Fat BOTTOM girls...

dont 4get to scroll down to last post to see my Lepp pics and my ass on stage with Everclear...dont know em?..yeah, me either..

The Boy whom is 11, and heading to 6th grade is troubled. This lad is just disgusted.

He wants those ads on tv for male enhancement removed ASAP..its like a Code Blue for him.

In this one ad, the woman says..

enjoy more

feel more

see more

My son wants to know what u need to see.

He told me that if this commercail is about what he thinks it is, he is just disgusted.

And really he is right..

There are so many commercials out there about the penis.

What is so great about the penis?

consult your doc if your wanker is erect for more then 4 hours, and be sure to ask if its ok if u go on a big screwing spree cause if your ticker cant take, might wanna get some lotion out..

if your wife thinks your weenie is a tad too teenie, take our pill to plump your member. I mean your wife married you when she clearly knew you didn't know what to do with your Johnson, so lets make it rounder, and plumper so u can really give it to her....

I am so sick of these ads...

Put them on the Playboy channel where the pervs and skanks hang out...they need it..

My tots don't need to hear it..

thankyouverymuch.

~

Wanna know how bored I was today?

So bored I watched a whole movie on HBOLT...if you do not know what that is, is HBO Latino.

It plays movies that are on regular HBO, BUT..its all in Spanish.

I don't know a damn lick of Spanish...So I think I am going to start watching a movie a day on it..its going to be my own personal language coach..

By years end I will be fluently speaking with the best of the Latinos out there..

Its gonna be a sweet day for me.

~

Ok, I will tell you more about my trip to see my fella's and post some more pics...

I get to the fair around 2. But I have to arrive thru gate 13..

We are dropped off at gate 9. I took a city bus because all the parking lots were full, and thats just where they dropped us off.

I kindly ask where the hell gate 13 is...I need gate 13...

HELLO, GATE 13, ITS ME, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?

I kid you not, it was at least a 2 mile walk to gate 13. I get to gate 13 and tell them I need my fair ticket, because since I am VIP I get a free fair ticket.

I walk 2 damn miles, in my flip flops, in the heat..to find out all they were doing was radioing the Administrators building to see if my name was on the list..then bam, im in.

I coulda done this at any damn gate...why did they tell us gate 13?

Because they are all douche bags...thats why

The VIP party was, well, technically backstage, because it was in the back of the grandstands right in front of the tour buses..

In dirt and grass..it was crowded and smelly..

hell yeah bitches..

After the party my pals Jules and Karrie and I walked over to the Margarita tent, I mean holy shit...u cant go to a concert and not consume mass quantities of spirits..

I had tons of stupid folk come up and ask if my tattoo was real.

Never in my life have I been asked that.

I felt like sayin..

no, Jules and I hung out at the face painting tent and she spent hours painting this on my back, because well, she is semi retarded and wanted to color...

We were kinda getting annoyed...

Then after the show I had people come up to me telling me the saw my tattoo on the big screen when the song Hystria was played. I had no idea they did that. The HOT security guy told me he tried getting the camera man to do, but he couldnt get his attention, but somehow, one of them did, cause boy, I heard about it..

Jules is the kinda gal that makes her own party, kinda like me...

Her and I were just like two peas in one rockin pod.

Everyone wanted to stand by us, because well, we are fucking awesome that way..

During the show I was making eye contact with the very cute drummer. He would just stare and grin at me...At one point I said "u rock rick"...and he winked at me.

While I was on stage dancing with the opening act, Rick was back there by his drum kit..I waved at him, and he told me "nice tattoo"

If he would of asked me if it was real, I was going to go bust his knee caps.

After the show he came out and walked down the catwalk, he winked at me as he went by, then when he was shaking hands he grabbed mine extra hard and squeezed it and winked at me..

See here he is making his way 2 me..

He is damn adorable...his curly locks, his great smile, his baby face..

Oh, he is a dream...

Where Jules and I were sitting, we had some views of their back sides. When they went to the front of the cat walk, we just saw the butts.

Butts aren't bad..

Here are some..

See, I got lots of ass that night....which is not a bad thing..

This is me standing right by the stage, which is where our seats were...Thanks to Jules..

Gawd I want to marry her.

That is the lead singer of Everclear there in the back...

Lets see..what else can I show you?

