Hotel California

I made some chocolate schewty balls today. I like my balls schewty, as well as chocolatey..So just take note of that people. My Boo helped me make said schewty balls, as her hands were in the mix making a ball, she would say.." Momma its gooey"

I told her under normal circumstances balls are not good when they are gooey.

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I asked Mr Shaky what he was getting me for Hanukkah. remember I hate Christmas now, and I am a Jew, He told me not only was he not getting me anything for my new Jewish holiday, but if I kept it up I would not be getting a Christmas gift either.

Ya see, I let this man be in charge of buying the Christmas cards. This was my fault, I know this. If I was not so lazy as to drive to the card store myself, I would not be here bitching about it now...But anyway, he bought these cards I have to put together. They pull out..So I have to fill out the cards, then insert it into the slot. Then insert a few family pics..Then the envelope is to small and I have to cut down my pictures...Then Blondie licks the envelopes and asks me if its ok if your tongue bleeds...I asked her why..

she got a paper cut on her tongue from licking and has now retired from doing so.

So if u get a card from me, your lucky, cuz holy shit....That's a lotta work for a welfare going chic like myself.

I am all about being lazy. I like being lazy, yet I don't like being around people who are lazy..yup, makes no sense..

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I though I would show u some pics of crap I painted. This is some of my Jew stuff. I buy it from a bisk store, I come home, when my kids go to bed, I paint. Well I use to. No time anymore..I can paint something in under a half hour..Its really very amazing...

















Then there is this thing, I cant remember what it was, it broke..But here is what is left.


















Oh and here is my ugly tree....



















normally my tree is nice. This year it sucks ass. The kids broke some of the ornaments, the cat keeps taking the bows off, and the other cat keeps taking the tree skirt off and laying in it. This is part of the reason I am a Jew now.

Here is my banister going to my room..























It looks much better when the lights are off....As does everything....Everyone is good looking in the dark..Remember that.

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I think I am gonna vomit. I ate to many balls today. Take note yet again...Too many balls turns the biggest ball lover into a non ball lover.

Really, if I see another ball again, I am gonna kill someone.
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My son keeps telling the girls to be quite because they are going to make me mad. I told him I am already mad..So then he told them to be quiet or I was going to get angry..Told him , too late for that too.

he asked me if I am ever not angry..I told him.." Not that I can recall"

He nodded in agreement.

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I need to go find a Manorra..And where do I find a draddle? And how do u use one?

I am still waiting for my gifts....I don't know when the Holiday starts, but u can start sending them anytime now..

I wont be back for a few days..I got things that I got to do, places to go, people to see..People to hire and people to fire...Asses to kick and faces to lick.

Why everytime do I sit down here to type anything does my son ask me if I am famous?..I am just going to start telling him I am...Holy shit, he is a retard he will never know the difference..

Bee Real