talk dirty to me

Warning, I am on the computer that is missing a letter..the one between E and G...*or you retards, I will wait while u sing the alphabet in your heads...






done..










done..








ok, on we go..



* that will be in place o* said letter















So the birthday festivities went pretty well...She is 4 now. Holy shit.







When I look at her baby photos, my uterus aches...it badly wants a companion living inside it or a short period equalling less then one year, but it wont be getting one.










that would mean no drinking or nine *ull months, and I can not risk it..






Here are some pics o* her..













































does she look 4?...Does my uterus look lonely?



































Look, we are posing...she loves me, and my uterus is smiling too, I know you can not see it..





































She looks very special in that pic...as I told you, she will be riding the short bus a*terall.





































Messy girls...I did have to hose them down.







































Reason number 40 my uterus weeps....













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I am getting pumped *or my slut *est...I mean De* Leppard concert on Monday.







I have my dew rag all picked out, my thong, my lip gloss, sunglasses, and my deodorant.






Notice I did not say..

















bra








Bible








taste*ul clothes.





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Here are some pics o* me and my buddies..




































































































































































she was being a smart ass....she really does not have a permanent scowl on her *ace.













































































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yeah so...there we are...Nothing like having pals who come and have a hoe down, all *or your 4 year olds birthday.



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My new Shick Intuition is working pretty well. I am down to my last *ree trail blade, a*ter this, I am going to have to break down and buy one. But we all know I can not do that until I get my nice *Fancy, state issued unemployment debit card...I can not wait to run that bitch thru the *first cashier line at Walmart...that is high class there..top notch.



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I think I might dye my hair pink..



Well, I wont be around much the next couple days.



I am ironing and packing my slut clothes



I am mowing my lawn



I am trying to console my uterus



I am going to get *fitted *or a diaphram, IUD, stocking up on condoms.



Be*ore I do something really, really stupid.



And we all know...I do really stupid things.










Holy shit,,,spell check accutally repaired some o my letter delima.

thank you my Lord and Savior..

and spell check.



Amen

I want to know what love is......I want u to show me

Have you ever had a shooting pain that ran up your uterus then back down your leg and landed in your big toe..?



I have you ever doubled over in pain with every step?



Unless you wear tampons monthly, you have no idea what I speak of.



I can not even wear a pair of trouser's..yes I said trouser..as I can not get them buttoned without some sort of reinforcement.



I am a proud woman and I do not like begging men and small children to help me zip my fly.



Although I have no issue whatsoever sending ole Shaky out to purchase my tampons.



I need someone to come rip my uterus out....thank you.



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I will get my first unemployment payment by Wednesday. They issue these fancy credit card like things...Its so everyone can point out who are the losers who can not keep a job whilst waiting in the cashier line at Target..



Living off the state may have its perks..although I have not found any, but they sure as shit make it known that you are...



Not my fault I worked for a bunch of heartless wenches who took it upon themselves to let go of four good people because we were asking where our benefits were..



I have never really been fired from a real job...I have quit jobs..for various reasons..such as, but not limited too..



*the smell of dead people makes me sick



*the sight if dead people makes me sicker



* being told to do and or say things that was against my religion..or whatever.



*I was lazy and just didn't wanna work



* I felt like jabbing toe nail clippers into the eyes of my co-workers.





the list goes on and on...



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This is me...waiting for my state funded income..






































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Its hard to believe I once wore power suits and did power points at one time..


I think I might buy me some fancy lawn decorations with my first payment..


never too early to start getting the yard ready for Christmas..might as well get a go on it while the sun still shines..right?


I would fit right in with the other members of the county/state whom get paid living off the state aide..



technically though, most of my income still comes from the crazy house...so maybe I should not go full onboard Christmas...just maybe start Halloween now.


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Boo will have a birthday next week. She will be four.


I asked her today if she remembered living in my tummy, to my surprise she did remember.


She told me it was really dark in there.


Proof enough for me she remembers.