I love him....we were suppose to marry, but then The Hubs well, brainwashed me...

and well, I'm still here...

sonofabitch...

I could sit and talk about this night for weeks, as you all know, because after every Lepp show I spend days posting pics and talking about it in very intricate detail..

I know some of u could give two shits less, and well...

Poo on u..

For 21 years this band has been at my side.

I cant say that about any of you, now can I?

Damn people..

anyway, it was a great time, even the hubs liked walking around the fair and my late night calls telling him I was onstage dancing with the band..or to tell him I had sweat on my hands from being touched by them, or how I felt up their legs..

This was one of the best times I have had at a Lepp show..

Its not even the seats, because I normally sit in the first 3 rows at least..so thats not it..

I think it was the company I had..

I go to this show to meet some gals I met on the Lepp forum...Not knowing anything about them other then we all love the band.

(hubs was worried he would have to call Nancy Grace to find my dis-membered remains)

I was unsure if we would get along, because frankly, I hate people and rarely like anyone.

But these girls kicked ass..

Jules, Kerrie and I are going to shows together next year..

Jules and I have to keep Kerrie focused, she likes to hold up walls and smother the security guys with love..

They are awesome and I cant wait to do another show with them..

Jules and I bonded over stories I had...and we will leave it at that;)

~

Thought I would update you on the woman I can not call granny....

She isn't dead yet.

There is your update.

Im back

Ok, Im back from my big Hoo-Raaay at the ever lovin Iowa State Fair.




As far as fairs goes, this was well..a fucking fair..




It was hot. There were tons of people touching me...It was dirty and it smelled.











The show was great.







The seats I ended up having..(which I did not sit in them, as we stood at the stage whole show) were wonderful.








I even was pulled up on stage to dance with Everclear..the opening act.







never heard of them?..










Yeah me either..



We danced to Brown-eyed Girl..




































Thats me, there, on the damn stage..SEE?







Here I am. I am the first one up there...





This is Jules and I by Rick Allens drum kit..






























Here is the whole gang that ended up on stage...


























See me there making my devil horns?





I am not just going to post some random pics...





I dont have time to discuss, or to explain...













Im trying to plan my next show..


Detroit maybe? on saturday?






Maybe bitches..

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im tired of posting pics..

Maybe another day...

here is a link with more pics...cause im lazy that way..

http://www.rockyou.com/show_my_gallery.php?source=ppsl&instanceid=120525552

Lets Get Rocked...

Somethings have come up over the last couple days that I feel I need to vent and spew all over my website, cause really, thats why I have one..

So people out there can read it and say to themselves...

self, I'm not going to do myself in today because this whack job needs my help, I would rather see her go first..

I'm here for the people.

Anyway, I am still leaving Saturday morning around 6 am for Iowa...Because frankly, this is the only thing getting me thru right now.

This post may get a tad bit lengthy, its gonna have a lot of girth, it may also contain bits of stagnant and pungent odors.

My first complaint is for the neighbors to stop yelling "Koda" all day and all night thru out the hood.

Put your damn dog on a leash before I get the pepper spray out...

You would not have to call your dog at all hours if u killed it.

I'm just sayin..

~
My trip to Mt Rushmore may be put to a stop.

No NO, not because I have broke any laws....

yet...

It seems The Boy has band camp starting next week.

Hello douche bags, its STILL summer vacation...damnit..

And The Boy is going to play the Trombone...he needs all the band camping he can get I guess.

Yes I said band camp, get your giggles out for Christ sake so we can get along with this..

Ya done?..

good..

Ok, my mother calls me crying last night..I don't do well with people and tears and emotions and stuff.

My brain is more hard wired to be that of a stealth robot. We have no emotions, but we get shit done..

I guess her sister called her to inform her that their "mother" is not doing well and that if she wanted to see her before the big one hit, she might wanna head on a jet plane.

Let me give you a little back story on my ole...granny...

DO u know I cant even say that out loud? I have never called her that or ever said that out loud..EVER.

In my life I have only had one set of grandparents...And one died last summer and the one is doing well driving me crazy telling me about how it makes her nervous to drive in cars with her 80 year old friends because well, they don't drive so well anymore..cause they are 80!

Mind you she is going to be 81....but she would rather take a bus then drive with other old ladies..

