Intution

When I got to my MIL's house in July, I was not in the door more then 2 damn minutes and she said " oh wait hun, I got something for you"..

Seems I got some junk mail there and rather then throw it out...she kept it and saved it for me..for 8months..................

Well, I must say I am glad she did, because what this junk mail was...was a free trail for the Shick Intuition razor, plus a refill..

Now I thought to myself, no way in hell will I use this piece of crap. I am the kinda gal who either uses shampoo or when I am feelin real spendy I buy Skintamate shave gel..And now being that I am...um...well...unemployed...this free sample has saved the stubble that has been accumulating over the last few weeks.

I love this thing..All you do is wet it and go...Its like God created something special, just for me. Like he knew I would fall on hard times, and thought a nice piece of junk mail might get me thru these pathetic displays of crying and sobbing over the loss of my job..

yea right..

Anyway, this is some cool stuff. I like want to shave my legs and pits like every other day....I am smoother then a snake who just shed its skin..

all over, as it works good in those, um, problem areas...


Oh and I lost ten pounds since I been home...in one freaking week. That goes to show what kind of a lifestyle I was living there..No walking 8 miles a day, no veggies or home cooked meals...

I would of not lasted 6 months before my arteiries would of caved in on themselves.

Although I do have my funeral all planned out..which the odd part is, Mr SHaky has been asking me what kind of ceremony I want..which sort of gives me the creeps, but also I know shit will get done the way I want...because he worries I will come back and haunt him. No shit..he really does think that..

This is an email I sent him...so he knows what I want..

ok here is what I want..

Lots of flowers,,,daisy's and any other u see fit..I do not want flowers on my casket..i want a nice solid colored casket...maybe a rose or a purple color..if u can find a nice pale green one at a good price, that would be your best bet..

song list goes as follows..

Two steps behind...opening hymn..

to get everyone to stop shedding tears, jump into No matter what..

not sure if there will be any speakers there, as not many people like me..under no circumstances do I want your brother Matt to say anything, hell, I dont even want him to go..

make sure on my "board" you copy pics of me and the kids and u..thats why I like getting pics with us and them..for the board..

also make a separate one of my concert pics...by the time I die, there will be a very big collection...and even though u dont like the ugly chics, please post all the pics i have with me and them..by the time i die, I will also have a good collection of those..

oh and post pics of my tattoos...or else have me lay on my stomach..so they can be seen..I paid good money for them..by the time i die, there will be a collection of those as well..

after you or whoever says a few good things about me....close with a 21 gun salute..and then play Purple Rain, that will be my closing hymn..

don't take me to hackers...

then bury me under a palm tree ..

any questions


for those of you who aren't sure..Two Steps behind is a Def Leppard song..part of the lyric goes like this

Whatever you do I'll be two steps behind you Wherever you go and I'll be there to remind you That it only takes a minute of your precious time To turn around and I'll be two steps behind


see its kinda fitting...

No Matter What is also a Lep song, its the Boo's fav song here is aprt of the lyic for that one

No matter what you are I will always be with you Doesn't matter what you do girlOoh girl with youNo matter what you do I will always be around Won't you tell me what you found girlOoh girl, oh won't you


see..fitting again...

and if your wondering what Hackers is..its the name of a funeral parlor on the homeland, which my lesbian friends family owns...they are creepy..like the kinda creepy you get when u see Marylin Manson.

So far all my family has went there, including grandpa, but SHaky knows I will haunt him if I go there..and he ain't willing to risk it.

Ok, I gotta go...I think there is a tornado coming or something...shit.