Man down

Ho Ho Ho u ho bags....Hope everyone had the most delightful Xmas ever..

So, lets see...

I, I mean santa, got each of the kids a small fish tank for Christmas..I got the tanks all set up and had them hid in my bedroom for a day. I went and bought the kids each a couple fish and threw them in their betrothed tanks..

After the tots went to bed I scurried down to set the shit out under the tree..Its so stressful, pretending to be a big fat man who carries lots of cool shit..I panic and worry one of the tots is going to run upstairs to take a leak, or to be nosey or whatever kids do when they aren't sleeping..

When I get the whole setup done, I am relieved and feel so stressed I could drink a whole bottle of something...

I get all nestled in bed and realize I forgot to set the fish out..So I start taking the tanks down one at a time. I lift the tank and head for the door, then all of a sudden one of the fish jumps out of the tank and lands in a plastic walmart bag on my bathroom floor...I holler for hubby..

man down, man down..hurry , theres a man down...

We find said fish, and we try to revive him. He had been out of the water for at least a minute. he may be suffering brain damage as we speak...He gets back in the water and he is swimming like he had never landed in a plastic walmart bag.

Then after everything is in place again, I head for bed..

We get up the next morning, and low and behold, our little friend in the end did not e survive his walmart bag excursion....

If the little sonofabitch woulda stayed put, I mean what fish jumps out of a fish tank?

stupid dead ones...

For Christmas dinner I have a house full, its us 5, my mom and OCG and her two girls...I set the table and lay all the dishes I have prepared in the middle of my table. HUbby layed some decorative gold ribbon along the middle of the table and we had some very pretty lit white candles...

We were Merrily passing the bowls around so everyone could fill their plates..

Then in a calm voice Shaky says...

oh shoot there is a fire , does someone mind blowing that out?

so in the middle of Christmas dinner there is a full blown fire at my table...

See, thats the ribbon that not only met its maker, but nearly burned my humble abode to smithereens.

Here are the fish tank...

no fish were harmed in photo taking of said picture, the harm was done transporting them...

Anyhoo, so I sit around all day waiting for family to call me and wish me a happy holiday. I thought for sure since I called my dad Thanksgiving, he would surely call me on Christmas...

Boy was I sadly mistaken....

Now hubby is looking at patterns for his new sewing machine....I swear if he makes me a sundress I am gonna have to put a cap in his ass.

So to sum up the day...

fish jumps out, I save fish...to only have it die

My table catches on fire during our Holy dinner nearly killing everything in its path.

My dad forgot to call me...maybe he is Jewish I don't know, I forget shit sometimes.

And hubby is now fiddling with his sewing machine and still has the box 360 in the box...

His nutsack has more estrogen then ONE of my ovaries.

Ho Ho Ho...and Happy Holidays