Anyway...this woman who is technically my grandmother is some piece of work.

In my 33 years of life I have seen her not more then a handful of times.

No Xmas gifts, no birthday calls, she wouldn't come to my wedding, no calls when I had babies of my own...no nothing. And you all know how I like to get shit...

When I was a couple days old, my mom had to go back in the hospital for a week because she came down with an infection of some sort..

And my dad not being the hands on baby man, I was left with my real grandparents.

One day while I was napping nicely at grandma and grandpa's...that woman came to the door and asked them if she could take me for a while.

Being I was brand new and still had that new car smell, who wouldn't want to see a new baby?

So my grandma being the nice lady she is, and not thinking anything bad would happen, let that woman take me for the day.

Now this could be where some of my issues stem from. I cant say for sure as I don't recall any of it..

But this is what happen to me.

This woman took me from my nice grandmothers arms and into a cardboard box..

Yup..I said a box.

Little ole me was laying in a box on the floor of the back seat of this woman's car..

Wanna know where she took me?

I know your just dying to know.

She took me bar hopping along the lake shore...

In.A.Box.

I am not sure how I was found or what happen after that, but this woman and my aunt took me bar hopping.

Not only were they driving with a week old lassie in the back..I was in a fucking box.

And they were drunk.

Now thats my kinda granny...

Last month my mothers sister was diagnosed with cancer. She was told it was spread thru her whole entire body.

The woman called my mom to tell her that the sister was getting what she deserved and she hoped her death was painful and agonizing.

This is the kind of monster we are dealing with.

The woman will then call my aunt telling her how much she loves her and blah blah...

Fucking psycho she is..

My mom said she does not want to go see her.

Her childhood was filled with beatings..

Both her parents were nurses...My grandfather..(puke puke) was once the Director of Nurses at the homeland hospital...So they were well educated peeps.

The woman was a psych nurse for 20 years....which to this day blows my ever loving mind..

Once when my mother got cut on a piece of glass, her dad sewed her cut up..

with fishing line..and no numbing shot.

I can sort of see why she does not want to go.

But I do.

I want to go see her...and just smother her with a card board box.

I want to spit on her grave and then let my dog take a healthy one on it.

Some of you wont understand this, some of you will...

I just feel the need to let it all out..to tell her what a horrible person she is, and that she is getting what SHE deserves.

I want to claw her eyes out, I want to put a kink in her catheter.

This woman has brought nothing but misery to anyone or anything she has touched.

Not many people can make that claim, but she can.

I realize this is not what a normal Christian gal would say.

But I'm not normal. Some might argue im not Christian, to that I say

fuck you...

I think my mother should go, mainly for her sisters..

They live in New Mexico and since they live there, they will have to deal with everything...and I think she should go to be there for them.

They all went thru this horrid childhood together, so I think they should all bury it together.

So we may be driving there..

With my tots...

a 21 hour drive.

So I can spit on a grave and have damn good meal after the funeral.

One good thing about funerals is the food afterwards..

That would almost be worth the drive.

This bitch likes to eat.

Bad....

Its getting closer to my trip to Iowa where I will parade around in a slutty shirt of some sort, cause well, that's what I do..

I'm looking forward to this a great deal. I don't look forward to many things in life...

You all can vouch for that.

Its been a while since I have been a VIP at a Lepp show..

ok, since last Sept, but it seems like a damn lifetime ago...

I can barely contain myself...

Thats a pick of the boys I took two years ago in Fargo...I just love that one..

Anyway, the day I get back from my 6 hour jaunt to visit the boys, I'm leaving for camping.

Now my plans have changed...

Pale Girl has backed outta the deal....so I'm going without her.

But I have changed the course of the trip. We are not going up north, or going to the campground in SD I was thinking about..

We are still going to South Dakota..

But we are going here instead.

http://mountrushmore.areaparks.com/

My bad ass, is going to travel along the bad lands, the black hills and hell I am even going to go sit Crazy Horse's a lap..

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We have not decided if we are going to use our tent or the tee-pee the grounds provide. I'm all cultured and shit, but not sure if I'm cultured enough to enjoy three nights in a tee pee...

I am not sure if me staying in a tee pee would be some sort of disgrace to the Native Americans...I'm sure it would be..

It has to be..

