when doves cry

Ok, what I am about to write about is not for the faint or weak of heart. If you have any sort of heart condition, you might just want to pack up your shit and leave now.

I have had a bad few days.

It all has to do with the whole eve eating the apple and God punishing ME for something that happened thousands of years ago..

I have had the worse cramps over the last two days. I mean its been so bad it hurts to sit, and walk.

I lay on my bed and pray for certain death, or menopause.

Then I worry about growing whiskers if I go thru menopause, so then I think death is the best option.

Then as sit on the john and open my beloved box of Tampex ,(as if I have nothing better to do) and read the little insert they give u about inserting this device into your um..hoohaw.




































































Then as I am reading it tells you what absorbency to use. Mind you , the Playtex people actually think we ladies know how many grams of blood we lose during our menstruation.



If you bleed 6-9 grams you need SUPER PLUS absorbency,I say, if I don't want to leak onto my nice satin thongs, I will use what ever absorbency I see fit.




Who the hell knows how many grams they are letting go of during such times? I sure as hell don't.




All I know is its shit loads from day one to day 2...after day two is pretty much spotty-ness..all days thereafter, touch and go...might have a driblet here and there...



I know what your thinking



..who the hell cares and why is she writing this sick shit..




I don't know..I am in pain and I hate losing blood.



I like blood, especially when it is flowing in my veins and or arteries. I don't like it ending up in my undergarments.

Ok..I am done talking about this..



and my apologies to you and yours for the graphic images I set forth in your feabel little minds.
~


Well Prince is having a private concert at Macy's the day of the big show at The Target Center..

They are blocking off the whole 8th floor just for this event. If you purchase a $250.00 ticket to this private show, you not only get a ticket to the show later that night, but you also get a a bottle of his new fragrance.



Oh La La..



I want to go to this private showing.


I deserve nothing less then this..


Guess who is NOT going to this show?








Bastard.




A friend from work is going to the show with me, we are going to fork out the 130 bucks for the regular show and pray for the best.



Its almost a good thing Shaky isn't going, as I don't think it would do his ego good seeing me there lifting my shirt and tossing my undies..(clean ones of course) up on the stage..I am not sure why...But I think Mr Shaky is a bit, shall I say..Jealous..



I mean I can not blame him, when Prince sees my nice clothes, and well manicured hair...oh and lets not forget my big ta ta's..he will be all over me like a Richard Gere on a hooker.




Although I think he would more then likely give me a Bible and have me escorted out of the building, it will still be well worth it.



I am not sure if I like this new religious side of him..I liked it much better when he humped the stage and used dirty words and such..


He is too much like Mr Shaky now...


I can get that shit at home...



Keep your flippers wet..