dust in the wind

At 8:15 am CST I will get my dreaded call from the judge about my former place of employment. I have on my steel toed flip flops so I can readily head over there and jab them in the personal area should their lies get out of hand.



If there is a hell, and I am sure there is, I hope the man in the red suit has a nice thorn bush to stick them on when they get there.



Oh and bees, lots of bees stinging them on their boobies.



That would do me a world of good knowing that will happen.



~

My son has all of a sudden become fascinated with wanting to do the laundry. He runs to the laundry room a few times a day just to get rid of the lint in the lint trap.



He keeps hounding me and hounding to learn how to run the equipment. Now I am lazy, yes yes we know this, but I am just unsure of a ten year olds mental capacticty to work and maintain the machines and not to totally reek havoc on my undergarments and such.



He asked me if this was a job he would have to do daily, as he is lazy like me, and would like a job u did once per lifetime, I indeed told him if he wanted clean and skid mark free drawers to wear daily, I reckon it needs to be done all the days of his life.



I will teach him the fine art of sorting.



I sort my laundry kinda funny. I have a seperate load for pinks and reds. I wont wash a red and a pink together, I just wont do it.



Being this is a house with three females and one of them females has a quaint fascination with the color pink, I have lots of pink shit.



Plus I wash the greys and greens separately and also the blues are washed alone as well.



Towels are washed in HOT boiling water, as are the tidy whiteys.



I dry almost everything in the drying machine, although I do hang some stuff to dry as I have a clothes line right in my laundry room. Things I hang there would be, but not limited too



Bras

dainty undies with lace

certain sweatshirts

my teddy

my funeral/church clothes

my thongs



Then I have to teach him the fine art of filling the Downy Ball, as I do not fill it to state and government guidelines because well, they don't know anything about how I like the nice residue on my shit after its been washed.



See, I cant take the chance of him shrinking my stuff. I can not be seen in public with a stretched out brazier or a thong the size of a barbie ass...



~



While I was picking Boo up from her pre-school today, a mom was in there waiting too. I never seen her before, as I guess her kid normally rides the bus...she had in tow a lil guy, no older then 3 or 4.



I looked over at him and noticed his face badly bruised and there were tons of marks on his face and a big ole bandage over his nose and he had two black eyes.



he literally looked like maybe I had accidentally ran him down in the parking lot.



So me being a nosey little mother f-er I asked her what happened to him.



She said he fell out of a second story window Friday afternoon.



HolymotherofGod.



and all that happen was his nose was broken.



He looked as though he was run down by a bull or something.



Poor little guy, I never seen anything like it...



~

The other night we had some very torrential downpours whilst I was fast asleep in my wee widdle beddy bye.



Unbeknowgst to me, I had left my van windows rolled down, cause I am one of them chicks who digs the breeze blowin in my hair.



Well, I wake up in the early AM hours to see it still raining. I take a gander at my car and see the windows down.



sonofabitch.



I quickly go out and roll them up. The whole inside of my car is flooded and the electrical shit isn't wanting to work the best...go figure.



I get my windows rolled up, and later on after it stops raining I go out to survey the damage.



I take out some towels to soak up what water I can.



Then the smell...The smell is rancid.



Smells like musty rotted car.



For those of you who don't own cars or have never smelled car rot...it smells sorta like rotten milk with a splash of mildew.



I then left my windows down to let nature blow the smell into my neighbors yard. Because I am neighborly that way.



If God didn't strike me down twice, as it rained again.



He is laughing, a good one at that.



So now I am soaking up the rain with towels again, spraying the inside with Febreeze every 4.5 minutes...



Lesson learned.



get a haircut, then my hair cant blow in the in wind.