I don't want to get the Cherokee's head dresses in a knot..so I guess I should rough it in a tent..

I'm sorry we stole your land...please just let me sleep in peace...take the tots..they love doing those rain dances and shit..and the little one loves feathers.

And they Love Pocahontas..

Its a nearly nine hour drive...and Lord knows I have done enough driving this summer...

In the last month alone I have driven to or thru 6 states, so why not make it 7?

This bitch likes to travel as much as the next wandering salesman, but hell, I am not looking forward to another case of restless ass syndrome.

Its all for the love of the tots..

So I wont be around much...I'm taking the rest of this week to prepare for my concert and to get camping gear into place...

I will try to post some concert pics Sunday when I get back...but I wont have a whole lotta time..

Then I'm leaving Monday morning around 5 am to head to the black hills..

I will be back Thursday evening sometime..

If the bears don't get me..

Enjoy the week and the weekend...

I fight authority, authroity always wins

Normally I steer clear of trouble. Normally I try to avoid situations where I may or may not be thrown in the county hotel.

Over the last three weeks, I have had the PO-LiCE called on me twice.

Time number one was at Pale Girls apartment when we were sitting around her table..Things mighta got outta hand when one of the four us put our empties filled with pistachio shells on a neighbors doorstep..

Shortly after that delivery there was was a knock on the door...There were four of us sittin at the table, drinking, having a good time...

Who woulda thought that 4 ladies could cause such a ruckus with people. I guess we were loud...or the haters were made they were not invited..

I think the folks just didn't like Mike at the doorstep...

Mikes Hard Lemonade that is....

This past Thursday Pale girl was over and so was our pal special...

After a couple MIkes we decided to do a little B and E...

I would say that hubs was an accomplice since he stayed here and was our look out...

but I wont...

Anyway, we did some breaking and entering...

we were on a mission..We had a purpose for this mission.

We cant find what we are looking for, but we see items that will do..

We run off with our goods..cause thats what u do when your stealing, you run off.

With your goods.

Your also suppose to wear all black and sport pantyhose on your face...

But us being the experienced breakers and enterers that we are, we go in broad daylight with our own faces..

Thats how hard core we be.

Next day while I was at Pale Girls house. We were basking in the glow of our recent crime spree thinking how easy that was, cause we never even got caught.

Then she gets a call from Officer Nelson asking about said B and E.

Turns out, we did get caught..

I guess if you don't get busted by the cops during a breaking and entering, its almost like it didn't happen..

For the next week I am going to stay on the other side of the law. My concert is in a few days and I must be a law biding citizen if I wanna cross state lines...

Next Tuesday(19th) we head out on our camping trip...I don't think we are going up north, I think we are going to go to South Dakota...

Us girls, the open highway, 5 tots, a cooler full of Mikes and our stolen camping goods.

Just like Thelma and Louise..

Minus Brad Pitt...and cliff jumping...



Who's in?

Hold the Line

I am so glad this pittyful week is nearly over with...Not that it has been a bad week per say, just that once this week is done, I only have one more till I leave for the open highway and head to Iowa so I can party with some real men.

Im just sayin.



When I get back from my concert, I am taking my tots camping. Yes, yes, I said camping..We are going to rough it for about 4 days...









In tents.



Hell yeah...I kid you not. This fancy lassy is going camping..





We are going here.









http://www.northshorevisitor.com/activities/index.html



Thats right, it says whale watching bitches...









Top That!









I have lived on the Great Lakes my whole entire life..Been to all of them, but this one..



I had no idea there were whales in a fresh water lake...I mean seroiusly? Do they think im a dumbass?









But its on the internet, so it MUST be true..


Hell yeah.









we have not picked out our campground yet....but I will by the weekend.


Guess who is going with me? HUbs?...Nope.




Its gonna be Pale Girl, with her two tots...and me and my three tots..









Two gals, a gaggle of tots, and the great outdoors..


I am pretty confident I can take care of any bears we may encounter...I have had ample expirence dealing with creatures..



I do have a small lap dog and two cats for Gods sake.









I have a great deal of expertese in tent set up..The Boy and I went to a number of mother and son camping trips for boy scouts.



Ok, just one...



but still..







Stay tuned, because the shit that will happen on this trip is sure fire going to be pure gold blogging matarieal.


