Die hard the hunter

So indeed I did not come down with a rampid case of head lice, scabies or any type of Asian/bird/poultry flu. I worked my full 12 hour shift Saturday and my full 8 hour shift Sunday. But it does leave me with one humorous tale to tell..I know how u like that.

Late Sunday afternoon the Police brought in a gentleman who had just been in our custody not too long ago..He was brought in for something, and he was drunk. I threw him in a holding cell and he said he was thirsty. So being the nice officer I am I get a nice big plastic cup and fill it with some nice cold h2o for my lil inmate. I unlock his cell and tell him to walk over and get it. He looks at my cup I am offering, and that is not enough. He does not want that he needs a quart of water.

""a quart you say?...hmm...Not gonna happen my friend, not gonna happen"

So I slam his door shut and leave the thirsty drunk there to just be...Well thirsty I guess.

After we were done with evening meds I go and check on him. He tells he he needs to go to the bathroom, so I open his cell and escort him to the potty. He asks me if it would be ok if he puts his head under the faucet to get a drink, because he needed a quart of water to quench his drunk ass thirst..

After he gets out of the potty he walks over to me and this is what he says..And I do quote..

"you know, Jesse Ventura is a close personal friend of mine, and if he would show up with a thimble full of water for me, I would take the thimble and stir it with his fucking brains, then I would kick him....No one just offers me a thimble full of water when I need a quart. I swear even if Jesse Ventura offered me a thimble full of water I would take it, and stir his fucking brains with it, then I would fucking kick him.."

For those of you who aren't clear on who Jesse is, he was a professional wrestler who was indeed the governor of this crappy state a few years back..And the close personal friend of this drunk asscracker.

This is what I deal with. Sometimes getting paid a lot of money per hour to deal with people like that isn't worth it. This indeed was not the case....

I tried my hardest to keep from laughing, he was so serious. As of 9 pm he was still in the holding cell awaiting booking. I am sure he will get Jesse on the phone and tell him how long he had to wait to get in his own cozy cell..Poor lil fella.

~

My lil Boo is loving her new bed. She looks so little sleeping in it.

The other night me and Mr Shaky were sitting on the couch and she is standing close by and she is petting our little kitten. I asked her if the kitty was cute. She said it was. Then she asked me why the kitty was cute. I told her because God made her cute.

Then she says..

"momma, God is my frwend"

I then say ," yes God is your friend, your right."

she smiles and is so proud of herself for saying that God is her friend.

My mom comes over and I say to Boo " tell grandma who your friend is"

" God is my frwend, God likes me...And the kitty too..God is my frwend, I like God"

All I can say, is at least she has a friend, unlike her dang mother who begs people on the internet to be her friend.DAMN what a damn loser I am.

~
Hey internet, I am friendless. Do u feel sorry for me? Hey I have big boobs, does that help?...Yes...No..?

I make a mean turkey(meat)loaf.....Does that matter?

I can also whip up a good grilled cheese sandwich...


Oh speaking of food, I am now on a ..No carb, no fiber, no liquid, no meat, no protein, no sugar and no salt diet.

I can eat grass seed, small amounts of muddy rain water and I can chew on kibble but I cant swallow it.

I am taking my dress in to be altered in one week for the wedding I am in. And it aint looking good. Not looking good at all.

Well I am gonna go sit and wait for the dish net work people to come and give me my vh-1 classic.

if I get cranky over the next few weeks, its because I am most likely all bound up from lack of nourishment. But it will pass. Or I will die. Either way, it will work out in your best interest.

Bee Real