ears?...Maybe I just have extra small ear holes...Dunno, but I know for a fact they don't fit in mine.
Please send me some that will fit in my ear. These I have here are big enough to fit nicely in my cats ear....But excuse me , I do not have feline ears..I have little tiny human ears....Hello..You with me so far?
Thank you kindly
And to whoever may call my house.....don't bother, I can not answer it, for the ring alone now is enough to drive the battery into the ground......
It has also come to my attention I need a butt lift. As I was drien off from my bath..I took a good look at my backside.....Seems to have dropped a good 2 feet...How does that happen? My list keep growing. I need to get a job.
***********
Something I overheard at covert spy spawns CHRISTMAS....I mean holiday program...
This is coming out of the mouth of a kindergartener. In the middle of the program, at the top of the kids lungs..
" Mom, am I going home with you? Or am I riding the bus home?"
( not spoken by my spawn, but it would of been much funnier if it was)
Toodles
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
I have a few complaints..If u will
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21 comments:
LOL- u crack me up. on the ipod thing- i know what u mean, its so annoying, i catch myself stuffing them in as far as they could go so they don't keep falling...watch i stuff them in too far one day......
but i do know allot of peeps in the city who were forced to buy other headphones due to all the robberies in the subways and what not- since the ipod has those white headphones, they were dead give-aways....so maybe u can buy some that do fit your small ears! lol
Girl, I can be having the day from hell and all I have to do is read your blog and I am laughing and forgetting (for a little while) all the other crap going on.... thanks! When you write your first book let me know and I will buy a case and give them to all the unhappy, tight butt people I know, that'll loosen em up!
vani, why do they make them so dang small?? I bought one cuz I dont want the bulky headphones..I just can not catch a break..
Peggy,aww, your too sweet..
but I am glad to bring a smile to your face with my misery:-)
Well at least the UPS guy is fine or you would REALLY be pissed at him.
I say whatever...Merry Christmas...Happy Holiday...both work for me.
Good luck with the butt lift...LOL...sounds uplifting;)
Shelly
well they do change hanukkah because nobody (not even us Jews) know how to spell the dang thing. But as a convert I am not particulary offended by what you wish me this season, even if it is unkind. Brad however hates Christmas and gets very moody, ah well just one more week. Why is it that UPS men are so freeking HOT? I have a whole UPS fantasy that maybe we shouldn't talk about. So did the mom make the kid take the bus?
My UPS man sucks too. This was a funny post. You are just too crazy! :)
shelly,
if he was ugly..it would not of been pretyy!!...and the buttlift..very uplifting;)
Karin, oh I had not known you were Jewish...and I have not a clue how to spell it;)
ganghar, thans freind
angel Girl, I really need to get some that fit otherwise this is a complete waste of my time:-)
Marel, you are not the first to call me crazy...glad u liked it:-)
My hubby just got an IPod for Christmas (early) and he crams them in his ears then cries about how they hurt! Damn things can bring a grown man to tears - LOL!
I'm sure there are better ones out there for you...
Looks like Mr. UPS needs a good "talking to"!
al, mine was an early present too..I am worse than a 5 year old..but he is worse than a 3 year old..and i cram them in too..makes my poor little ears hurt
Christina - I agree, 100% on the Merry Christmas thing. U know, I couldn't even find a hand towel that said Merry Christmas on it, only Happy Holidays, Season's Greetings and Merry Xmas. Ok Xmas is ok for a quick note, but not to hang on my stove. Anyway, i have vowed to tell every check out person, postal employee, store clerk, MERRY CHRISTMAS at the end of each transaction, even if they CAN'T say it back because some jack off is telling them they can't. ok, so now you know how i really feel :)
as far as the ear phones, I hate that too, but they do make lot's of them and i am sure they will be compatible with the ipod. they have some that have an extension on them that hang on your ear, or even some that don't have to fit in your ear, but are like the one's that came with the old Walkman's :). So look on Ebay or your favorite store Walmart has them too :). Even Target. just ask someone in electronics if it will fit in your ipod :). Hope that helps.
Hell, i need a butt lift, boob lift, stretch mark and tummy reducers etc...it is called "having babies" HA :)
I don't want to say your misery is funny, but at least you've made me laugh today!
If it makes you feel better, I need all kinds of things done to me to make my body even begin to look presentable...lol
LOL -
You crack me up!
Really funny post C. Merry Christmas. I'm not sure I could find a donkey if I tried.
Really funny post C. Merry Christmas. I'm not sure I could find a donkey if I tried.
Kish, Merry Christmas to you too!!..I tell everyine I see it too..Out of spite mostly...what I would love is to say it to a goverment offical..dont know any though..and I am with ya on the strech mark thing..why did we have kids again?
Densie, it alawys seems i am the go to gal for an uplift...but where do i do..LMAO...and hey, your the one shedding the pounds..your gonna look better thn us..:)
Momma, glad to mae you laugh:)
Cliff, why you liked it so much you posted it twice..:)
Happy Holimaszaannukah! Ahahaha
What a funkeeee world we live in eh? I think people need to get a freakin' clue-hate me or not-there WOULD BE NO FREAKIN' CHRISTmas without da MAN.
I am so NOT PC and I don't care.
Chickybabe-ya crack me up as usual.
Anne, your cracking me up...and your right..with da Man..no freakining holiday season...Hello people;)
Just stopping by to say hi. I finally got a day off. Sorry that your ipod ear piece doesn't fit your ear...that sucks. Can you buy a different size?
Angie
Dude, what's wrong with your ears? Are the like amazingly tiny? Hee hee...
As for the Christmas/Holiday thing - I agree with you... except I don't know that God likes us telling people to suck donkey balls... I'm pretty sure... ROFL.
Weird about the UPS guy. Maybe it's so it doesn't get stolen? Now THAT would suck.
Ok.. My thoughts on:
UPS man - If he's THAT fine... I'm thinkin he needs a good spankin' for being such a bad, bad boy! *wink*
IPod - I have never gotten ANY kind of those ear things (for phone, or anything) that fit in anyone's ears! It's completely insane! I think there's a conspiracy!!!!
CHRISTMAS - I think it's a load of SHIT that people are now wanting to change it to "Holiday"! It's been fine for that last zillion years... why's it not fine now! I could go on and on about this one!!!
Play - Oh my! LMAO Again.. ya had me rollin on this one. "From the mouth of a babe"... ya gotta love it!
angie,
well I am hoping that santa pays me anohter visit with crap that fits this time:)..enjoy your day off from work
Tee, ROFL...ok..the reason I am mad at the HOT UPS man is because he put it in the gargae..where we NEVER go...I only happned to go in there to throw some recylables in there....I mena HELLO UPS man..if I used the garage my van would be in it..and HELLO again..you see my van in the dirve yet dont even knock on my door....whew...yup..thats bout it:-)
Melis, did someone say spanking???..LMAO
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