Between two chicks roughing it, the whales and the bears...


yeah, im just sayin..




~




Walmart alert...Pale Girl and I might be going soon, I need to buy a another tent, and well, this city has supplied me with no other means of buying a tent..



For Gods sake they could at least have a Dicks Sporting Goods..because everyone in this city is so well...


cultured and all..



PUKE>




~



Last fall I bought the tots each a pumpkin that I cleaned and carved...I'm a carver.


Don't 4get it either bitches..



Anyway, I tossed out three of the pumpkins after Halloween, but Boo didn't want hers tossed yet.



So I let it set on the porch. A couple days after Halloween the mother fucker was froze to the porch, I couldn't remove it.


I 4got all about it...it has been snowed on, lived thru 50 below zero tempts..









In the spring when everything melted, I saw the remains of the pumpkin.


I cleaned up what I could..which wasn't much.



Now look...this is what I have now..










































Thats some pretty amusing shit right there...The bitch is growing right up my porch.











Speaking of growing things..Take a look at these cucumbers I picked outta the garden yesterday.
































This is them posed with a soda can, so you can get the shear bigness AND, um, girth of my pickles...







































See, thats a freakin prize winnin crop right there.....



Don't be haters, you just have not got the green thumbs I do..and its ok..







This is Boo when I tell her we are going whale watching..



when she was a baby she thought whales lived in our lake..



she also called it an ocean..



This is why I am making her do one more run of pre school instead of sending her to Kindergarten..




































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And there is hubs telling her there are no whales in the great lakes.



Apparently he did not read the shit on the Internet...




bastards.

scenes from an Italian Restraunt

The other day while it was so steaming hot outside, I sat outside and wondered what it would be like to visit the sun. I mean I know its like a flaming fire ball, and I'm not saying I want to visit the sun, but I do know some folks I wouldn't mind sending there.

I'm just sayin..

I am trying to prepare my tots for the impending doom of school starting. Sure they have until next month before they go, but its still something you need to start preparing for weeks in advance.

I have to prepare myself as well. I have been enjoying the steadfast routine of doing nothing.

No lunches to pack, no clothes to get out, no homework to look over...

I rather enjoy these moments.

I am a self proclaimed lazy bitch....anything that requires any sort of effort I frown upon. And I openly admit this to anyone..

Sure during the summer I still have to make breakfast, lunch and supper..however, I can do it on my time...

And my time, is just the right time.

I am in the process of starting the school shopping. God I hate school shopping.

Long trips to the mall, fitting rooms, complaining...this shit bugs me.

My tots have expensive taste in clothing and shoe apparel. Which is ok with me, because I don't want them going to school looking like dirty hippies.

I volunteer at the tots schools when I can, and you would be surprised the number of kids in school that have not put a brush through the hair or have on dirty, stained clothes.

This makes me sick inside.

It does not take that much time to brush your tots hair or to do a load of laundry..

I'm just sayin..

Anyway, what I was saying is, I am sad the impending end of summer is upon us, but I'm very excited about them leaving all day long.

Get your backpack and get the hell to the damn bus stop..

~

Hubs has been gone for a day..he went to Cleveland..

On business..

Or what I call..a paid vacation.

That upsets him when I say that..But really it is.

You get a nice quiet plane ride, a nice quiet 5 star hotel room, a nice quiet shower..

thats a damn vacation people.

When he returns tonight he wants to bake.

Sometimes I wonder if my missing ovary is embedded in his nutsack.

I have many theories on how it got there too..

But thats for next time.

~

I'm covering a lot of ground today, not sure I will be back this week....so keep paying attention..

The Boy has a girl who fancies him....she sent over a love note 4 him yesterday.

I went and busted her knee caps.

I have to keep reminding myself he will be in middle school this year.

He is thisclose to moving out...I mean soon he will be a teen...then soon after he will be gone...

Not that I want him gone, but I'm looking 4ward to the day when they all leave.

He wants to live in an apartment in Manhattan.

So in order to get him adjusted to the size of pad he can get for say 2 million dollars, I have been keeping him locked in the laundry room so he can get use to living in tight quarters....And to me, thats given him extra space..

trust me on this.

I'm just sayin..

~

Also, I wonder why if my remarks offend some, why they keep coming back..

