I cant tell you why

So my baby boy came home from 5th grade today and informed me he had some sort of Growth and Development class at the school where they forced my baby to hear about the grotesque anatomy of not only the male body, but the female as well.



This is big news.



I remember when we had these movies and classes..



Only thing I can remember about the male movie was them showing a boy standing by his locker with a boner in his pants..and that if we saw things of this nature we should not tease because it was something they can not control.



From 5th grade onto 12th grade I always watched for boners in the hallway...



Anyhoo enough about me...I asked him what he learned about the girls.



He was blushing and said he didn't want to say.



So I forced it out of him and you know what he said..



you mean you want me to tell you about breast size?



holy shit no....please don't talk to your mom with the huge rack about breast size...thanks for the bonding son.



Then he went on to say that he learned about sperm and eggs making bratz and then they start growing in the girls uterus.



Then the baby is taken out by surgical scissors.



come again...did they not teach my boy about the wonder of the vagina?



I did not ask anymore, as my heart was starting to give out..I already know one day he will wake up like this..

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Then to top off the sex talk, we are under a Winter Storm Warning and could get about a foot of snow by Saturday morning.

If anything puts me in suicidal tendencies, its this.

it was just 55 outside yesterday.

I cant take it anymore. I am the flip flop momma, not the snow boot momma.

Anyway, this is my trauma for today..

Nothing like talking breast size with the 11 year tot...its priceless.

Try it.