Suicide Blonde

Well, the play at church went well. The first half of the theatrical production Shaky was not in it. Boo kept saying " where is daddy momma?" I kept telling her he was coming. Before to long, they draw the curtain, the lights go dim , they open the curtain and there he stand, hanging on the cross, head down, thorns on his head and all sorts of dried blood on his torso, hands and face.

Boo says loudly " momma, why isn't daddy talking?"

After the production our pastor whom I refer to as "pastor Ihatefatpeople"

(and trust me, that is a story all in itself) says to me , about an elderly woman whom was commenting on the play..asked him if Jesus was played by a real person or if it was a rubber Jesus.

Pastor Ihatefatpeople told her it was Mr Shaky, this woman "helps" Mr shaky in the Sunday School class, so she knows full well of who he is..

She still kept insisting it was a rubber Jesus.

I told Shaky it either means u were a good Jesus, or she was hoping to take home a blow up doll...not sure which.

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I am having issues with Pat, my trusty ole Ipod. Now the bitch/bastard wont let me skip songs. So when I am out running, and a song that doesn't get me pumped comes on, I still have to listen to it. I will be damned if I call the smart asshats at Applesucksasses and tell them about it. I don't need them sending me a box to put him/her in. They took Sheila away, and sent me Pat. They assured me it was brand new Ipod, but I am thinking they lied. How can it be broke already? Apple, u still suck asses..Keep up the good work assholes.

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An old Friend of mine sent me this pic. It was taken in the summer of 85 or 86.

I am the cutie in the middle and that is my childhood home in the back, the house I now own now and am trying to sell it/find a good arsonist.

It looks as though I am just staring to sprout my boobies. Like I have boobie buds. We have a big ass pool in our yard, so this was my entire wardrobe every summer till I got a period. Then on those days I sported long t-shirts over top the swimsuit.

The girl with the candy stripper outfit on was my best friend back then. She lived next door, and the other girl is her sister, whom was best buds with my sister.

How embarrassing is that?

I have white legs, a bad perm, new boobies and one ugly ass swim suit.

If only I looked that good in a swimsuit now a days.

sonofabitch.

Bee prepared