Hello out there...

get a clue..

Maybe they are unaware I know they are coming. Maybe they think they can just sneak over and i wont know.

But I do know.

I know your IP address, I know other blogs you go to from here, I know how long you stay here, I know everything.

Im just sayin..

~

My good Blogger pal Jamie Dawn is sending me some cross necklaces she made. I bought one for each of my girls and one for me.

I will show you when I get them..

~

Oh, and a heads up for those who keep track..I might go to walmart and buy some pencils and a gallon of milk....

Then again, maybe I wont..

Just like to keep ya'll guessin...


Oh and in case your wondering, the wind is blowing so my dish is acting like she needs a good anal cleansing.

Now I think im going to go stab something or find a small animal to go kick.

Picture this

Sometimes shit just bugs me. Sure having a big fat juicy bug land on my windshield after I have paid 20 bucks for a car wash tends to get my knickers in a knot..but who wouldn't get steamed over that?

I have this Dishnetwork..Because well, the cable here sucks.

But I do have cable as well...I pay for cable I rarely use because my phone and Internet are cheaper this way..

I just live that kinda frivolous lifestyle where I like to pay thru my ass for things I don't use.

Anyway, the main reason I like Dishnetwork is because I love the channel VH-1 Classic, because its almost like I am back in my teen years skipping school to watch videos, only I'm not skipping school..

Lately my Dish has been giving me a throbbing case of roids.

It will tell me its searching for a signal when there is not a cloud in the southern sky.

This is starting to perturb me.

If there is a strong breeze blowing thru your hair, chances are my dish is taking a crap.

I'm damn near homicidal.

~

I'm writing this on Saturday because well, I have a life and wont be around much for the next couple of days...

Some people should get a life. Try it sometime..

~

I took my girl tots to the county fair Friday night. Want to hear something that has been troubling me since I was there?

There was a man there running a ride that was in jail for molesting a three year old girl. Wanna know how I know this?

Because I'm the one who booked his ass in the county jail.

That kinda shit just floors me.

And I see people who let their young tots run free at the fair..and it makes me sick.

Its a big enough place that anything could happen...

When the parents are off at the hill-billy demo derby and let the tots wander around the baby rapping carnies, it makes me wanna kick puppies. As well as put a bullet in their parents knee caps.

I took my camera to take pics of my cute tots runnin a muck at the county fair, but I never pulled the bastard out once..

It was just THAT much fun..

I was too busy making sure snot nose kids that don't belong to me stayed clear of this wanker runnin a ride..And I would not allow my girls on it, even though I was standing right with them. At.All.Times.

The Boy did not want to go.

I take that back, he did not want to go with us.

He is going with a buddy and his parents tonight.

Its OK to be seen with his parental units, just not his own..

He came in, asked for cash said he wouldn't buy too much crappy food, would try not to puke from the rides and he wouldn't hold hands or kiss any girls.

He is damn near responsible enough to move out.

~

I went out with Pale Girl and my pal we will call Special...

I know I'm wearing the same shirt as last weekend...It was so hot out, I just wore the same tank top again..I have that tank top in 3 damn colors...

Yet I chose to wear the black one again..

And I know, my hair probably looks the same as last week..I mean its short, its not like I can do much to change it ...

but trust me, its a different day...

So this was us Friday..

Don't ask any questions about what you see here...because frankly, I got no idea.

~

Two weeks from today is my concert.

I'm taking this time to prepare.

Anyone who knows anything, knows u got to prepare 4 this shit.

Good day.

Fire and Ice

I keep forgetting to mention the fact that I have not seen my spider friend since before I left for my vacation in June...

I'm thinking of this now, because I'm sitting in my bed, looking at the wall where the bastard has been spotted more then once.

My fear is while I was gone for that month, that he got a tad bigger..Like possibly to the size of Asia. Which is pretty big....I think the bastard may be under my bed. I refuse to look. I worry that if he decided to venture out and climb up the wall, the shear girth of him will make him plummet to my bed which in turn will cause my untimely death.

And frankly its buggin the shite outta me.

Last night I could not sleep as I am a retard and suffer from the insomnia thanks to the cancer..Yes that was 8 years ago, but u try functioning without the gland that helps u do that shit, its impossible bitches..

