Monday, April 09, 2007

Pastor hates fat people

Before I elaborate on how my pastor is an asshat, I will torture u with some Easter pics. Because that's what I do..I torture, THEN educate.

There is Blondie, they were out looking for eggs. That's the kind of mom I am, I drag them out at 7am when its 25 degrees to look for plastic eggs filled with money and candy..





















Down here is The Boy, he is pretending he gives a shit about the Easter bunny dropping eggs in the yard.



















Down here is Boo, she is very good at looking for eggs. In fact, she is requesting a do-over every morning.




















Down here we have them all gussied up for church...



















The Boy sorta looks like he has spotted the sign of the devil on my brow or something..damn...




Here is me and the snot noses..
























There, you can wipe the vomit from your screen now.
~
OK, on to how Pastor asshat hats fat people. Ya see, two summers ago, we were all at a church picnic on one of the lakes around here. A lake that is set on a church members private property. Pastor Asshat was pulling kids on a toboggan on the back of his motor boat. He was wanting another volunteer to travel in the boat with him..A woman, whom was at the party, offered to go along for the ride around. He then looked at her and said
well, I am not sure if I have a life-jacket that will fit, and u might need to sit on the back of the boat, I don't think the boat can handle that much more weight up front here.
I was dumbfounded. I felt so bad for this mother he said it too. He thought he was a really freaking comedian. I thought he was a dick head.
The Easter service he gave yesterday was awful. This man is so arrogant, I don't think he puts any thought into his sermons just figuring people are gonna like him regardless.
But me, I would rather have a case of genital herpes then listen to him. I would rather milk a rat then listen to him. I would rather change adult diapers in 90 degree heat, then listen to him..
u get the idea..
I could give u a long list of reasons why I am not a fan of him, but I think that should cover any questions u may or may not have.
~
Well we had an enjoyable Easter. I ate too much. I had two pieces of pie. And I don't even like pie.
I am thinking about buying a piano.
Bee Jolly

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

ohh im first for once!!

Did someone waive a cross in his face and go

"be gone evil spirit, leave this place before you get your arse whopped you freak of nature!"

Yeah im like that, church or no church function, to say that is just not on. Ahole!

Happy easter!

Anonymous said...

Good thing I wasn't the woman offering to go out on the boat. You would have been listening to a different dude for Easter Sunday since he would have been on the bottom of the lake.

Loved the pictures! I want to hunt for eggs filled with candy and money with Boo today and every day. I know you can afford it! I also want pie. We had leftover birthday cake.

eyes_only4him said...

Hails,
well I was gonna open a can of whip ass on him, but there were kids around..

told ya he was an asshat alright.

Tam,
well I wanted to put his ass at the bottom of the lake too..But refrained as I did not want to scare the children;)

I felt so bad for the woman..I am not even sure who it was now, I dont think she goes to our church anymore, not sure why..haha

U can come hunt for egss, like i told Boo, they wont be filled again till the same time next yar;)

but u can sure as hell go looking for them anyway..hehe

Neurotic1 said...

I would've knocked that pastor into next year! I don't care who he knows (or pretends to know)! The bees are too cute!

Angela said...

I have to agree with you about your preacher. He needs a dose of the "good book" up side his head I think:-). Glad ya'lls Easter was good. Love the kiddos and your pics. Tooo cute I tell ya. I wish my Easter went better.
Have a good day!!.

Kendra Lynn said...

Wow...I don't know if I've ever heard a pastor be so cruel.
Sorry you have had such a bad experience.
I think you need to meet my dad, the pastor, he's way cooler than that.

Glad you had a nice Easter other than having to listen to a boring sermon.

Kendra

MommaMonkey said...

You're thinking about buying a piano?....that's a bit of a random thought there. What for?

Your Bees look lovely, and so do you. Even with the devilish look on his face you can tell The Boy loves his Momma.

I'm sure you're not the only one in church that thinks the pastor is an asshat. Sounds like God needs to put his ass in check. He may just be calling on you to do it.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

That was SO not funny of the pastor...that was just friggin' MEAN. I would've been pissed off if he'd of said it to me!!!''

eyes_only4him said...

Patty_cake,
trust me, over the few years I have known him, it has taken every bit or will power I have not to say something to him..he says stupid things alot. but out of respect for the hubby, I dont..He hates it when his bitch of a wife causes a scene:)

Kaliblue,
oh no, what was wrong with your Easter? Was it bad? I ebtter go check your blog to see...damn

Kendra,
yes, he says things alot of the time that make me wanna slap him..I have come close to beating the tar out of him.


Puddle jumper,
I use to play piano, I just want one..hehe

well I do know of whole family including sisters cousin and exteneded family whom do not attend anymore cause of something asshatish he did to them..not sure why anyone goes really

eyes_only4him said...

Peanut Queen,
I know, I felt so bad for this woman..I am thinking she must not go to our church anymore, cuz I never see her anymore..

I told ya, he is an asshat, plain and simple..

pack of 2 said...

WOw, he sounds like a jerk!

Have fun with the piano

I miss d
:(

Shelly

eyes_only4him said...

Shelly,
holy shit, I miss her too..

The Ethical Slut said...

Why are you going to buy a piano? Do you PLAY piano?

eyes_only4him said...

TCW,
yup..I want to buy one so I can take it up again...

I use to be pretty damn good too.

Jamie Dawn said...

That preacher sounds like he may have a pride problem. I think the Lord wants YOU to bring him down a notch.

Cute photos!

Jamie Dawn said...

EVERYbody like pie.

Jamie Dawn said...

I mean,

EVERYbody likes pie!

eyes_only4him said...

Jamie,
I would love to bring him down a notch, trust me...

well, I like pie filling, but i hate crust, is that better?

Wendy said...

Asshat fits him well, maybe too nice. Lightning would have probably struck me down if I were there after what I would have said to him.
I used to play the piano too. Sold mine about 4years ago and now I wish I hadn't.

eyes_only4him said...

Wendy,
asshat may be too good of term for him really.