Long way home

Since this will be my last post till after the big HoLidAy, I have a lot to cram in here..So if you have Jesus in your heart, you can make it thru till the end..



May God be gentle with the ones who cant make it...



It seems my plan of letting my dear Blondie stay home Monday back fired on me, as the school called me Tuesday afternoon cause the lil whippersnapper was a tad feverish..



She is still running a low temp, and school rules are u can not attend school if u have a fever in the last 24 hours..



So her perfect attendance record was torn by me, and shattered by the bug ailing her tiny blonde body..



So this makes a school week of missing 2.5 days...Go me..I am one kick ass mom..hell yeah.



~

In my last post, someone referred to me as the cookie Nazi..and it reminded me of a somewhat humorous story...I mean it might just be one of those situations where u just had to be there, but I am going to enlighten you anyway..



Ok, picture this.



I am preggers with Blondie so its eight years ago. My mom has this friend whom is a BIG timer into breast feeding and getting the word out that your kids will be retarded and you don't love them unless they suckle your bossom..



She had dropped me off some books because I had made mention I was thinking of breast feeding this kid...ya no, to cut my costs down..



I had tried with the boy, but well...the kid didn't like boobs then and he don't like boobs now...



Anyway, I had leafed thru her books and did some reading and whatnot on it..and thought I would try it..



So the day I had her, a nice chilly Feb. afternoon, I was holding her in my arms and decided I would shove the boob in her mouth and feed my young..



I tried the football hold, and any of u moms who breast fed, know what this is..



Well, I was tired and she was being bitchy so I called the nurse in to help me fiddle around with the whole situation..



She was no help, so I told her to just bring a bottle of Jack D for me and some Enfamil for the tot..



I was worried about this friend of my moms, cause if she found out I had put a bottle in my kids mouth, she would prolly put spikes in my tires..



I called my mom and told her NOT to tell her I had the baby, as I did not want her showing up at the hospital...



Well too late, not more then did I get the sentence out, and there she was..hovering over me and my bottle fed infant.



Oh the shame...



She told me when I got home she would come over and help me get it all figured out. I told her that would be fine..knowing full well I would NOT be calling her..



Well three days went by and my crotch was on fire, my hemorrhoids were flaring and my boobs were leaking...So I was not in the best of moods.



My dad came by to take another peek at his newly born granddaughter and low and behold the woman shows up..



I let her in and tell her baby is sleeping and she is hard to keep awake because she has jaundice and needs to be kept under her bili blanket till she is 20..and my tot needs her rest..



She went on about the booby feeding for a while then left..Telling me, I mean warning me, she would be back..



My dad says to me..



what the hell is she the nipple Nazi?



yeah..so there is my story..



~



But that brings me to some thoughts...I was thinking back on that time and it was hard for me to remember Blondie being a baby. I mean I look thru the photo albums and I see them as babies, but I have a hard time remembering the feeling, the sleeplessness, the smell...everything..Its all a distant memory.



Even Boo, and she is four now..I look at her little body and I just have a hard time picturing her as a baby..



And the boy...forget it...



The only way I know for sure I was pregnant for him, is the fact my torso is covered in stretch marks, cause before him you could bounce a quarter off my rock hard abs..



This kid will be 11. I think to myself, self, where the fuck has the time gone..



I look at them and I know they are mine, I know I birthed them..but I just wish their formative years were not such a distant memory..Why does it go so fast?



WHy cant the first Christmas last forever?



Why do they have to grow and get mouthy and sass me?



Why am I stuck dealing with teachers who treat my baby bad?



Why did the toffee I made today turn out like shit?



So this is a friendly reminder to those of you with babes..



Breast feed or the nipple Nazi will visit...



and make sure u keep a running tab of shit the kids do thats cute...cause one day u will forget all of it...



~



Now this brings me to the crap I bought shaky for xmas..



He has been bugging for this for YEARS...and I have been putting it off because to me it just seems weird.



He is getting and Xbox 360, but thats not it..



He is getting Guitar Hero...but that's not it..



This man has been up my ass for years about getting one of these..



He really has a scrotum sack filled with what I suspect are ovaries...but thats beside the point..



After years of waiting, begging, pleading his case...I finally bought him..a













Sewing machine.

Not only am I kick ass mom, but one stellar of a wife...

Chew on that...

Happy Holidays....