poison

Now some of you might think I am a child abuser, but I don't fancy the term...I would prefer to be rendered a...child reform specialist.


I have this bottle. Its a plastic spray bottle I keep a concoction of Pine-Sol and water in. I use it to wipe down the table and counter tops...cause thats how i roll, I like to be able to disinfect at a moments notice.





I keep it either under the sink or on the counter or in the babies bottle..(ok u got me, i don't have a baby) so I have easy access to it, should I need it in a hurry





the other night the Boy was messing around and he somehow got some of my concoction on his arm...I am still trying to figure this one out...





Anyway, he came and informed me of his contamination. He proceeded to ask me if he should be experiencing any itching or burning...like he had some sort of venereal disease.





I told him to just go wash his arm and he would be ok...or so I thought.





He proceeded to question me about this product, and was very alarmed I was not calling poison control. In fact, he brought me the phone so I could call them.





This kid would not let it rest...He looked on my generic spray bottle I purchased at Target some 2 years ago, and on the bottle, it says ..





keep out of reach of children





could this get any better, i thought to myself..





I again told him he was not only going to live, but needed to get his ass to the table and finish his homework.





He then began to have a freak out because I did not seem concerned that his arm could be burning off.





So when his dad came into the room, he asked him what would happen if he were to somehow get this shit on his arm..





Dad told him to just wash it and he should be ok.





He did not buy it.





the child proceeded to tell me that a nice normal mom would have callen poison control and also informed all state and local authorities of this possible deadly combo he had manifesting on his forearm.





I am sure u will be happy to know my almost 11 year old son is not only still alive, but his gapping burn wound is not even visible to the human eye..





thank you my Lord and Savior for making my concoction of 1 part pine sol to three parts water NON lethal when sitting atop a gentile boys arm...





amen.





~


Going on day 4 with no High School Musical 2. The withdrawls are that of what I assume a heroin addict goes thru..





*shakes


*nausea


*vomiting


*GI trots


*headache


*mood swings


*heart palpation's


*sweaty palms


*red eyes


*stuffy nose


*insomnia..





the list could drag on for miles...





Hubby says its just a case of PMS and a cold...I say he is a dumb ass and don't know shit about what I am going thru..





I must say that since the kids hid the movie from me I have found a new appreciation for Radio Disney. My kids fancy this station and always have my XM radio tuned to it. I use to hate it..





But now, I think I heart it.





About every 3rd song is one from High School Musical 2 and every 5th song is Bet On It, my best song from said movie...





Although Its not the same without seeing Zac Efron dance and sway to the music, but its better then nothing.





I don't ask for much, give me my damn movie back...





Man I hate kids...





But this isn't anything that a rooftop and an AK-47 wouldn't take care of.