livin on a prayer

Ok, Mr. Shaky Pants is letting me have a birthday weekend do-over since I had to work all last weekend. But this got me thinking about something. Wouldn't it be nice if we had more than one day per year where it was just our day? One day does not hardly seem sufficient in my book.

Sure there are holidays like Mother Day..You know what I say bout that?..Big freakin deal. That is a day we have to share with our own mothers, or MIL's, or whoever else has spewed forth from their loins. That day does not count. Granted, we should still be waited on, as we are the ones who did the spewing forth.

I think we should pick a day, any day you want...And make it "your day". Maybe pick like your half birthday or something, so your days are spread out far enough, and then with all the other "legal" holidays thrown in the mix, it will make for a joyful year.

It is nice having one day where its just your day. You can do whatever you want, and have your family and friends be at your beck and call.

Here is my ideal day. Bear with me..

I will wake around 8ish, shower..But when I get out of the shower I wont be cold. I will have a heated towel waiting for me and my clothes will be brought to me fresh from the dryer. My hair will comb easily this day. I wont have to fight with my brush and I wont lose any hair. My hair will dry in like 5 minutes tops..And will go the way I want it to.

For breakfast I will have fresh fruit, flown in from somewhere exotic.

I will watch TV..No Dora..

I will take naps upon my leisure, then I will have some lunch. I will require a freshly made club sandwich on wheat bread. It will have no fat Mayo and turkey. No tomatoes either. I would also like a fresh hot steamy bowl of Broccoli and cheese soup from Ruby Tuesday...But at home.

I will not make dinner, I will have a chef come in and cater. I will have Lobster Tail, fresh shrimp..(with the poop and veins removed of course) I will have some garlic mashed potatos from Applebees, and steamed fresh veggies..Not boiled, but steamed..I want my veggies to be crisp yet tender, they will not be soggy or droopy.

For my dessert I will have the finest cheesecake's imported. They will contain no calories or fat.

For leisure activities I would like to take a tennis lesson. I want to have a caddy all day, but I do not want to golf. I just want someone to pick up after me all day, and say "good job" .

I will not change a sh*tty diaper all day, and someone will come in and potty train my 2 year old.

I will spend the day at the park, alone..

I will not be rushed, I will not be yelled at or called upon for anything.

This to me sounds like a good day. I will start winding down my day around 9ish, I will have a hot bath drawn for myself, with lots of bubbles. My IPOD will be fully charged and I will sing at the top of my lungs and nobody will pound on the door and tell me to stop. In fact, they will say " wow, can you sing one more?'

My towel yet again will be warm and waiting for me all folded. My pajamas will be waiting. They will be snuggly and toasty. I will have my caddy apply my lotion ( he will be young and good looking..) he will beg for my hand in marriage, but I will have to turn him down, as I am already spoken for. He will beg and plead. I will wipe the tears from his eye, and tell him that if Mr Shaky Pants were to die, I would come looking for him. After the approiate time to grieve has passed...thats what like 2 weeks tops right?

He will lul me to sleep with a lullabye. He will wipe the drool from my pillow.

So this is how I would spend my day...

**
Now I need to go get my lawn mowing clothes on, Bossy is going to trim the hedges tonight. All that rain last week makes my grass look like I am growing some "weed" in the back..it really shot right up.

As you may remeber from last summer I am the lawn mowing queen. It is my passion in the summer. I will get sucked by bugs, twigs in my eyes, run over small mammals, and hit some rocks..Good Times...I live for this crap.

Well I think I have a ripe smelling baby as we speak, and my caddy aint here to deal with it.

Have a good weekend. I will enjoy my birthday weekend reprive. I will be consuming mass quanties of drink and food. With Norm. Norm likes his food and spirits.

Bee Real
<3

I already feel bloated. Not a good sign.