Anyway, I was surfing channels on my Dish-Network, because hell, that's what I pay 100 bucks a month for..to surf.

Well I came across The Golden Girls.

Please put a bullet in the brain....preferably quickly...and if your a bad shot, just let me do it..

It did however make me realize that hearing one old bat call another old bat a tramp, ..is going to make being old very worth while...

I think I have a tumor inside my foot....

what else...what else....

My 8 year old Blondie told me that when she grows up she is going to own a bunch of land and have houses on the land, and she is going to let her sister and brother live in those homes..(she did make sure to say AGAIN she will OWN the land) and then they can all swim in her pool or lake and they can hang all summer and do things.

I don't know but that kinda sounds like the making of a cult to me.

God Speed specail one...God speed..

Turn up the Radio

Since its summer vacation for Gods sake, I try not to wake up before dawns crack...Because I really do enjoy the shut eye...

This morning I hear the ole hubs leave to go earn his greenbacks...

I am sort of awake anyway, because there is this massive thunderstorm brewing out my window..God didn't care it was still sleepy time for me.

A couple minutes later my phone rings...I lay there and don't even entertain the thought of answering it, because no one needs to call me this early...And if someone has died, they will still be dead at 8am and I will answer the phone then.

I close my weary eyes again..and BAM the phone is ringing again. This time I look to see who it is, and I see its hubs calling from work.

I answer it and he informs me they are sending them all to the tornado shelter and would like me to follow suite here...

The tots are already down there, because they love sleeping down there when its hot out..

I figure to myself if it was that important the siren would blow..

This city has a weird way of wanting to kill people, because they rarely blow it when there is one heading right for me.

I turn on the telly and sure right on the news it says there is one heading to my house.

Still no whistle..

The people who run the city must have part time jobs at walmart and are unable to function in normal capacity....

And I just feel sorry for them..

God speed retards..

~

My 4 year darling tot is obsessed with The Jonas Brothers. For you feeble minded elders, its a couple of semi good looking brothers who pound out tunes in Radio Disney and The Disney Channel..

My darling tot swears she will marry one...I tell her she wont. she cries and says she is a princess and they will indeed marry her. All of them.

I say not unless you wanna be jailed...You cant marry more then one person...plus your 4 and thats a jail sentence all in itself.

Then she informs me she is almost 5..

well you got me there honey...

she is also convinced they live in our homeland back in Michigan.

I keep telling her they would NEVER live there...not ever.

She then says while she was watching the Disney Channel they said they are all over the world, and therefore the homeland is part of that world so they are there.

I cant hardly argue wit that logic.

~

While my mom and I were on our adventure driving to Virgina Beach a couple weeks ago, I advised her to put in our Jimmy Buffet CD..She bought it a while back and left it in my van, and it had never been open.

When your on the open road, sometimes hearing " why don't we get drunk and screw" just makes the flow of traffic go faster...

So she opens it and pops it in. The damn thing keeps spitting itself out and says "error"

I'm getting fuckin irritated because I don't want to be on this damn trip to start with, and plus its never been opened so how could I have damaged it already?????

We try a good 10 times , I have her breath on it, and wipe it, figuring this will help anything...I mean that technique is golden..

The damn thing kept being spit back out..

Finally I lift up the package to put the broken CD in..and on the box I see that it is indeed.

A

DVD..

~

~

~

Two weeks from Saturday is my show...I cant wait...see, this is a ticket I need to take with me when I go..

wouldn't u be excited too?

Normally I get these here things about 3 or 4 times a tour, but since they are not doing a full scale tour to suit MY needs, this is my only one this year SO FAR...

Get ready to rock, christina !
Thank you for your order of (1-[ : 0 : 0]) 5 Star(s).
Please print this Order Confirmation and present it, along with a photo ID for christina ******, at your special meeting place on the day of the show. You will receive an itinerary email 5-7 days before your show including details about meeting time and place.
Your Order ID: 117****Artist Name: Def Leppard 2008Order Details: (1-[ : 0 : 0]) 5 Star - Iowa State Fair, Des Moines, IA, August 16, 2008Amount Paid: 185.00Payment Type: Visa
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Yup, this will be a sweet day for me...

The only bright spot about this whole damn summer...

Trust me, you know I have had a bad summer when I say..

"I'm having a bad summer"