Comfortably numb

I have one question. Its a simple one. Why is it that when u order something with chicken in it at a Chinese joint, it looks and taste like anything but chicken? I swear to God those chinese people are in the back laughing their asses off at the people who order meals with chicken in them..I can hear them now..

haha, dos po foos dink dae eatin shik-on...das so fun-y...da eatin dawg, dae wike it, dae wiwwy wike it...hahaha

ok dont make any wise crakcs about my chinese accent, i dont have that one down yet...its a work in progress..so screw u

those damn Chinese got me again. I swear to God it does not even taste like chicken. I mean you hear people talk about tasting weird things like snake, shark, boogers, what have U..And everyone says " it taste like chicken"

So how is it that chicken does not taste like chicken?..I will tell you..cuz its dog, or cat, or some other kinda weird domesticated animal..

Mr Shaky asked why I was not eating my chicken. I told him it was not chicken. He tried it, and agreed it was not chicken....

Yup..I have been duped again by the Chinese folk...I am still hungry...Paid 10.95 for my plate of cashews, domesticated animal meat and rice...At this rate, I will be thin in no time.

I have another qeustion about dining out. Why when I see two gals out for dinner and I assume they are girlfriends hangin out, a night away from the kids and men...But when I see two guys out for dinner, I automatically assume they are gay?

why oh why does my mind go right directly to that they are gay?...I am a freaking retard, thats why.

~
Shopping was awful. I hate shopping. Why do things cost so much money?Why cant I pay say...50 bucks for 3 bags full of shit for the bees? Why does 50 bucks only buy me one gift for one bee? My kids needs jobs.

so I dropped down 300 bucks, for my first round of shopping. I am gonna need a third job for next year...As the lil crappers get older, they cost more money. I remember when I could get away with getting them legos, a cardboard book and a squeak toy..Maybe even a stuffed elmo...


If they want to rake in the kind of loot I know they are expecting, they need to get jobs...They just sit around here all day..No reason why they cant get after school jobs. It doesn't matter they are 3, 6, and 9....If they lived in say..CHINA...They would be working full time jobs and making 9 cents an hour already.

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So my dear ole son went to school Friday, as he does all the days the building is open. I get a call around 9am CST and its the office lady. This office lady is a spittin image of that baby killer Andrea Yates. They could be twins. Anyhoo, baby killer look a like lady says to me..

um, Butch came down to the office complaining of a stomach ache...

well he is just getting over the stomach flu...

um, well he says he got knocked out at wrestling last night and was knocked out for 20 minutes and woke up in the clinic.

ahh, he said what?...

I am kind of concerned he may have a concussion.

well Andrea, I would not be too damned concerned, cuz that shit never went down. You think I would send my kid to school if the night before he had been knocked out for 20 minutes and I had to transport his wuss ass to the hospital?...Your kidding me right?

well, he said he landed on his head and...

whoa..This never happen , well this is part that is correct, he did go to wrestling.

so he was not knocked out?

um, not now, but he might be when he gets home.

so, I asked baby killer look alike lady if they wanted me to come get him...He stayed. I woulda kicked his damn ass if he woulda came home early for that bidness.

When he got home I asked him about said lie. This is him

I don't know..I don't know why I said it..I swear, I wont lie again , unless it is approiate..

son its never apporiate..

ok, ok, I will never lie again.

That kid is some piece of work...And I don't like working.

~
On the way home from shopping my stomach was acting funny. Mr Shaky says to me..

man, did u fart?

well, I had two bowls of chili today

holy crap, I am proud of you, did u just admit to farting? That is a first, u never do that..

shut up before I poke your damn eyes out.

hell, even Boo has enough balls to admit when she farts...Good for u honey, your such a big girl


as he is rolling the window down...

I am sure my dignity is laying somewhere on 394 in Minnetonka by the Ridgedale mall....I am sure it has been run over countless times..

What can ya do?...As my Boo says..."Momma, sum-ties, I gots to go poop and sum-ties I gotta fart....And momma, I did fart!"...Then she proceeds to ask me if I heard it.

I will never ask u if u heard it, or if u think something smells bad.

And for the record, I don't normally fart, that was a minor slip up...Ok, well a major slip up..

I think I may have just farted yet again....Curse them kidney beans...

bee real